Ten views
I saw this over at feministe the other day. I thought about it for a few minutes and it seemed to be a totally hard list to make. So here goes. Might take me a few days.
Ten views I hold without evidence
- The President is an alcoholic toady, lacking 2 functional brain cells to rub together.
I mean, nobody out there can really prove this… but lots of people seem to think so. Thank god for cable television, which had the proper sense to completely ignore the State of the Moron address.
- Anyone wearing clown makeup (or, possibly any sort of child-entertaining costume) willingly (for recreation and fun, not because their paying job requires it) is a big perv.
K thinks this, too. She won’t even go near The Mouse anymore.
- The blue M&Ms taste the best.
They’re not all the same–the blue ones have different dye on the outside.
- I’d be a terrible parent
The evidence is possibly against me here, given that I babysat lots of kids and noone ever died. If I found myself suddenly entrusted with one of the lil buggers, I’d probably fall for it just like I did for our pets, even the dog.
But I’d rather not give up what I’d have to give up to do it… properly. It might be selfish to say so, but it would be more selfish to go ahead and procreate, just because I’m afraid of being old, or of what might happen if I don’t. I guess if I had to it would turn out like it does for most folks–love my kid, do the Right Things. But I’d rather not. Which I think would make me a not-so-great parent. You have to want it. A lot. Not just a little bit.
And it would probably help that the very thought of getting pregnant is, like, horrifying. Not just “that would be bad” but “holy fuck that would be bad shit!” Visceral reactions don’t lie.
- My cat is much smarter than several people that I know
I have no way of testing Allcats’ IQ, and this is the cat who accidentally fell into the toilet… but some people are really stupid.
- Reading is a key sign of intellectual curiousity. People who do not read are not intellectually curious, and thus, uninteresting.
With very few exceptions, people who have said to me, “I hate reading books,” are usally idiots or, at the least, quite boring.
- Robert Smith has God-like powers.
Though I’ve never seen the man move things with his mind, I’m convinced he totally could if he wanted to.
- Anthropomorphizing things (especially technology like computers or cellular phones) makes them work better.
Yeah, I know. But my car is named Percy and my computers are morpheus, delirium, destiny, morrissey, depeche-mode, and fat-bob. I love fat-bob the best, even if he is terminally ill.
- James Joyce was the kind of boring fop that sat around coffeehouses talking too loudly about things he thought sounded really important in an attempt to impress the people nearby who didn’t actually know him.
- People who buy their infants thousand-dollar diaper bags or $500 sweaters are mentally deficient.
I mean, seriously, WTF? There’s rampant consumerism, and then there’s just being plain stupid. But, according to one poster, it’s ok to buy your kiddo $300 outfits if they are sickly babies:
“When you have sat in the hospital every single day for the first 5 months of your daughter`s life - watching her linger on that fine line between life and death - THEN you can criticise me for dressing my child in a couple high priced outfits and a coat he`ll probably be wearing until he`s 5.”
So if your kid stares death in the face, he deserves cashmere sweaters? And having a sick baby is the litmus test for comment? Puh-lease.
Tag, you’re it.