N.C. Barbeque: Stamey's Barbeque
I-85 business (about 2 mi. south of Lexington BBQ #1)
Lexington (704) 249-4647 FAX: (704) 249-7592
Stamey's is open on Sundays. That's just about the only
good thing I can say about this place. We ordered the coarse chopped barbecue, and everyone agreed that
the "pork" tasted suspiciously like turkey. If that was pig we were eating, then it
was the most uninspired pig this side of that bored looking "world's largest hog" at
the state fair. Same goes for the sauce and the slaw.
But wait, there's more. The decor is just godawful. Stamey's looks like a cross
between a demented American Graffitti set and an over-reaching Howard Johnson's. Even the
menu sucks: it's stupid and cutesy, and it even includes two of the absurd "stars-as-
pigs" illustrations that besmirch the walls of this execrable abomination of a barbecue
joint.
Better to keep kosher on Sundays than go to Stamey's, if you ask me.--The Mayor
The laminated menu includes a page about "Lexington History." In fact, it is a collection of dumb
pig facts and other claptrap that almost makes me (Alec) want to be a vegetarian again:
- "Just how smart is a pig? Scientists have proven that pigs are smarter than we think.
They rank closely behind apes and dolphins in intelligence. The Animal Behavior
Laboratories in Arkansas has [sic] taught pigs to answer yes and no, pick the right [?]
brand of feed, and even pull a chain to take a shower."
- "[Pigs] can't sweat. That's why you'll see them wallowing in mudholes. But if they were
given a choice, they would do their cooling off in clean water. Hogs aren't the dirty
animals we believe them to be. It's just that they aren't given a choice about where
they do their lounging."
- "What's the loudest sound you've ever heard. (sic) The jet engine on an airliner
measures an ear-piercing 112 decibles. But the squeal from a single hog has been
measured at a whopping 115 decibles. Kind of makes you glad you don't live on a hog
farm."
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