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FADE IN:

SPEC SCRIPT WRITING

An annotated example

by Charles Deemer

 

 

 

FADE IN:

 

 

EXT. CITY - DAY

 

A SERIES OF SHOTS

 

City life.

 

--a clogged freeway at rush hour.

 

--a mall parking lot, full, cars roaming for a space.

 

--busy city streets. Buses, taxis.

 

 

EXT. MEDICAL CENTER - DAY

 

A full parking lot.

 

A public bus pulls up.

 

* Notice how stark and simple the writing style is. The camera, not the language here, will fill in the visual detail.  The screenwriter writes only the essentials, providing the imagery but not mentioning the camera (i.e. how the images are shot) at all. Particular images may be written in more detail IF they have important dramatic function but never with the detail of prose writing, nor with specific information about camera angles and such. You are writing a blueprint for a movie. Write crisply and cleanly.

 

 

INT. CLINIC - EXAM ROOM - DAY

 

EMIL COLLINS, 70s, buttons his shirt after an exam.

 

Sitting with him is his DOCTOR. He hands Emil a prescription.

 

                         DOCTOR

             I'm giving you stronger pain

             medication.

 

* Notice how the scene starts in the MIDDLE of an action. We begin at the point where the essential scene moment begins. We see a guy dressing, we see a doctor – we can figure out he just had an exam.

 

Emil takes the slip of paper.

 

                         EMIL

             Tell me straight, doc. How long?

 

                         DOCTOR

             In the best of worlds, three,

             four months.

 

                         EMIL

             In the worst?

 

                         DOCTOR

             I can get you in a hospice, Emil.

             You'd be more comfortable there.

                                                          

                         EMIL

             In other words, any time after I

             leave here. Does it come gradually

             or do I fall over?

 

                         DOCTOR

             It's impossible to predict

             something like this. I'll call

             you later this week about the

             hospice.

 

* Bam! we immediately know the situation here: Emil has a terminal illness with not long to live. We’re off and running from the get go.

 

 

INT. CLINIC - PHARMACY - DAY

 

Emil sits waiting for his prescription. Flipping through a

magazine.

 

* Notice you don’t have to write in complete sentences. Often fragments and dangling clauses are a screenwriter’s best friend.

 

WANDA, 50s, approaches.

 

                         WANDA

             Professor Collins?

 

Emil doesn't seem to recognize her.

 

                         WANDA

             Wanda McDonald. I took American

             Literature from you maybe fifteen

             years ago.

 

                         EMIL

                  (distant)

             How are you?

 

                         WANDA

             I'm fine. I want to tell you how

             much you changed my life. I was

             so scared coming back to school

             after so long. You inspired me to

             keep at it. You were so

             inspirational.

 

Emil looks embarrassed.

 

* Important background info about our protagonist. We SHOW IT by the meeting here.

 

                         EMIL

             Well, I'm going to assume you

             graduated then.

 

                         WANDA

             I went on and got my Masters. I

             teach American Lit at the

             community college. You're my

             model of what a teacher should be.

                                                           

                         VOICE ON SPEAKER

             Emil Collins.

 

Emil stands up. He still looks embarrassed.

 

                         EMIL

             I'm glad it all worked out.

 

He heads for the counter.

 

 

INT. CLINIC - FRONT DESK - DAY

 

Emil starts toward the exit. He carries a small bag. He

passes the front desk.

 

* Notice the use of simple sentences. Write so you can be easily skimmed. In the real world, scripts are skimmed before they are read carefully. Your script must invite “an easy read.” Text density is the enemy. This isn’t prose. This is the blueprint for a movie.

 

ROSE, 20s, the secretary, sees him.

 

                         ROSE

             No poetry today, Professor Collins?

 

Emil stops and turns.

 

                         EMIL

             I almost forgot. Here's one. "As

             long as you and I have arms and

             lips which are for kissing and to

             sing with, who cares if some one-

             eyed son-of-a-bitch invents an

             instrument to measure Spring

             with?" E.E. Cummings.

 

* Another revelation about our character. His love of poetry becomes very important later and sets up the ending of the story. Here, this seems to be just a character revelation but in fact we are setting up something much more important. Your scenes should have consequences.

 

                         ROSE

             Now my day's complete.

 

Rose smiles as Emil exits.

 

 

EXT. CLINIC - DAY

 

Emil emerges into a sun-bright day. He takes a deep breath.

 

He closes his eyes. Another deep breath.

 

 

INT. TAVERN - DAY

 

Emil at the bar with WALLY, 60s, a friend.

 

* An image, not a complete sentence.

 

                         WALLY

             That's terrible news!

 

* Again, we begin in the middle of the scene. An amateur would have Emil telling Wally about his trip to the doctor: but we already know that! Don’t bore us with what we already know.

                                                           

                         EMIL

             Sshh, I don't want the whole

             galaxy to know. It's not as bad

             as you think. I've lived a good

             life, and the world's going to

             hell in a hand basket. I'm ready

             to go.

 

                         WALLY

             Don't say that.

 

                         EMIL

             I just did.

 

                         WALLY

             What are you going to do?

 

                         EMIL

             That's what I've been thinking

             about. Maybe take a trip. I'm not

             sure.

 

* An important clue. This is exactly what he is going to do.

 

 

EXT. NEIGHBORHOOD - STREET - DAY

 

A bus pulls to the curb. Emil gets off.

 

 

EXT. NEIGHBORHOOD - RHODES HOUSE - DAY

 

Upper-end homes along a shaded street.

 

BILLY RHODES, teens, is mowing the front lawn.

 

Emil slowly approaches.

 

Billy turns off the lawn mower.

 

                         BILLY

             Hey, Gramps! How'd it go?

 

                         EMIL

             I've got the heart of a linebacker.

 

                         BILLY

             You should've called. I would've

             picked you up.

 

                         EMIL

             You would've, would you? How

             would you manage that?

 

                         BILLY

             I'd take Mom's car. It's not that

             far. And on the way back, you'd

             be in the car, so driving with my

             learner's permit would be legal.

 

                         EMIL

             Next time I have to get somewhere,

             I'll let you know.

 

* Billy is the 2nd most important character, and we introduce him as soon as we can. Also, the learner’s permit becomes important later. Billy will be Emil’s chauffeur on a trip to Idaho.

 

INT. RHODES HOUSE - DINING ROOM - NIGHT

 

The family around the dinner table: Besides Emil and Billy,

Emil's daughter MARTI and her husband, DON, both late 30s,

and Billy's older sister, SARA, 19.

 

                         MARTI

             What did the doctor have to say,

             Dad?

 

                         EMIL

             I have the heart of a marathon

             runner.

 

                         BILLY

             And a linebacker.

 

                         EMIL

                  (winking at him)

             That, too.

 

                         MARTI

             Your blood pressure's good?

             Nothing out of order?

 

                         EMIL

             Everything's out of order. It's

             called old age.

 

                         MARTI

             I'm allowed to worry about you.

 

                         DON

                  (to Marti)

             Change of subject. Are you

             telling her or am I?

 

                         SARA

             Telling me what?

 

* Two things are happening here: we meet the rest of the family, who become important when Emil and Billy disappear on their trip; and we set up (in what follows) the parents’ taking a week vacation, leaving the teenage daughter in charge, which will make it easy for Emil and Billy to escape. Every moment has consequences; every moment sets up something to follow. Everything fits together like pieces in a jigsaw puzzle. At the same time, the story must flow forward naturally, so that all of this architecture is invisible, hidden by our interest in the characters and story. The screenwriter is like a magician. You are building a trick but you don’t want the audience to see how you do it.