mono tales…

So for the past couple of weeks I’ve had a mono-like illness. That is, I’m testing negative for mono, but I still have all the symptoms of mono. I don’t know what that means either.

Mono, if you’ve never had it, is a little bitch. It straps you to the bed for several weeks and then right when you start feeling better it likes to trick you. You’ll wake up one morning and feel pretty okay. Slightly light-headed perhaps, but nothing compared to the crap that’s kept you in bed for the past couple of weeks. So you start thinking, I can get back to doing what I normally do. So you get up, hesitantly at first just to make sure you can walk around without having to sit down. That works out just fine, so you try to do something, like going to class. It’s rough but you survive even though you feel like you can’t quite keep up with the lesson.

Slowly, you feel a little better everyday. You seem to be able to sustain your energy for longer periods. You can do things like eat and you sleep all night without much trouble. You start having multiple days in a row where you really don’t feel all that bad. So then you decide, “Well, dammit, I’m better! I got stuff to do! Let me start moving some boxes. I’m buying a house this weekend!”

And mono just laughs at you a half hour later, when you’re laid out on the bed again too tired to move.

I hate you Epstein-Barr virus.

About dan

designer, gamer, drinker
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One Response to mono tales…

  1. Doug says:


    My Mom has Mono when she was younger. Lost the best part of a school year. Also a good friend of mine. So I did some research out of courousity. Here is some information I found; don’t know if it is true or not but you may find it of interest as part of your own research.

    - Since the standard test is based on checking for EBV antibodies, it is possible to receive a false negative if you test too soon, since your body needs a bit of time to start producing antibodies. You may need to re-test in a week or so if your doctor suspects that your test results are incorrect

    - Get at least 10 to 12 hours of sleep a day
    - Drink lots of fluids to remain hydrated and to relieve your sore throat
    - Gargle with salt water several times daily
    - Avoid drinking alcohol and caffeine
    - Maintain a balanced diet, low in refined sugars and starches
    - Take an over-the-counter pain reliever such as aspirin or ibuprofen to help your fever and sore throat
    - Avoid physical contact or sports that could cause your spleen to rupture

    Good luck

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