Here is what Kelly wrote:
INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY
A room in chaos. Boxes everywhere, newspapers scattered
across the floor.
In the center of the chaos, JAN, 20, sorts through a pile of
CDs. She tosses some in a box and sets others aside.
She looks out the front window as a car enters the driveway.
Her eyes move to the clock on the mantel.
BRUCE, 21, enters the room, nearly tripping over a box.
JAN
I thought you weren't going to be
home till 6.
BRUCE
I skipped rehearsal.
JAN
But we agreed --
BRUCE
It's my apartment too.
Jan walks to a bookcase and grabs a handful of books.
Bruce steps over to an open box and looks inside. Pulls out a
book and holds it up.
BRUCE
Three Pillars of Zen? This is mine.
JAN
You gave it to me. Said you were
through with Eastern philosophy.
She drops her load of books into the box and turns back to
the shelf.
JAN
Keep it if you want. I'll buy my
own copy.
Bruce drops the book back in the box.
BRUCE
Read all the Buddhism you want.
You'll never wake up.
He disappears into the kitchen.
JAN
And you'll never grow up.
Bruce reappears in the doorway, holding a beer.
BRUCE
Everything I ever wanted to know I
learned in kindergarten.
JAN
I thought that was cute the first
time you said it. I didn't know you
were serious.
She seals a box with packing tape and severs the tape with a
knife.
JAN
I'll finish this tomorrow while
you're at the theater.
She gets her purse from the couch and heads toward the front
door.
JAN
Break a leg.
This is first-class screenwriting. Crisp, clean, showing rather than telling. Great dialogue ("Read all the Buddhism you want. You'll never wake up." is terrific), meaningful action.
The only two things I would change are, first, this line: "She looks out the front window as a car enters the driveway." I'd write it this way: "She looks out the front window. A car enters the driveway." Not only do we write more simply but we isolate the car, inviting a POV shot without crossing the line into directing the movie. If you want to invite this even more (i.e. do it! do it!), you could give the car its own paragraph.
Also, after Bruce leaves there should be a line about Jan to fill the time it takes for him to grab a beer.
1/03