Because if I can do one thing, it’s this. Five.

It seems like I don’t blog, but I’ve been managing to answer the five. Even if I don’t always post them.

  1. Do you believe in love at first sight? Why or why not?

    I’m sure love at first sight happens for some people–everybody’s different. Some folks seem to know they belong together in days, weeks… why not minutes? I seem to be more of a slow-burn, though. I warm to new things slowly. All the significant relationships in my life have begun with shy, clumsy dances. Friends who became something more, but then weren’t… but then maybe, and… you know the drill. It seems so adolescent, but it is what it is. Not something that I’m willing to give in to lightly, I guess.

    Lust at first sight, however, is totally in the realm. I mean, who hasn’t?

  2. What physical feature attracts you the most (romantically) to another person?

    I have a weird hand fetish, actually. It’s not particular to a physical type of hand — I can think of the hands of people that I’ve found fascinating and they’re quite different. Strong, clean, dextrous, but not similarly built. Some thin, some thick, some rough, some soft, some well-manicured, others… not so much. I loved to watch one former squeeze’s hands at work: crafting, painting, sculpting. Another had a habit of constantly fidgeting. There was a boy who used to flip quarters and pens about. Any suitors that can deal playing cards the fancy way, do slight-of-hand, or flip bottles in bartending tricks definately have an advantage.

  3. What do you think is the biggest benefit of being in a romantic relationship?

    Call me old-fashioned, but, um, regular sex?

    If I stop and think about it with my logical (i.e. not located in my groin) mind, of course nice things like ‘companionship’ and ‘confidante’ and ‘very best friend’ appear. Those are good, too. But they’re not what leaps to, er, mind.

  4. Biggest downside?

    If things go really well, they might, like, always be around. I mean, that can also be good but sometimes a girl just needs to hang out by herself, play video games, and eat funyons with noone watching.

  5. Has your idea of love and romance changed? If so, how?

    Of course. I think that changes for everyone, unless they live in a bubble somewhere completely isolated from everyone else forever. When you’re young, love and romance are these highly idealized things — I thought that every person has a true love, and that the hard part would be to find him or her. I’m sure that fairy tale does happen, but I know firsthand it’s not as often as I thought. Most people struggle, sacrifice, and make hard choices to stay together; sometimes they do the same and split apart.

    I guess I see love as finite, when I didn’t before. It can run out, or get too tired, or just not wake up one morning. I know this for a fact.

    I also think I know that love is not enough, nor is it absolutely necessary–in the amorous sense. I think people do need to love someone or something, if just to provide them with empathy and grounding and a feeling of community, no matter how small. To be in love is something more and different, though, and that state does seem to change people’s perception of it. When you’re in love, it seems quite fine. When you’ve just left it, you pine for it and resent it all at once. When it’s come and gone, each time it goes it seems to be a little less attractive. “Sure, it was great while it lasted, but, damn, the aftermath blows. I was happier before I ever dated this schmo. Never again!” So far ‘never’ doesn’t seem to exeed five years. Oh well.

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