The Amazing Adventures of Space Elvis

An abridged version of the



David S. Wall


Arise Sir Space Elvis !; A knock on the door; A small green deposit in the bank of love and Grandad it was you ! ?

PROLOGUE - After saving the President of the United States our hero is still a hunted man, tie yourself to the chair and keep your ear glued to your set for this, the final, FINAL episode of THE AMAZING ADVENTURES OF SPACE ELVIS.

"Frank, there's only one bit I don't understand, how did you get to know about the plot in the first place ?".

"I'm afraid that's classified, to protect sources, you understand sir !".

Smelling a rat the President bridled. "Frank, who am I ?".

"You're the President sir".

"Good, for one minute I thought you'd forgotten that, And what is my job Frank ?".

"You run the United States of America sir".

"Good, then lets start again, how did you get to know about the plot".

Fearing severe consequences Weipert told the President the whole story behind the discovery of the plot.

"I'm afraid its true sir and we've got to capture this alien".

"Hmm, a tricky one" he contemplated "but someone has to be seen to be getting the praise. Its good for national morale and in this case international relations, the special accord. Have you met this guy ?".

"No sir".

"Do you think he's dangerous ?".

"Yes sir".

"If he's dangerous Frank, why has he helped us ? Frank you're too suspicious. Find this 'alien' and his mistress and organise a thank you ceremony. We'll give him a gong meanwhile I'm going to ring the Prime Minister of Britain".

The two heads of state discussed their problem and decided that it would be best to have a public award ceremony and that the Prime Minister would have a word with the Queen. They concluded that this 'alien' problem would best be swept under the carpet.

"Arise Sir Dennis Watts" said the Queen as she touched the silver sword onto the shoulders of Sevil's pink crushed velvet morning suit. Prescilla, soon to become Lady Prescilla, beamed with pride.

Realising that they couldn't knight a person who didn't really exist the Security Services were asked to provide an identity for Sevil, which they did. Unfortunately Sevil had to accept whatever they could come up with which was an identity that arose after the demise of an eastend publican. It was originally intended for the deputy of the KGB, but he never defected. He was happy, and even more happy with the gift. They chose the Penshaw monument near Sunderland which just been put on the market by the bankrupt local council. Sevil and Prescilla had it re-built as a copy of Gracelands and there they lived, Sevil became 'Sir Space Elvis' the number one Elvis impersonator and had hit records.

Shortly after 'Spacelands', was finished Sevil was having a quiet evening in alone when the door bell rang. He answered to an oldish man who said he wanted to say thank you for saving his country. Struck by his familiarity and also by his sincerity, ands also wanting to show off his house, Sevil invited him in. "Nice house maan, its a bit like the one I used to own back stateside, southern style, by the way my name is Burrows". The two men talked for a couple of hours then the visitor gave him a special present, a piece of Jewellery just like Elvis used to wear. They shook hands and Burrows drove off into the night.

About three minutes later Prescilla walked through the door "Who was that bloke gan doon the drive he looked a bit familiar".

"Oh just a visitor, he came to thank me for what we'd done and we had a nice chat. A nice bloke, came from the USA".

Prescilla, getting suspicious said "what did he say his name was ?".

"Burrows, he's a fan of the King and he brought me this, its a copy of one that he used to wear, see its got 'to Space Elvis TCB' engraved on it".

Prescilla said "ulp" then went white as a sheet "I dont believe it. Didn't he look familiar to you"

"Well yes I suppose he did but I'm not sure where I've seen him before".

Prescilla was now in a state of shock "d d dont you see who he was" Sevil shook his head "You stupid dick! that was the King himself !" "King Who ?"

A few moments later Sevil picked himself up off the floor to where he had gently been thrown, then realised what Prescilla was saying, turned pastel green and promptly fell over again.

Numbed they sat in silence. After about half an hour Prescilla told Sevil where she'd been.

"I've been to see the doctor, for a test, you know I've been feeling a bit rotten lately".

"Are you OK dear" said Sevil concernedly.

"For a man that once travelled across the Solar System single handedly you really are a naive twit at times aren't you ?" Sevil looked shocked.

"I'm pregnant silly, we're going to have a baby".

Bewildered, Sevil said "Are you sure".

Prescilla hit him with a cushion and said "Watch my lips, We're going to have an interstellar love child" and they both laughed. "I wonder if it'll be green", she pondered.

Back at the yuletide fire scene grandpa finished his story and looked up. The children were still listening attentively but as soon as he finished young Mark shouted "grandpa it was you, you were Space Elvis" he looked at their eager young faces "Oh Youn g Mark you live the life of Riley". Prompted again he replied in a hushed tone "Ho Ho Ho nips, now that would be telling and gave them a large grandfatherly wink!".

EPILOGUE: Well they all lived happily ever after.

(c) David Wall 1995

Any resemblance to anyone living or having lived on Planet Earth is purely coincidental

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