24: season 6, hour 7

Another week, another episode. You might have noticed that I’m behind a day. Ah, the joys of TiVo. It allowed me to keep a nearly-forgotten sushi date and say bon vonyage to a dear pal. (Bon Voyage, dear pal. And thank you. And good luck. And, damn, but I’m going to miss you. Probably not as much as my mom will, though.)

And I didn’t miss a minute of Jack’s adventure to do so. Oh, and, also out this week: you can get Jack’s stuff. Man, this internet sure does have everything.

However, it does not have Jack Bauer and the hours between 12 p.m. and 1 p.m.. So here we go:

  1. Awww, this President has at least an inkling of a clue. But will it be enough? Oh, Tom Lennox-McBeal is so so so weasel-y. And so incredibly neoconservative. And, again with his buddy the leftover Lowe brother.
    “Are you really sorry, Tom? Because your words seem somewhat hollow to me.”

  2. I know you’re James Cromwell. But I still want Donald Sutherland. Though apparently Papa Bauer can unlock handcuffs while wearing them. And shoot a man dead, right through the heart, without a blink. Hmmm, now, that’s not suuspicious or anything.
  3. This whole deal with his sister-in-law? Kiiiiiinky. And why is she so worried about what part her son played? Hmmmm?
  4. Ok, so the way Jack phrases “me and our father” bothers me. I’m not sure if this construction always sounds so weird, or if it’s just the “our father” part (which sounds oddly holy). Wouldn’t he just say “me and dad”? Yeah, yeah, picking of nits, but I had to rewind because it bothered me so I missed everything up to “interrogation package.” Which is of course, like, 24’s signature move.
  5. Uh-oh. Papa Bauer totally sees the agent with the big, uh, interrogation package.
  6. Is it so wrong that I’m briefly finding Eric Balfour attractive? I mean, he is playing the Birkoff character.
  7. And, aw. Maybe Mick Schtoppel isn’t all bad. He wants to go after his baby brother. Awwww.
  8. Yay, torturing Romano. However, does anybody notice that Jack’s heart isn’t really in it? I mean, in the hug. He’s conditioning him, doing what is best. But the actual hug? His face is registering disgust. Though I suppose if I have to be tortured, it’d be nice if… holy shit. His brother, the Judas.
  9. So Romano killed Tony and Michelle and David? Huh? WTF? Didn’t we solve that one last season?
  10. Because he loves his country. Because he’s a complete psycho.
  11. You know that rule? The one about if you’re evil, you should always kill the bad guy, cause if you don’t he’s just going to find a way to escape and cause trouble again? This–is totally true. And Papa Bauer shoulda let Jack blow Romano’s ass away. I bet he’s the engineer or some such shit. Or his dad is.
  12. Hey! Walid didn’t die. Awww.
  13. I’m confused. What did Jack and the murder of Palmer and all that have to do with the company? Luckily, the internets still have everything–or at least wikipedia does.
  14. Yay, Palmer backbone!! Wait, are you interrupting the President, McWeasley! OMG, President Palmer, you are indeed the President. Swoonworthy:

    President: Some of you seem to feel the Constitution is valid only during times of peace but not during wartime. That is not what the founders intended.
    Tom: With your indulgence, sir, George Washington’s enemies wore red coats and marched in a straight line. The founders could never have conceived of a stateless enemy, hiding among us, that targets not our soldiers but our civilization!
    P: Your plan would only hinder the efforts of law enforcement to stop Fayed.
    T: How does my plan hinder law enforcement, sir?
    P: By marginalizing and thereby radicalizing the very people whose help they need to enlist. The American Muslim community is our best line of defense against these terrorists. But we Americans need to demonstrate that we are governed by the rule of law–and, never, never by the politics of fear.

    Also, again, the Veep is a rat. A really chinny rat. Yawn.

  15. Awww, hehe! Mick finally gets some action! Woo! Oh, wait. i guess maybe he wasn’t a shoe salesman after all. Just like he wasn’t Mick Schtopp… oh yeah. Damn. How’d I miss that?
  16. However, I did totally call Papa Bauer. Boo-yeah. Bye, Romano.
  17. And, damn, Jack… your Dad? He’s stone cold. STONE fucking COLD. I still wish he was Donald Sutherland.
  18. Bashir in the previews for next week. Yay.

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