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FW: dog haiku



Dog Haiku
                                      I love my master
                                      Thus I perfume myself with
                                     This long-rotten squirrel.

                           I lie belly-up
                                      In the sunshine, happier than
                                     You ever will be

                         Today I sniffed
                                      Many dog behinds-I celebrate
                          By kissing your face.

                                      I sound the alarm!
                                      Paper boy-come to kill us all-
                                   Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

                                      I sound the alarm!
                                      Garbage man-come to kill us all-
                                      Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

                                     I lift my leg and
                                      Whiz on each bush . Hello, Spot-
                                      Sniff this and weep

                                      How do I love thee?
                                     The ways are numberless as
                                      My hairs on the rug.

                                      My human is home!
                                      I am so ecstatic I have
                                      Made a puddle

                                      I Hate my choke chain-
                                      Look, world, they strangle me!
                        Ack  Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack!

                                      Sleeping here, my chin
                                    On your foot -no greater bliss-well,
                                      Maybe catching rats

                                      Look in my eyes and
                                      Deny it. No human could
                                      Love you as much I do

                                      The cat is not all
                                      Bad-she fills the litter box
                                      With Tootsie Rolls

                                      Dig under fence-why?
                                      Because it's there. Because it's
                                      There. Because it's there.

                                      I am your best friend,
                                      Now, always, and especially
                                     When you are eating.

                                      My owners' mood is
                                      Romantic-I lie near their
                                      Feet. I fart a big one.

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