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Old
Habits Die Hard
Wendy Low, Singapore
In Singapore there is always this
general notion that women have already attained equal status with men in terms
of wages, job opportunities, education levels, positions in the society and so
on. Many Singaporean women would claim
we have already achieved gender equality and equity that there is no reason to
question the existing equilibrium women are enjoying.
I am not sure if this attitude is
sheer arrogance or pure oblivious as there are many indications around us that
show Singaporean women are still very much expected to act or fulfil the
images, behaviours, roles and responsibilities as those 50 years ago. Although I must admit that in many instances,
Singaporean women have attained a reasonable level of societal position than
many women in other societies, perhaps this is the sheer arrogance that has
clouded us to perceive we have achieved all and neglected the subtleties that
are still conditioning us to perpetuate the expectations laid by a largely
patriarchal society. Indeed, if we had
achieved gender equality, we would not be subjected to lower wages than men
because of a policy that rewards men for a 2-year compulsory military service*. Nor would the statistics for women civil,
corporate and theological leaders be so disproportionately low. Nor would many people, even women, keep using
gender insensitive languages without realising what they mean to women.
* though
the practice is more entrenched in civil
compared with private sector service
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For example, I usually hear this
common phrase among people, especially from women themselves, “Hey, if you guys
like to meet up, I am OK!” or “What about dinner, guys?” My friends used this phrase too often on me. When I hear this, I would ask myself, “Why
did she use the word, ‘guys’? But I am
not a ‘guy’, I am a woman”. I tried to
check the dictionary on the meaning of ‘guy’ and found that it is an American
colloquial for man. I tried to reason
with myself that perhaps most Singaporeans are too much under the influence of
American pop-culture, but again, I reckon that there is no reason to lump all
human beings into one sex, that is male.
As it is, I can still hear the phrase, “one man one vote”, or when we
describe a person who is indecisive or being wishy-washy as “grandmother and
mother” (it is literally translated from Mandarin, a common language used by
Singaporean Chinese). So it seems that
the female sex is perhaps prone to indecisiveness?
Most of the time, language proves to
be a lethal weapon in gender socialisation.
If we use certain words without questioning, it will soon become a
habit, and in turn a norm. In no time,
we would be using words or phrases without thought, thereby assimilating their
nuances, even if they inevitably discriminate the genders. Gender sensitive language needs to be learned
and practiced when one is young. And it
needs to be reflected upon as we grow older, so that we can continue to be
gender sensitive and sensible. If not,
it will become an old habit that refuses to die.
(Members who play musical instruments are selected
prior to the worship to play the music of the song, Enemy of Apathy as a call to
the rest of members to join in the worship.
When all have gathered, all members sing the song together once again.)
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She sits like a bird, brooding on the waters,
Hovering on the chaos of the world’s first day,
She signs and she sings, mothering creation,
Waiting to give birth to all the Word will say.
She wings over earth, resting where she wishes,
Lighting close at hand or soaring through the skies,
She nests in the womb, welcoming each wonder,
Nourishing potential hidden to our eyes.
She dances in fire, startling her spectators,
Waking tongues of ecstasy where dumbness reigned,
She weans and inspires all whose hearts are open,
Nor can she be captured, silenced or restrained.
For she is the Spirit, one with God in essence,
Gifted by the Saviour in eternal love,
She is the key opening the scriptures,
Enemy of apathy and heavenly dove.
(Enemy of Apathy, from the song book, The Iona
Community, 1988)
Dear God, open our hearts and sensitise
our mind, our ears, our sight to images and words which are discriminatory,
images and words which attempt to draw an arbitrary divide to the goodness of
your reign. For what you have created as
whole, womyn and men have discriminated through their limited
understanding. Our first sin was not in
seeing differences in our sex, but seeing differences in our gender. We pray for
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guidance, for repentance and
reconciliation to our differences. And
we pray for strength and openness to see Christ, not in name, nor embodiment,
but in essence and in spirit. May we all
unite in spirit, to dispel differences and build the godly reign as divined. Amen.
Response
Leader: In the
beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God
All: and the Word was God.
Leader: The Word was whole, and through the Word, the world
was created.
All: Womyn as with
men.
Leader: Though we are different in
sex, in gifts and in strengths, let us not be divided.
All: Womyn as with men.
Leader: Let us not associate words with gender inferiority.
All: Womyn as with men.
Leader: Nor defile God’s image by condescending one sex over
another.
All: Womyn as with men.
Leader: For we are all from the Word.
All: Womyn as with men.
Leader: And the Word
was whole and undivided.
All: Amen
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Biblical Reflections –
Biblical Image of God as Female
“We cannot
get to an idea of God beyond gender until we come to terms with a God who
includes both male and female. Otherwise our idea of God as Spirit will still be
the God-He in abstract terms and we will not dare to say that women are
included in the Image of God as fully as man.”
Rosemary Radford Ruether,
Sexism and God Talk, p.69
(1) God created human beings
in God’s image, Gen 1:26 - 27
(2) God as Wisdom - The
Hebrew word for ‘wisdom’ hokmah is grammatically feminine. Proverbs 3:19-20; Proverbs 8:22, 3-31;
Proverbs 1:20; 8:1-21; 1 Corinthians 1:23-24, 30
Forgive us God if we have been too arrogant, too
proud to listen to you. Forgive us God
if we have not delivered our promises to you.
Forgive us God if we have not been sensitive in using languages that are
gender bias and insensitive. We pray for
your wisdom that we humble ourselves as we learn our first steps again in
acknowledging the many forms of gender discrimination that is happening in our
daily lives. We pray that you give us
strength to overcome our ignorance and insensitivity. Amen.
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For Discussion
1.
What are some of the common gender-discriminatory words or
phrases used in your society? Do you
think these words/ phrases have reinforced society’s perception of these gender
differences? How have they reinforced
these perceptions?
2.
Has the visualisation of God as female made you re-look at
Christian theology differently? How is
it different from using patriarchal terms?
Contemplation Exercise
Write a list of 3 words which you
have used in a gender-insensitive way.
Watch your speech in the course of 1 week and observe how often you have
used these words. If you manage to
refrain from using them, commit another 3 for another week until you have
become gender-sensitive in your speech.
Alternatively for those who have
used any of these gender-insensitive words, contemplate why you used them and
whether there are more balanced ways of articulating your thought. Commit to another 3 words only when you are
ready to renounce the first list.