Jack in the Giants'
Newground!
Part IV.
"Oh, no, Jack. I need that crowbar. Pray don't pitch it over n Virginia."
"Well, now," says Jack, "I can't be bothered with pitchin' it back there
just to where you are. If I can't pitch it where I want, I'll not pitch
it at all."
"Leave it layin' then, Jack. Come on let's go back to the house. You
turn loose of my crowbar now." They got back, the giant went in and told
his old woman he couldn't find out nothin' about Jack. Said for her to
test him awhile herself. Says, "I'll go after firewood. You see can't you
get him in the oven against I get back, so's we can eat."
Went on out, says to Jack, "I got to go get a turn of wood, Jack. You
can go on in the house and get ready for supper."
Jack went on in, looked around, didn't see a thing cookie', and there
set a big old-fashioned clay oven with red-hot coals all across it, and
the lid layin' to one side.
The old giant lady came at him, had a wash rag in one hand and a comb
in the other'n, says, "Come here now, Jacky. Let me wash ye and comb ye
for supper."
"You're no need to bother," says Jack. "I can wash."
"Aw, Jack. I anus did wash my own boys before supper. I just want to
treat ye like one of my boys."
"Thank ye, m'am, but I gen'ally wash and comb myself."
"Aw, please, Jack. You let me wash ye a little now, and comb your head.
Come on, Jacky, set up here on this shelf so's I won't have to stoop over."
Jack looked and saw that shelf was right on one side of the big dirt
oven. He cloomb on up on the scaffle, rockled and reeled this-a-way and
that-a-way. The old woman kept tryin' to get at him with the rag and comb,
but Jack kept on teeterin' around till he slipped off on the wrong side.
He cloomb back up and he'd rockle and reel some more. The old woman told
him, says, "Sit straight now, Jack. Lean over this way a little. Sakes
alive! Don't ye know how to sit up on a shelf?"
"I never tried sittin' on such a board before," says Jack. "I don't
know how you mean."
"You get down from there a minute. I reckon I'll have to show ye." She
started to climb up there on the scaffle, says, "You put your shoulder
under it, Jack. I'm mighty heavy and I'm liable to break it down."
Jack put his shoulder under the far end, and when the old woman went
to turn around and sit, Jack shoved up right quick, fetched her span" in
the oven. Grabbed him up a hand-spike and prized the lid on. Then he went
and hid behind the door.
Old giant came in directly. Heard somethin' in the oven just a-crackin'
and a-poppin'.
"Old woman! Hey, old woman! Jack's a-burnin'." When she didn't answer,
the old giant fin'ly lifted the lid off and there was his old lady just
about baked done, says, "Well, I'll be confounded! That's not Jack!"
Jack stepped out from behind the door, says, "No, hit sure ain't. And
you better mind out or I'll put you in there too."
"Oh, pray, Jack, don't put me in there. You got us licked, Jack. I'm
the only one left now, and I reckon I better just leave this country for
good. Now, you help me get out of here, Jack, and I'll go off to some other
place and I'll promise not to never come back here no more."
"I'd sure like to help ye, daddy, but I don't think we got time now.
Hit's too late."
"Too late? Why, how come, Jack?"
"The King sent men down here to kill ye this very day. They ought to
be here any minute now."
"Two thousand! That many will kill me sure. Law, what'll I do? Pray,
Jack, hide me somewhere."
Jack saw a big chest there in the house, told the old giant to jump
in that. Time he got in it and Jack fastened the lid down on him, Tack
ran to the window and made-out like that army was a-comin' down the holler,
says, "Yonder they come, daddy. Looks to me like about three thousand.
I'll try to keep 'em off, though. You keep right still now and I'll do
my best not to let 'em get ye."
Jack ran outside the house and commenced makin' a terrible racket, bangin'
a stick on the walls, rattlin' the windows, shoutin' and a-hollerin', a-makin'-out
like he was a whole army. Fin'ly, he ran back in the house, knocked over
the table and two or three chairs, says, "You quit that now and get on
out of here! I done killed that old giant! No use in you a-breakin' up
them chairs. He ain't here I tell ye!"
Then Jack 'uld tumble over some more chairs and throw the dishes around
considerable, says, "You all leave them things alone now, 'fore I have
to knock some of ye down."
Then he'd run by that chest and beat on it, says, "He ain't in there.
You all leave that chest alone. He's dead just like I told ye. Now you
men march right on back to the King and tell him I done got shet of them
giants and there ain't ary one left."
Well, Jack fin'ly made like he'd done run the army off. Let the old
giant out the chest. He was just a-shakin', says, "Jack, I sure do thank
ye for not lettin' all them men find out where I was at."
So Jack took the old giant on down to the depot, put him on a freight
train, and they hauled him off to China.
The King paid Jack two thousand dollars for bakin' the old giant lady,
but he said he couldn't allow him nothin' on the old giant because the
trade they'd made was that Jack had to bring in the heads.
Jack didn't care none about that, 'cause his overhall pockets were just
a-bulgin' with money when he got back home. He didn't have to clear that
newground for the King, neither. He paid his two brothers, Will and Tom,
to do it for him. And the last time I went down to see Jack he was a-coin'
real well.
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The Jack Tales, by Richard Chase. Copyright 1971.
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