When families are strong, much is right with the world. In the loving matrix of the family, we can develop our full potential as individuals. Family life is the source of some of our happiest and most satisfying feelings.
When families are weak or fragmented, however, almost nothing goes well. The most stressful problems of our lives often stem from family troubles.
The importance of the family is recognized in the United Nations' call to observe 1994 as the "International Year of the Family." As proclaimed by the United Nations General Assembly in 1989, the Year takes for its theme: "Family: resources and responsibilities in a changing world."
Implicit in the Year's theme is the recognition that families in our modern age are in a time of transition. In every culture, families are disintegrating, fragmenting under pressure of economic and political upheavals and weakening in the face of moral and spiritual confusion.
Yet families remain the most basic unit of society, and without a re-creation and revitalization of this most fundamental institution, civilization as a whole stands in peril.
The teachings of the Bahá'í Faith, which is today the second most widespread independent world religion, offer a distinctive remedy to many of the forces that are pulling families apart today.
The essential message of the Bahá'í Faith is unity, and Bahá'ís around the world have found that it is possible to use this guiding principle in a way that combines traditional values with progressive social principles so as to provide a bulwark against the forces of disintegration in our modern age.
Family unity begins with marriage, a divine creation. According to Bahá'í law, a man and woman are free to make their own choice of mates; however, they must then obtain permission from their parents for marriage. Although parental consent may seem overly traditional to some in the West, Bahá'ís find that this requirement helps greatly to preserve the unity of the extended family -- while at the same time reaffirming the importance of the bond between parent and child, a lesson that is then passed on to the next generation.
The Bahá'í marriage vows are taken in front of witnesses from the community, further strengthening the supportive network of family and friends. The marriage vow is simple, requiring merely that each partner recite the words "We will all, verily, abide by the will of God." Yet it carries with it an implicit commitment that involves not only the two parties, but also the Creator. Bahá'ís understand from this that the husband and wife must then strive to become loving companions and comrades, "united both physically and spiritually, that they may ever improve the spiritual life of each other."
This commitment is the foundation for creating a happy home. And since the physical purpose of marriage is the creation of a new generation who will love God and serve humanity, children benefit from these promises -- not to mention from the support of the extended family.
These ideas, of course, are traditional: all of the world's great religions have taught essentially the same things about the importance and purpose of marriage and family life. Yet these traditional values have come under attack in the modern world -- and many families are failing under the onslaught. When such values are balanced with progressive principles, however, it is possible to create the kind of family that is in harmony with today's world.
For Bahá'ís, perhaps the most important such principle in the preservation of family unity is the recognition of the fundamental equality between women and men. The Bahá'í sacred writings state: "Until the reality of equality between men and women is fully established and attained, the highest social development of mankind is not possible."
The use of consultation, a non-adversarial method of decision-making, gives the institution of marriage a new resiliency in a rapidly changing world. The spirit of consultation allows husbands and wives the flexibility to adjust their roles, when necessary, to meet the needs of each family member and the family as a whole.
Although men and women have complementary capacities and functions in certain areas, women are encouraged to pursue their own careers, and fathers are not exempt from household duties or child-rearing.
The family must be continually concerned with nurturing the highest qualities and values in each member. Parents must provide for the integrated development of their children's capacities -- spiritual, moral, intellectual, emotional, and physical.
Therefore, both girls and boys are to be formally educated according to the same curriculum. Should limited resources force a choice, daughters, as the potential trainers of the next generation, are to be granted a "prior right to education over sons."
When women are educated, as urged in the Bahá'í writings, statistics show that families reap measurable benefits. Family income rises, and the money mothers control tends to benefit their children.
Educating girl children appears to be one of the best ways to address national population concerns. Educated women have fewer children, and those they bear tend to be healthier, better nourished, and better educated.
At all times, the complex of family relationships must be guided
by the highest moral standard. Unity, justice, love, compassion,
trustworthiness, courtesy, honesty -- these qualities have been
taught humanity by the Founders of all the world's revealed religions
and remain the foundation for human happiness and well-being.