The Amazing Adventures of Space Elvis

An abridged version of the



David S. Wall


Cat meets cat and saves the world

PROLOGUE - In the last episode we found our hero on the verge of getting his interstellar love thang together. How did it go and will he manage to keep the security forces of the free world off his tail. Fit new batteries and turn up your hearing aid for


Sevil's pathological virginity was an anathema to Prescilla's romantic aspirations and although the relationship between Sevil and Prescilla got deeper it always stopped before Mr Floppy got a chance to say "hello !".

On Saturday night the pair set off for darkest Trimdon, where security was very tight because of the President's forthcoming visit. He was combining his NATO conference with a personal visit to the home of his ancestors, so to ensure security in the town everybody was issued with a special pass. Trimdon Elvis had arranged fo r all his performers to call at the security point to pick up their passes.

"What kind of name is that ?" inquired the security guard sternly.

"My father had a sense of humour !" Sevil replied coolly.

"Have you any ID ?"

"He left it in his other clothes" Prescilla interjected "but I can give you the name and number of the chappie we're stayin with".

The security guard, hassled by the edificial task of putting procedure into practice, rang Trimdon Elvis to confirm their identities.

"OK go and enjoy" said the guard humourlessly.

Twenty minutes later the phone rang in the security office. It was Chris Crud asking if any Elvis impersonators had passed by. The hassled guard gave him short shrift, many lookalikes had passed by.

"I smell conspiracy, our beloved president is in danger" thought Crud. He was right, there was a threat to the President's safety but it had nothing to do with the alien craft found in Ashington. In a smoky room somewhere in Trimdon a group of people sat congregated around a dimly lit table. They were discussing arrangements for tomorrow's presidential pageant. After going through the running order of the event the party left the room but a heavily set man remained seated. As the door clicked shut he picked up the telephone and dialled a London number which was answered by a fake Irish accent. The caller quickly tapped the microphone three times before pressing a black button marked encrypt. When both scramblers were engaged they spoke.

"Its all set, they know their jobs" said the dark figure.

"Good, but how much do they know?" asked the fake Irish accent.

"Nothing other than they're part of a surprise pageant that is to be presented by the townspeople to commemorate their illustrious relative. Its all on a need to know basis".

"Good, and the actors have been paid beforehand ?".

"In cash, all unmarked ten pound bills".

"After the pageant ?".

"They crowd around the podium and with all of the spectators behind there'll be four minutes to enact part two, has the Actor been briefed ?"

"Yes, he has, he thinks we're the cousins and that he's saving his President".

"He doesn't suspect anything".


"Good its all set, the less that you know in addition to this, the better. This is for your benefit as well as ours, we dont want to have to liquidate any inquisitive resources do we now.". He said menacingly before ringing off. The room reverberated wit h the crash of the receiver being returned to its cradle.

A small tabby cat called Madge scratched at the door. Angrily the man swiped her with his foot jamming her tail against the door jamb. She yelped in pain and sped off into the night.

Drawing by Kevin Lycett

It was the chance meeting between Terry and Madge that altered the course of history. Travelling in his luxury cat box Terry caught a glimpse of Madge as she sped past the entrance. Recognising her immediately he shouted after her in a high pitched yell that only cats can hear, she stopped in dead in her tracks and limped up to him.

Concerned about a possible tail infection Prescilla insisted on taking her to the local Peoples' Dispensary for Sick Animals around the corner and as the vet put a splint on the wounded tail Madge told Terry about the goings on in the basement, especiall y the last phone call.

EPILOGUE - Is the security of the free world in danger ? What will our hero come up with the goods to just stay in the ghetto ? Is it now or never ? Dont forget to pull up a chair and tune for next weeks rivetting episode of THE AMAZING ADVENTURES OF SPAC E ELVIS.

(c) David Wall 1995 Any resemblance to anyone living or having lived on Planet Earth is purely coincidental

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