SPEC SCRIPT WRITING
An annotated
example
by
Charles Deemer
FADE IN:
EXT. CITY -
DAY
A SERIES OF
SHOTS
City life.
--a clogged
freeway at rush hour.
--a mall
parking lot, full, cars roaming for a space.
--busy city
streets. Buses, taxis.
EXT. MEDICAL
CENTER - DAY
A full
parking lot.
A public bus
pulls up.
* Notice
how stark and simple the writing style is. The camera, not the language here,
will fill in the visual detail. The
screenwriter writes only the essentials, providing the imagery but not
mentioning the camera (i.e. how the images are shot) at all. Particular images
may be written in more detail IF they have important dramatic function but
never with the detail of prose writing, nor with specific information about
camera angles and such. You are writing a blueprint for a movie. Write crisply
and cleanly.
INT. CLINIC -
EXAM ROOM - DAY
EMIL COLLINS,
70s, buttons his shirt after an exam.
Sitting with
him is his DOCTOR. He hands Emil a prescription.
DOCTOR
I'm giving you stronger pain
medication.
* Notice
how the scene starts in the MIDDLE of an action. We begin at the point where
the essential scene moment begins. We see a guy dressing, we see a doctor – we
can figure out he just had an exam.
Emil takes
the slip of paper.
EMIL
Tell me straight, doc. How long?
DOCTOR
In the best of worlds, three,
four months.
EMIL
In the worst?
DOCTOR
I can get you in a hospice, Emil.
You'd be more comfortable there.
EMIL
In other words, any time after I
leave here. Does it come
gradually
or do I fall over?
DOCTOR
It's impossible to predict
something like this. I'll call
you later this week about the
hospice.
* Bam! we
immediately know the situation here: Emil has a terminal illness with not long
to live. We’re off and running from the get go.
INT. CLINIC -
PHARMACY - DAY
Emil sits
waiting for his prescription. Flipping through a
magazine.
* Notice
you don’t have to write in complete sentences. Often fragments and dangling
clauses are a screenwriter’s best friend.
WANDA, 50s,
approaches.
WANDA
Professor Collins?
Emil doesn't
seem to recognize her.
WANDA
Wanda McDonald. I took American
Literature from you maybe fifteen
years ago.
EMIL
(distant)
How are you?
WANDA
I'm fine. I want to tell you how
much you changed my life. I was
so scared coming back to school
after so long. You inspired me to
keep at it. You were so
inspirational.
Emil looks
embarrassed.
* Important
background info about our protagonist. We SHOW IT by the meeting here.
EMIL
Well, I'm going to assume you
graduated then.
WANDA
I went on and got my Masters. I
teach American Lit at the
community college. You're my
model of what a teacher should
be.
VOICE ON SPEAKER
Emil Collins.
Emil stands
up. He still looks embarrassed.
EMIL
I'm glad it all worked out.
He heads for
the counter.
INT. CLINIC -
FRONT DESK - DAY
Emil starts
toward the exit. He carries a small bag. He
passes the
front desk.
* Notice
the use of simple sentences. Write so you can be easily skimmed. In the real
world, scripts are skimmed before they are read carefully. Your script must
invite “an easy read.” Text density is the enemy. This isn’t prose. This is the
blueprint for a movie.
ROSE, 20s,
the secretary, sees him.
ROSE
No poetry today, Professor
Collins?
Emil stops
and turns.
EMIL
I almost forgot. Here's one.
"As
long as you and I have arms and
lips which are for kissing and to
sing with, who cares if some one-
eyed son-of-a-bitch invents an
instrument to measure Spring
with?" E.E. Cummings.
* Another
revelation about our character. His love of poetry becomes very important later
and sets up the ending of the story. Here, this seems to be just a character
revelation but in fact we are setting up something much more important. Your
scenes should have consequences.
ROSE
Now my day's complete.
Rose smiles
as Emil exits.
EXT. CLINIC -
DAY
Emil emerges
into a sun-bright day. He takes a deep breath.
He closes his
eyes. Another deep breath.
INT. TAVERN -
DAY
Emil at the
bar with WALLY, 60s, a friend.
* An
image, not a complete sentence.
WALLY
That's terrible news!
* Again,
we begin in the middle of the scene. An amateur would have Emil telling Wally
about his trip to the doctor: but we already know that! Don’t bore us with what
we already know.
EMIL
Sshh, I don't want the whole
galaxy to know. It's not as bad
as you think. I've lived a good
life, and the world's going to
hell in a hand basket. I'm ready
to go.
WALLY
Don't say that.
EMIL
I just did.
WALLY
What are you going to do?
EMIL
That's what I've been thinking
about. Maybe take a trip. I'm not
sure.
* An
important clue. This is exactly what he is going to do.
EXT.
NEIGHBORHOOD - STREET - DAY
A bus pulls
to the curb. Emil gets off.
EXT.
NEIGHBORHOOD - RHODES HOUSE - DAY
Upper-end
homes along a shaded street.
BILLY RHODES,
teens, is mowing the front lawn.
Emil slowly
approaches.
Billy turns
off the lawn mower.
BILLY
Hey, Gramps! How'd it go?
EMIL
I've got the heart of a
linebacker.
BILLY
You should've called. I would've
picked you up.
EMIL
You would've, would you? How
would you manage that?
BILLY
I'd take Mom's car. It's not that
far. And on the way back, you'd
be in the car, so driving with my
learner's permit would be legal.
EMIL
Next time I have to get
somewhere,
I'll let you know.
* Billy is
the 2nd most important character, and we introduce him as soon as we
can. Also, the learner’s permit becomes important later. Billy will be Emil’s
chauffeur on a trip to Idaho.
INT. RHODES
HOUSE - DINING ROOM - NIGHT
The family
around the dinner table: Besides Emil and Billy,
Emil's
daughter MARTI and her husband, DON, both late 30s,
and Billy's
older sister, SARA, 19.
MARTI
What did the doctor have to say,
Dad?
EMIL
I have the heart of a marathon
runner.
BILLY
And a linebacker.
EMIL
(winking at him)
That, too.
MARTI
Your blood pressure's good?
Nothing out of order?
EMIL
Everything's out of order. It's
called old age.
MARTI
I'm allowed to worry about you.
DON
(to Marti)
Change of subject. Are you
telling her or am I?
SARA
Telling me what?
* Two things are
happening here: we meet the rest of the family, who become important when Emil
and Billy disappear on their trip; and we set up (in what follows) the parents’
taking a week vacation, leaving the teenage daughter in charge, which will make
it easy for Emil and Billy to escape. Every moment has consequences; every
moment sets up something to follow. Everything fits together like pieces in a
jigsaw puzzle. At the same time, the story must flow forward naturally, so that
all of this architecture is invisible, hidden by our interest in the characters
and story. The screenwriter is like a magician. You are building a trick but
you don’t want the audience to see how you do it.