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Current Issue: September 2002

News Briefs

- Fast Food Coalition Warning: Fat People Likely to Bitch by Saurabh Gombar

- Lance Bass No Longer Traveling to Space by Saurabh Gombar

- Battle in the Streets by Professor S.W.

- Creators of Stephen Hawking’s Dance Party Upset By Sales by Jake Goldman

- UNC Schedules Entire Basketball Season Over Spring Break by Greg Steffensen

- Affirmative Action Now Applies to the Stupid by Jake Goldman

- Cannibalistic Student Has Trouble Finding Roommate by Jake Goldman

Features

- Moeser's Master Muslim Plan by Michael Carlton

- UNC Freshmen Convert to Islam En Masse by Greg Steffensen

Entrails

- Penetrating God's Loophole by Michael Carlton

- A Gastrointestinal Dialogue by Professor S.W.

- A Philosopher’s Laundromat by Chris Childers

- Syllabus of Doom by Jake Goldman

- Gimghoul Revealed by Lauren Turner

- A Crapella by Cara Davidson

Specials

- Birth of a Satirist by Chase Campbell