File = LR1.html
Last update = September 9, 1996
Time: prelude INTRODUCTION [Host introduces play] Time: 0000
(At Rise: JUAN is talking to CARMEN and ANA when ALBERTO and LUISA enter. Alberto carries a picnic basket. Juan sees them.) JUAN (to Carmen) Excuse me. The painting you're interested in is around the corner. I'll join you in a moment. (He moves toward Alberto and Luisa. Carmen starts off but Ana hesitates.) JUAN I didn't expect you so early. ALBERTO I'm surprised you're still here. (In other area:) ANA Oh my god - that's Luisa. Luisa! (She moves off as well.) CARMEN (after her) Ana? (She shrugs and continues around corner to other area of livingroom.) (Now the four are together.) ANA Luisa? LUISA Ana! (They embrace.) ALBERTO You have a lot of moving yet to do. JUAN Don't worry, everything will be gone tomorrow. (The women break the embrace.) LUISA I don't believe this. What are you doing here? ANA Helping mother buy art. What are YOU doing here? LUISA This is my house. $[cut speech] ANA You bought this? You must be doing very well. LUISA I inherited it. Alberto, this is Ana - we went to boarding school together. ALBERTO My pleasure. LUISA We just got back from Jamaica - our honeymoon. ANA How wonderful! Congratulations. I hope you know how lucky you are. ALBERTO Absolutely. JUAN I'd better tend to business. If you'll excuse me. (He moves to other area of livingroom.) ANA I have to convince mother to buy a painting. Can we talk later? LUISA Come upstairs and join us for some champagne. Your mother, too. We're christening our new home. ANA How romantic. We shouldn't be long. (Ana moves away to the other area of the livingroom. Alberto and Luisa turn to exit as EDUARDO and FRANCISCO enter the room.) Time = 0100 EDUARDO Hello. Have you seen El Rolo? LUISA Juan Rameriz? EDUARDO Yes. LUISA Around the corner. EDUARDO Thank you. (Eduardo and Francisco move off slowly. Luisa and Alberto exit and enter the diningroom. (Eduardo waits til they are gone.) EDUARDO So you're clear on what we do? FRANCISCO I am. EDUARDO Because we only get one shot at it. FRANCISCO I'm perfectly aware of that. I'm not exactly a novice at this sort of thing. EDUARDO You're not? FRANCISCO At acting. EDUARDO That's right, your college theatricals. We have a much more demanding audience, I think. FRANCISCO I'll hold up my end. You just hold up yours. EDUARDO Spoken with your usual arrogance. Or is that the occupational hazard of the art critic? FRANCISCO It is simpler than that - what is usually called self-confidence. And you, an artist, should be the expert an arrogance. EDUARDO (ignoring this) I was thinking - maybe it would be better if we entered separately. FRANCISCO A little late to change the script, isn't it? EDUARDO If you entered first, just by a few minutes, then I could be surprised to see you. That would motivate my sudden irrational anger. FRANCISCO Someone as irrational as you doesn't need motivation. I don't care how we do it, as long as we get on with it. I have an engagement later tonight. EDUARDO You go first. I'll be in in a moment. FRANCISCO However you wish. (Leaving, Francisco turns to the audience:) He seems to think this is his idea. (Francisco moves into other area around the corner. Eduardo takes a deep breath and speaks to the audience:) EDUARDO If those who can, do; and those who can't, teach - where does that leave the art critic? I'm a collector of opinions about critics. "A critic," wrote Ambrose Bierce, " is a person who boasts himself hard to please - because nobody tries to please him." Or Shelley: "as the thief turns thief-taker in despair, so an unsuccessful author turns critic." Or in Francisco's case, the unsuccessful painter. And who was it who said: "it is much easier to be critical than to be correct"? Was that Disraeli? Well, I have many such quotations in my journal at home. I get great pleasure out of throwing mental barbs at critics, especially at MY critics - Francisco, in my short career, being one of the most brutal. But Francisco has an impeccable sense of irony. Why else would he have suggested a stunt such as this? I planned to attack him in earnest. Then I let him off the hook by suggesting a glorious duel! He refused to cooperate. He said a charade could be much more effective, especially if Guillermina were present to see it. He said in college he had been a playwright, he knew about such things. Audiences loved to be deceived, he said. So tonight will be a night filled with deception . . . I think I've given him enough time. Shall we . . .? Eduardo exits to the other area of the livingroom. [0330] ----- [0800] (Ana enters and stops before rounding the corner into the other area. She speaks to the audience.) ANA This is not the way the evening is supposed to be going. (She is thinking on her feet.) ANA Juan was skeptical that my plan would work but I insisted. All I had to do was convince mother to buy a painting. Which is easier said than done. If she refuses to -- well, someone has to, that's obvious enough, and if it isn't mother, then it's yours truly - except then Customs will stop me for sure. They always do. They expect me to be smuggling guns, something. That's my reputation, ever since I was in college. Of course, mother doesn't have a clue what's going on. And it's safer if mother buys the painting. I should have picked out something less irritable - but who would have known she'd loathe the painting like she does? It looks like a perfectly fine painting to me. One way another, we'll do what we have to do. The world will learn the truth about the death of Violeta Parra . . . (As she is stewing, Carmen and Eduardo enter the livingroom.) [0830] CARMEN Hello, dear. ANA Mother, are you all right? CARMEN Everything's under control. ANA Is he . . .? CARMEN He had a little temper tantrum, is all. We're fine now, aren't we? EDUARDO (letting Carmen call the shots) Yes. ANA I think we should buy the paintings and get out of here. CARMEN I have a bit of business to take care of first. Come along, you can watch the fun. ANA Mother? CARMEN Can we let her in on the secret? EDUARDO I am at your service, madam. Whatever you think is best. CARMEN Isn't he sweet? ANA Mother, what's going on? CARMEN The stabbing was a charade. ANA Seriously? But why? CARMEN To impress a woman. What else? EDUARDO But now he makes a fool of me even more. CARMEN You just hush about that. We who laugh last will laugh best, believe me. ANA Mother, do you know what you're doing? CARMEN Of course. I haven't had so much fun since I divorced your father. (She leads the way into the other area of the livingroom.) [0930] ----- (Time = 1200) (Alberto and Luisa come downstairs. They enter the first part of the livingroom, spying into the other area. If Juan and Ana are still there, Juan says, "We need to talk - I'll be with you in a moment" as he and Ana pass through on their way to the kitchen. If Juan and Ana are already gone, Alberto and Luisa watch Francisco in the other area.) (They see Francisco get up off the floor, stretch, etc.) ALBERTO Well, look what we have here . . . LUISA What does it mean? ALBERTO It means that somebody is up to something very interesting. LUISA Where's the policewoman? ALBERTO Your guess is as good as mine. LUISA He looks perfectly fine, doesn't he? ALBERTO He looks like he's enjoying himself. You know what this reminds me of? That play we saw a few years ago. The North American play about the jealous aging writer. LUISA Death Trap. ALBERTO Yes. Someone is pulling off a scene like in the play, don't you think? LUISA Perhaps so. The question is, why? It must have something to do with the crime the policewoman mentioned, whatever it is. Surely Juan is involved. ALBERTO Probably so. At least he'll be out of here tomorrow. LUISA I want to confront him tonight. ALBERTO Don't make waves, Luisa. The sooner all these people go their own way, the better. LUISA I want to get to the bottom of this. ALBERTO Let the police handle it. She told us to stay put upstairs, and I think that's where we belong. LUISA I'm going to find her. (Luisa starts away.) ALBERTO Luisa! (He speaks briefly to the audience:) ALBERTO Voltaire told us to tend our own gardens. I think he was right. (And he's following Luisa to the diningroom.) [1300] ---- Time = 1500 (Guillermina enters, pacing, nervous, wondering what to do next.) (Juan enters.) JUAN You look like I feel. GUILLERMINA I'm sorry this has turned into such a mess. JUAN I should've just shut it down all at once. GUILLERMINA I think you'd have sold her some paintings without all the rest happening. JUAN Maybe so, maybe not. GUILLERMINA There's nothing to salvage? She's still here, you know. JUAN She is? GUILLERMINA I saw Eduardo giving her the grand tour. I think they went upstairs. JUAN Do you think she's up to something? I mean, why the sudden interest in Eduardo? GUILLERMINA She said because he has so much passion. JUAN Doesn't make any sense to me. She strikes me as too refined to be impressed by romantic extremes. And too refined to be interested in his paintings. GUILLERMINA You know, I've been thinking - what if you offered her all the paintings you have left at an incredible bargain? It might appeal to her sense of getting away with something. JUAN Guillermina, you may have something there. I mean, what the hell else can I do with them? Half the artists have changed their address and dropped out of sight. GUILLERMINA And you have to vacate today. She might go for it. Nothing pleases the wealthy as much as getting a bargain. JUAN It's worth a try. I knew there was a reason I hired you. (He goes upstairs) [1600] (Guillermina speaks to the audience.) GUILLERMINA He hired me because I gave him the impression that a job was the door to seduction. Men are so predictable. (She returns to the other area of the livingroom.) ----- End of Living Room I script