So for the past couple of weeks I’ve had a mono-like illness. That is, I’m testing negative for mono, but I still have all the symptoms of mono. I don’t know what that means either.
Mono, if you’ve never had it, is a little bitch. It straps you to the bed for several weeks and then right when you start feeling better it likes to trick you. You’ll wake up one morning and feel pretty okay. Slightly light-headed perhaps, but nothing compared to the crap that’s kept you in bed for the past couple of weeks. So you start thinking, I can get back to doing what I normally do. So you get up, hesitantly at first just to make sure you can walk around without having to sit down. That works out just fine, so you try to do something, like going to class. It’s rough but you survive even though you feel like you can’t quite keep up with the lesson.
Slowly, you feel a little better everyday. You seem to be able to sustain your energy for longer periods. You can do things like eat and you sleep all night without much trouble. You start having multiple days in a row where you really don’t feel all that bad. So then you decide, “Well, dammit, I’m better! I got stuff to do! Let me start moving some boxes. I’m buying a house this weekend!”
And mono just laughs at you a half hour later, when you’re laid out on the bed again too tired to move.
I hate you Epstein-Barr virus.