looking ahead…

December 25, 2006 on 10:50 pm | In peeps, tech stoof | No Comments

so, what started out not really feeling like christmas has come more in line with years past.  we’ve got to be up early in the morning to take my dad to duke for a thyroid biopsy, and though he didn’t say much, i know he’s been worrying about it most of the day.  get that, his radiation treatments, and my mom’s knee replacement out of the way and they’ll be in pretty good shape – and i’ll have what i want for christmas.  their health back.

their new tivo box has stood the true usability test – my mom is using it to record shows, then navigate through them without throwing the remote through the screen.  it has already racked up several hours’ worth of recorded content.  i hope they’ll use it.

facing forward, i’ll offer my short-term (and long-term) goals for the new year at work:

  1. www1 back into the cluster.  almost done here.  a couple of minors changes to the netapp and we’ll be in good shape to put this box into rotation.
  2. mod_security semaphore insanity cleaned up on our www nodes.  a simple line to the httpd scripts should fix this but i want to test test test before we put it into production on our main web site.
  3. hash_limit rules added to our LVS firewall scripts.  simon says this is simple.  simon is almost always right.  i hope this isn’t one of the “almost” instances.
  4. janice as a replacement box for our aging login server.  4 CPUs and small disks make it a home run here.
  5. hardware upgrades for music, mirrors, and distro.  have one server lined up here, but will need more.
  6. VCL, VCL, VCL.  talking with the zen q/a guy about possibilities here, in addition to meeting with the VCL folks in january.  i’m thinking about this for the possibilities of resurrecting public.ibiblio.org, the totally automated, anyone-can-contribute library.  very, very exciting if it works out.

slight wastes of time…

December 6, 2006 on 8:59 pm | In peeps | No Comments
  • having a friend invite me over to his place to hang out, then not answer his phone when i get there.  good thing i knew his WEP password (i set it).  i hung out on the stairwell for a while, then left.
  • trader joe’s.  what was all the hype about?  why was it so packed, with empty shelves?  it was about half of a whole foods, and could fit in a corner of southern season.  and whole foods and southern season actually import food and sell it.  nearly everything on the shelf was “trader joe’s” brand – i didn’t examine anything to see whether the food was actually canned in nebraska or somewhere equally non-exotic.
  • the 36-page document i read today on NFS client performance under Linux when using a particular device for primary storage.  executive summary:  buy more RAM.

in better news, my mom scheduled her knee replacement surgery for the end of february.  by that time my dad’s incisions from his aneurysm surgery should have completely healed, and he should just about be done with the radiation treatments for his prostate cancer.  as he said today, if they keep going to duke, eventually they’ll be healthy again.

blessings in disguise

November 22, 2006 on 1:24 pm | In peeps, ramblings | No Comments
  • i was kind of freaking out because my roommate moved out, but i’m now able to relax in peace and quiet at home.
  • my dad had a CT for prostate surgery, and it uncovered a potentially fatal aortic aneuryism – which has now been operated on and sewn back up
  • my pastor’s position is being cut, but hopefully having to leave will steer him and his family towards a more nurturing environment, though the transition will be tough on such short notice.
  • i was grumbling about losing last weekend to having 5 house guests while being on call, but i had a blast and made some new friends in the process. i can’t wait to see them in richmond in a couple weeks for samira’s birthday.

alone.

November 4, 2006 on 3:15 pm | In peeps, rants | No Comments

listening to thomas datt’s “alone” whilst lifting weights is paying off. after a slightly harried week at work i’m spending a wonderful sunny saturday afternoon on my couch, watching the world through the patio door. my place is a little junked up as my roommate is packing to move out, but in the long run i think i’m going to be much happier.

his empty, to-be-packed boxes are piled up beneath the painting that my grandmother gave me, the painting he told me looked “tacky.” beneath the boxes is the area rug my mom picked out, the one he told me was “heinous.” by my front door, his stinky golf shoes sit in my getabako next to the pair of adidas i just bought, the ones he told me made him “so glad that i finally bought a pair of shoes that are fashionable.” he’s more than doubling his living expenses to move into an apartment complex built in the 30s that has baseboard heat and no A/C, but i hope he’ll be happier there than he has been here in my “crappy little place” (again, his words). it will be nice to be able to come home and relax, rather than walking on eggshells lest any side comment i make give him more ammunition to criticize me or my clothes or my place or the way i’ve decorated it.

i’ll miss the friend i had up to, maybe, three months ago, but i won’t miss the person i know today. so the trick is to try to remember what our friendship used to be, and forget the rest. never a simple trick for me.

woe is me…

October 24, 2006 on 7:48 pm | In peeps, rants | No Comments

…or more accurately, when it rains it pours.  in the past few days:

  • my dad found out he has a 2″-3″ aneurysm in his aorta, and they want to operate immediately
  • my roommate told me he is moving out, and i *hate* being alone in my place at night
  • we’ve had hours-long outages for a high-profile site at work, due to a totally unecessary and recurrent reason
  • the weather is getting colder, my skin is getting drier, and it’s getting dark way earlier.  whine whine whine

my dad should be fine, though he’s going to stew over every bit of his treatments.  they’ve opted to do radiation instead of chemotherapy or surgery for his cancer, which is good.  they found the aneurysm, so they can take care of it, which is good.  weird part:  if i understand my dad correctly, and my dad understands the doctors and his medical charts correctly, they knew he had the aneurysm and told him about it four years ago when he had his open heart surgery.  i hope i don’t understand him correctly.

on a brighter note, i love my job more than ever.  it pays well, it’s rewarding, the people are smart and fun and interesting.  now if i could get my life outside of work into the same lane, i’d be in good shape!  i think selling my place in cary may be a good first step – i can reclaim nearly two hours of my day if i can get rid of that damned commute.  i might even be able to use that extra time to take organ lessons from the University, and be able to practice again.  i’ve got to find a place back in chapel hill…

more ketchin’ up

October 16, 2006 on 10:10 am | In organ, peeps | No Comments

i’m currently recovering from a whirlwind weekend of old college friends, weddings, disasters resulting from weddings, and reminders of a life gone by. samira and her friend justin came for matt carroll’s wedding, steve’s brother jeff was in town to “visit” (i’m so southern) and go to football games and state fairs, and sunday was homecoming at the orphanage.

observations:

  • pre-digital electronic organs are painful to everyone, not just the organists behind the console and the musicians in the congregation
  • i can play praise songs by ear, segue into a traditional hymn, and continue into an appropriate offering — all in Gb and on 4 hours of sleep.
  • one can be close to a couple for literally years and not pick up on things they try to cover up, as long as they keep things covered well enough. my jaw hit the floor several times saturday night but i am grateful that this person trusted me enough to open up to me, and consider me a source of support. i can’t believe what she’s been through, all without anyone to help her, or even anyone to listen.
  • civil disobedience pays. the alma mater, one of the few traditions left at my church, was cut from this year’s homecoming ceremony. feeling more allegiance to the 100 or so alumni in attendance than to the people who made the decision to cut the song from the service, i dutifully played it for the postlude. several people stopped me after church and told me they wish the alma mater had been announced, as they would have liked it sung. i’m glad that anyone even noticed.

in other news, work is calming down. the server moves went well and not-so-well, ranging from tidy and efficient to glacial and totally bungled, but in any case they’re done for the most part. we’ve spent the past few weeks tracking down problems resulting from the upheaval, and i’ve spent the better part of last week ironing out the last of the leftover configuration problems. next up are slightly more aggressive system changes, but now we have the luxury of taking them one at a time, once we’ve had the opportunity to think things through and plan thoroughly. hopefully we won’t be flying by the seat of our pants again for quite some time.

personal life. i have had almost none. i hope to have more of one now that i’m not working every hour that i’m awake. why do i only like people who are jerks to me? why can’t i be happy with what is available to me? why can’t i just pick up and move to florida or california, marry into money and be a kept man? i’m not giving up hope on that one just yet.
in any case, i’m always happy to have friends in town, or go stay with friends out of town, because it reminds me that i do have friends. i have friends here, of course, but none with whom i am particularly close or bond with tightly. after a year or two of doggedly convincing myself that i’m happy here, at present i can’t convince myself that i can be happy without leaving the triangle area.

sigh…

June 13, 2006 on 8:27 pm | In peeps, ramblings | No Comments

whine! it’s cold(ish), it’s raining, it’s going to rain for the next two days, i’m only 40% through an interminable week of training, the one who is so close yet so far away is off wining and dining an undeserving attention enthusiast, i haven’t heard from my only possibility of enthusiasm for a few days, and for the first time in my life i was a stammering, bumbling fool when presented with the opportunity to seem a dashing, cultured suitor this past weekend.

however, things are looking up. coffee and conversation tomorrow night, absinthe and pernod on thursday night, out of training early and off to greensboro on friday night, a cookout on saturday, and a relaxed, typical sunday consisting of church, nursing home visits and hopefully some pool time. i’ll return to work refreshed, energized, and in perfect condition to have my permanent crowns squashed onto my molars on monday afternoon! oh wait, i’m being negative again.

best of all, i’ve managed to emotionally exorcise the spectre of the past year and a half of my life, and am getting back into my own groove. unfortunately, i seem always to be on one ghost hunt or another…

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