There are several stages of abuse and depending upon which stage a you are in, you will need different forms of help. The links below will provide information about each stage as well as contact information for resources in Chapel Hill and Carrboro. By clicking on the statements below, you will find resources to help you decide what to do next.
I think my partner may be abusing me, but I'm not sure.
Certain behaviors, particularly controlling behaviors, may indicate an abusive personality or situation. For example, if your partner has exhibited any of the following signs, they may become violent, too. If the answer to any of these questions is yes, your partner is exhibiting signs of a controlling and potentially violent nature:
- Do you watch what you say and how you behave because you are afraid of upsetting them?
- Are you scared of disagreeing with your partner?
- Do you feel pressured into having sex?
- Does your partner criticize you or humiliate you in public or in front of friends and family?
- Does your partner make you feel stupid or inferior?
- Do they try to keep you from visiting with family or friends?
- Do they otherwise try to keep you from activities and interactions you enjoy?
- Are they regularly insulting?
- Does your partner control your access to money, transportation, or social interactions?
- Have they caused harm to your pets or other animals?
- Have they threatened you or your family members in order to force you to do something?
- Do they eavesdrop on your telephone conversations or quiz you about conversations to which they could not hear both sides?
- Do they check up on you throughout the day, perhaps showing up where they know you will be but you did not expect them?
- Do they ask you where you were if you are not where you said you would be?
The display of jealousy results from a serious concern that you are not putting them first and above everyone and everything else in your life. A controlling attitude and increased physicality can be the result of fears that another person is now the number one priority in your life.
Click here for resources that can help you understand how abuse works.
- I know my partner is abusing me but I'm not sure what to do next.
- I think I want to leave my partner but I'm not sure how.
- I think I am in danger and I need to leave NOW.
- I would like to leave my partner and I want to plan it out.
- I have left my partner but I still need help.