jonathan's comments inspired me to go ahead with this report. i was
trying to get the parker's menu scanned for this report, but the
fellow
around here with the scanner is sorta unconcerned with getting his
scanner client installed. somehow, the deadwood get all the toys.
sweetums and i were visiting my brother's family in the rocky mount
suburb of nashville a few weeks back, with the intention of locating
some bbq. a quick run-down of the options indicated the best available
would be from longtime local star bob melton's, located on the tar
river. my previous experience with melton's had been much less than
satisfactory, about the same as bullocks. we surmised that the twenty
mile trip to wilson might be in order, but were at a loss as to
just
where we should go.
this question was resolved be a quick call to alec vance, who, with
all
good-natured dispatch, scanned his bbq database and produced two
suggested destinations. we picked the more well known parker's,
which
has been in business since 1946.
parker's bbq is located between wilson and lucama on us301 in a long,
low-slung, white clapboard building. there are three main dining
rooms
that together seat about three hundred. the tables are of the long,
formica-topped, heavy oak construction more commonly seen in old
schoolhouses and seat about eight people each in heavy oak chairs.
upon entering the restaurant, one immediately notices that even with
well-soled shoes, one's feet slip around on the greasy, rubberized
floor. one is advised of the high correlation between greasy floors
and
the probability of unsanitary bathrooms. parker's is another datum
in
that basis.
upon entering the restaurant, one is 'greeted' by a feller in a white
folded paper cap, handed menus, and pointed at a dining room with
available space. in fact, all the personnel on premises will be
dressed
in all white and wearing folded paper caps. anyway, one enters the
dining room of one's appointment and situates oneself at the first
available table, which will not have been cleared of the previous
diners' residual debris.
on a weekend night, parker's will be crammed to the gills with locals,
most of whom appear over sixty years of age. it's not a pretty sight,
but a very real one. most everyone in wilson has country ham and
eggs
for breakfast everyday and looks like they've been doing so all
their
lives. most everyone in wilson smokes and looks like they've been
doing
so all their lives. be prepared for an atmosphere almost as oppresive
as
any chapel hill club.
on a weekend night, parker's will be crammed to the gills with locals,
and one will wait long and hard for service. this might could affect
one's life-long decision: "plate or family-style?" eventually, one
will
be visited upon by a waiter. all parker's personnel not manning
a cash
register are male. that is, all male parker's personnel appear to
have
been swept through a time warp from the 1965 edition of the james
baxter
hunt high school varsity basketball squad. these guys are all a
minimum
of six feet in height, deathly skinny, and have crew cuts that are
apparently touched up daily. they all look related, too. but then,
i
look related to everyone sitting at my table, and in fact, i am!
if one is unwise enough to order family style, one will be served,
in a
matter of time, with a bowl of bbq about big enough for one person;
similar sized bowls of brunswick stew, boiled potatoes, and slaw;
a
plate of hush puppies and cornsticks; and a humongous plate stacked
with
fried chicken. the menu states that everyone at the table must order
family style in order to be so served. but upon inquiry, an exception
was made for our table, and one of our party was allowed to order
a
shore platter of flounder, shrimp, and oysters.
there's not much to say about the food at parker's other than the
bbq.
it is all singularly mediocre. the pups are vanilla, the sticks
are cold
and greasy, the potatoes overcooked in bbq sauce, the fish is dry
and
'country' breaded, and the chicken is grossly greasy. the brunswick
stew
is properly peppery but sort of soupy and otherwise not very tasty.
the
best side was the slaw which, although overly shredded and thereby
not
so crunchy as its freshness suggested it might could be, has a pleasant
sweetness, is not overly dressed, and has a subtle blend of herbs
and
spices including traces of crushed mustard, poppy, and celery seeds.
the data are starting to suggest a high correlation between shitty
sides
and proper pig. i'm starting to think that the way to go would be
for
someone who knows how to make sides to team up with someone how
knows
how to make 'cue, just the way a good pig pickin depends on lotsa
people
bringing complementary covered dishes.
anyway, the bbq at parker's is -very- good. the meat is permeated
with
just enough chili and smoke. it is just a tad drier than one would
hope,
and maybe a spot greasier, too, but these variations could be wholly
attributable to the hog itself. there are bits of fat mixed in and
it is
just a bit overchopped. i've had better bbq in restaurants, but
parker's
is a fine specimen of down east 'cue. if the slight deficiencies
were
corrected, i could see clear to a 3.5 rating. anything above a 3
outta
make one's week and make one happy, giving one much to talk about
and
reflect over repeatedly. as such, i give it 3.23 pigs.
o, and there was no music being played inside, although we listened
to
barney and comfy couch tapes in the van on the way to and fro.
3.2.3