Totally unrelated things.

Just as a note: If you are dog-sitting and the dog in question requires assistance with his dingleberry poop… shouldn’t you get hazard pay? For handling dog poop? Poop on a hair-string? A string still connected to the dog? Really.

In a more serious vein, this week I did something that terrifies me. Though I’ve never minded speaking in front of people (unless it’s autobiographical), and I’ve never minded talking to people… something about performing when I’m going to have to hear it later absolutely freaks my shit out. I hate being recorded, I hate being taped. I hate hearing myself on an answering machine or seeing myself on a video.

Something else I don’t like: talking to people I don’t know, but admire. I suppose I am hard to impress, but once impressed, easily intimidated.

This week, I had to interview someone whose work I totally love. On the record–the conversation recorded for posterity, sent to translation, and, later, published.

Cue the cringing and self-soaking, right? Pretty much.

I was on the phone with Cory Doctorow for two hours. I have 59 pages of transcript to edit and turn into an article. I felt kind of silly, like a kid playing at being a reporter. I laughed nervously, getting tangled in the too-long-and-winding questions I wrote up. But he was very nice and incredibly patient. And funny and sweet and just generally a really great guy with a gigantic and deeply-wrinkled brain. He’s smart. Very, very, very smart.

Also, he takes pictures of the wallpaper inside the haunted mansion. There’s something dead sexy about that shit, you know.

And perhaps I won’t sound as… twelve on paper.

Why is David Hasselhoff on my television? And why are they referring to him as “The Hoff”? This is very deeply disturbing.

And today’s Friday Five, which is kind of starting to bore me

Boy oh boy, isn’t bwb gonna have fun with this one? Eh, not every five works for everybody, I guess.

  1. What is the most adventurous food you’ve ever tried?

    Some people would consider sushi strange. Or chicken livers. Or paté. I think ‘adventurous’ is in the palate of the beholder. But I haven’t really tried that much of anything out of the ordinary. Certainly not sushi made of horse, like other people that I know…

  2. What is the most adventurous food you’d be willing to try?

    I’ll try just about anything. Won’t promise I can keep it down, though.

  3. Would you have a problem eating dog meat and why or why not?

    Logically, I want to say, “No, of course not. Meat is meat.” I mean, cows are cute. Ditto for little lambs and tiny piggies–they can be lovable and we eat them anyway. Why should puppies be any different? But, realistically? I’d probably have a hard time choking back a braised hunk of Rover.

  4. For the most part, do you consider your diet to be balanced?

    Nah. I’m good about eating the good things, but bad about eating the bad things. Because, really, don’t the bad things taste the best?

  5. Which is more appealing- being a vegetarian for the rest of your life or being a strict carnivore for the rest of your life?

    They sound equally horrible, actually. I like variety. But if I had to choose between eradicating all meat products or eradicating everything else, I’d probably choose the meat. Though I like chicken a lot, and bacon, and occasionally steak, I don’t think I could survive in a world without pineapple or peaches or spinach.

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