- Fast Food Coalition Warning: Fat People Likely to Bitch by Saurabh Gombar
- Lance Bass No Longer Traveling to Space by Saurabh Gombar
- Battle in the Streets by Professor S.W.
- Creators of Stephen Hawking’s Dance Party Upset By Sales by Jake Goldman
- UNC Schedules Entire Basketball Season Over Spring Break by Greg Steffensen
- Affirmative Action Now Applies to the Stupid by Jake Goldman
- Cannibalistic Student Has Trouble Finding Roommate by Jake Goldman
- Moeser's Master Muslim Plan by Michael Carlton
- UNC Freshmen Convert to Islam En Masse by Greg Steffensen
- Penetrating God's Loophole by Michael Carlton
- A Gastrointestinal Dialogue by Professor S.W.
- A Philosopher’s Laundromat by Chris Childers
- Syllabus of Doom by Jake Goldman
- Gimghoul Revealed by Lauren Turner
- A Crapella by Cara Davidson
- Birth of a Satirist by Chase Campbell
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