Phone Plays: an exercise in dialogue

There's a playwriting exercise that is good for learning how to write tight, forward-driving dialogue: writing the 3-minute phone play. These are plays that take place on the phone. A complete story has to be told in three minutes or less.

Most movie scenes, of course, are far under three minutes! This is not an exercise for writing talky film scenes but rather an exercise that will help your ability to establish story and character in dialogue very quickly.

Try a few 3-minute phone plays on your own. Here are four examples of mine.



THE RANSOM

(SUE and MIKE. Phone rings.)
		
		SUE
	Hello?
		
		MIKE
	This is Mike. It's a done 
	deal. They got the money. 
	You bring the kid to the 
	south parking lot at 
	Safeway at midnight -- 
	that's the side where the 
	Les Schwab tire place is. 
	They'll be a tan Toyota van 
	parked. It'll be open. The 
	money will be in a tote bag 
	in the back. You take the 
	money, leave the kid. 
	There'll be someone 
	watching, of course. Count 
	the money before you leave 
	... suppose to be 
	two-hundred grand.
		
		SUE
	Two-hundred thousand 
	dollars?
		
		MIKE
	Joe got every penny, ain't 
	that somethin'?
		
		SUE
	Joe?
		
		MIKE
	Yeah. Didn't he tell you I 
	was going to call?
		
		SUE
	Who is this?
		
		MIKE
	Mike. Joe was supposed to 
	tell you I was going to 
	call.
		
		SUE
	Are we talking about Joe 
	Montgomery?
		
		MIKE
	Shit. Who is this?
		
		SUE
	Sue Eliot.
		
		MIKE
	Oh shit.
		
		SUE
	You have the wrong number.
		
		MIKE
	Damn. Listen, I didn't mean 
	anything, it's just, you 
	know, this little game we 
	play--
		
		SUE
	I understand.
		
		MIKE
	This isn't true.
		
		SUE
	I understand.
		
		MIKE
	What'd you say your name 
	was?
		
		SUE
	Sue Eliot.
		
		MIKE
	Oh shit. You're the TV 
	anchor, right?
		
		SUE
	Right.
		
		MIKE
	Damn. You probably think 
	you got a hell of a story 
	here.
		
		SUE
	It crossed my mind.
		
		MIKE
	This ain't real. I belong 
	to this club, see, and what 
	we do is, we play-act 
	different kinds of crime 
	and all, you know, it's 
	like being in a movie or 
	something.
		
		SUE
	I see.
		
		MIKE
	It's no different than 
	those guys who put on 
	camouflage and go out in 
	the woods and fight a war, 
	you know? We get a kick out 
	of it.
		
		SUE
	I bet you do. So, we'll see 
	you at Safeway at midnight 
	then? Or won't you be 
	there?
		
		MIKE
	No, you can't be there!
		
		SUE
	Will anyone be available 
	for an interview?
		
		MIKE
	You definitely can't be 
	there, lady! It ain't safe!
		
		SUE
	It's just a game, you said.
		
		MIKE
	It is! The thing is ...
		
		SUE
	The thing is what?
		
		MIKE
	Ah ... we use real bullets.
		
		SUE
	I see.
		
		MIKE
	It's dangerous!
		
		SUE
	I'll bring back-up.
		
		MIKE
	No! Shit.
		
		SUE
	See you there.
		
		MIKE
	Damn.

(CLICK, as Sue hangs up. Dial tone.)
		
		MIKE
	Shit.

(The play is over.)


CAREERS



(DOUG, AL, CLIFFORD, and MARY. 
Conference call.)
		
		CLIFFORD
	We're all here, let's 
	begin. 
		
		MARY
	May I say something first?
		
		CLIFFORD
	We've got a lot to cover in 
	a short amount of time, 
	Mary.
		
		MARY
	This is relevant.
		
		CLIFFORD
	Can it wait til the 
	questions afterwards?
		
		MARY
	It affects how we proceed.
		
		CLIFFORD
	Christ, Mary, we had two 
	goddamn weeks of meetings 
	on procedure. Everybody 
	agreed that--
		
		MARY
	I've been offered a job by 
	WebTech.

(Pause. Sound of deep breathing.)
		
		DOUG
	That's really funny.
		
		AL
	I've been talking to her 
	all morning, guys. I think 
	her mind is made up.
		
		CLIFFORD
	How long have you known 
	this is coming?
		
		MARY
	A month.
		
		CLIFFORD
	And you still participated, 
	you still pretended you 
	were on the team. You 
	unethical bitch.
		
		MARY
	I didn't expect they'd 
	offer anything this 
	attractive.
		
		DOUG
	So you're saying they did.
		
		MARY
	500, stock options.
		
		DOUG
	500!
		
		CLIFFORD
	Get the hell off the line.
		
		MARY
	I haven't accepted anything 
	yet.
		
		CLIFFORD
	You're going to turn down 
	500?
		
		MARY
	Tell them, Al.
		
		AL
	She has a condition to 
	stay.
		
		CLIFFORD
	Naturally. Maybe she'll 
	grace us with what it is.
		
		MARY
	I love it when you talk to 
	me in the third person.
		
		CLIFFORD
	We can't meet 500, Mary.
		
		MARY
	Your job.
		
		CLIFFORD
	What?
		
		MARY
	400 and your job.

(Doug laughs.)
		
		AL
	What's so funny?
		
		DOUG
	Cliff, you gonna tell her 
	or should I?
		
		CLIFFORD
	I wouldn't miss this for 
	the world.
		
		MARY
	Tell me what?
		
		AL
	What the hell's going on?
		
		CLIFFORD
	WebTech is being bought by 
	NetCentral.
		
		MARY
	They told me that.
		
		CLIFFORD
	NetCentral is being bought 
	by Wireless.
		
		MARY
	So what?
		
		CLIFFORD
	We're buying Wireless.
		
		AL
	Holy Christ.
		
		CLIFFORD
	You still work for me, 
	Mary.

(Doug laughs.)
		
		CLIFFORD
	Now what were you saying 
	about wanting a raise?

(Pause: then CLICK.)
		
		AL
	Mary?
		
		DOUG
	I think she left us.
		
		CLIFFORD
	Now, can we get on with the 
	meeting?

(End.)


THE NAKED TRUTH

(STEVE and HEATHER. Phone rings.)
		
		STEVE
	Hello?
		
		HEATHER
	This is Heather.
		
		STEVE
	I'm hanging up.
		
		HEATHER
	No! Please!
		
		STEVE
	You're not supposed to call 
	me.
		
		HEATHER
	I know, just give me two 
	minutes.
		
		STEVE
	I have a restraining order.
		
		HEATHER
	Two minutes is all I ask.
		
		STEVE
	You've had two minutes ten 
	times over. You've had--
		
		HEATHER
	Just listen to me! Then 
	I'll hang up. I promise.
		
		STEVE
	I'm timing you.
		
		HEATHER
	I thought you'd be 
	flattered.
		
		STEVE
	What?
		
		HEATHER
	It was supposed to be like 
	a present.
		
		STEVE
	Are you crazy?
		
		HEATHER
	I thought you'd like it!
		
		STEVE
	Jesus.
		
		HEATHER
	It was meant as flattery.
		
		STEVE
	What's flattering about 
	getting my ass bared in 
	front of a million people?
		
		HEATHER
	Their circulation is no 
	where near that.
		
		STEVE
	How many then?
		
		HEATHER
	I don't know. A few hundred 
	thousand, I guess.
		
		STEVE
	Seeing me nude!
		
		HEATHER
	You're so vain, I thought 
	you'd love it!
		
		STEVE
	I hate it! I am not vain!
		
		HEATHER
	You wanted me to take a 
	picture of you naked!
		
		STEVE
	For private consumption!
		
		HEATHER
	Private who? Your mother 
	wanted a copy?
		
		STEVE
	I thought YOU might like a 
	copy!
		
		HEATHER
	Why the hell would I want a 
	copy?
		
		STEVE
	When you go on a trip or 
	something, so you can 
	remember me.
		
		HEATHER
	And that's not vanity?
		
		STEVE
	It's just something I 
	thought of. It wasn't 
	supposed to be a big deal.
		
		HEATHER
	The point is, as far as I 
	was concerned, if you 
	wanted a nude photograph 
	taken, then why not flaunt 
	it, so to speak? 
		
		STEVE
	It's embarrassing.
		
		HEATHER
	Women love it. You know 
	you're a hunk.
		
		STEVE
	I'm talking about what the 
	guys think.
		
		HEATHER
	I see. It's a guy thing.
		
		STEVE
	Putting my naked picture in 
	Playgirl is not flattery! 
	Okay?
		
		HEATHER
	Okay. You didn't have to 
	get a restraining order.
		
		STEVE
	What else was I supposed to 
	do? You keep bugging me.
		
		HEATHER
	I want you to understand 
	that it was meant as a 
	present.
		
		STEVE
	It wasn't even my birthday.
		
		HEATHER
	It was our anniversary.
		
		STEVE
	It was?
		
		HEATHER
	Of the first time we made 
	love.
		
		STEVE
	No.
		
		HEATHER
	Yes. You forgot.
		
		STEVE
	I can't remember 
	everything!
		
		HEATHER
	I'm sorry you didn't take 
	it in the spirit in which 
	it was intended.
		
		STEVE
	I'm sorry, too.

(A pause.)
		
		STEVE
	You think women like it?
		
		HEATHER
	I know they do.
		
		STEVE
	Who in particular for 
	instance?
		
		HEATHER
	Bye, Steve.
		
		STEVE
	Wait a minute.
		
		HEATHER
	I am not your pimp!

(CLICK. The end.)



CRISIS LINE

(JUDY and MATT. JUDY answers phone.)
		
		JUDY
	Crisis line.
		
		MATT
	Marry me.
		
		JUDY
	Matt. I'm working.
		
		MATT
	Marry me.
		
		JUDY
	What are you doing?
		
		MATT
	I'm asking you to marry me.
		
		JUDY
	I'm at work, you're taking 
	up the line here!
		
		MATT
	Marry me.
		
		JUDY
	I'm going to hang up.
		
		MATT
	Marry me.
		
		JUDY
	This isn't fair.
		
		MATT
	Just say Yes.
		
		JUDY
	Can we talk about it later?
		
		MATT
	Marry me.
		
		JUDY
	I'm hanging up.
		
		MATT
	I don't want you to hang 
	up.
		
		JUDY
	Why are you doing this?
		
		MATT
	Asking you to marry me? I 
	love you, for God's sake.
		
		JUDY
	Calling me at work! You're 
	taking up the line! 
	Somebody might be suicidal 
	and not able to get through 
	because of you!

(Pause.)
		
		JUDY
	Matt, I'm hanging up.
		
		MATT
	Wait!
		
		JUDY
	What?
		
		MATT
	I have cancer.
		
		JUDY
	That's sick.
		
		MATT
	Yeah, it is.
		
		JUDY
	You know what I mean.
		
		MATT
	I'm serious.
		
		JUDY
	Right.
		
		MATT
	That's why I want to get 
	married sooner rather than 
	later.
		
		JUDY
	Matt, this isn't funny.
		
		MATT
	Did I say it's funny?
		
		JUDY
	Matt, if this is a joke 
	...?

(Pause.)
		
		JUDY
	Oh, Jesus ...
		
		MATT
	Marry me. 
		
		JUDY
	Matt ...
		
		MATT
	Just say Yes.
		
		JUDY
	When did you find out?
		
		MATT
	One step at a time. Marry 
	me.
		
		JUDY
	Yes, yes. Do you want me to 
	see if I can get off early?
		
		MATT
	No. I'm hanging up. I just 
	wanted you to say Yes.
		
		JUDY
	Yes.
		
		MATT
	I'll see you after work.
		
		JUDY
	Oh, Matt ... I'm so sorry.
		
		MATT
	You said Yes. You made my 
	day! I don't want to take 
	up the line. I'll see you 
	after work.
		
		JUDY
	You're sure you're okay?
		
		MATT
	Never been better. I love 
	you.

(CLICK.)
		
		JUDY
	I love you.

(Too late. CLICK. Pause. Ring.)
		
		JUDY
	Crisis line ...

(End.)

7/00