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Interview with Kimbra Martin, author of Snapshots

by Cheryl Tucker

Kimbra Martin just published her first book, Snapshots, in the summer of 1999. Her book contains snapshots, or detailed memories, of growing up with an abusive father (see my review of Snapshots in this issue). Though her memories are dark and unimaginable to anyone not familiar with the reality of child abuse, Martin is somehow able to remain strong and balanced. I wasn't planning to ask Kimbra Martin for an interview, but after reading and reviewing her book, I was intensely curious about her. I think you'll find her words inspiring even if you haven't read her book.

CT: I noticed that the publisher lists the book's genre as narrative nonfiction, so I assume this is your story. If so, may I ask why you changed the names? Did you feel like it gave you the proper distance to tell the story?

KM: Yes, the story is my own. I felt it would be wrong of me to use my family's true names because my siblings deserved the comfort of knowing that their own lives would remain anonymous even though I had made the decision to go public with this information. You might like to know that I refused even to seek publication until I had been given "permission" by my brothers and sister, because I felt there was even a small possibility that they could be affected by the book despite my best efforts to shield them. In addition, I have my son, who is now 16 years of age. Although he has since read the book and appeared in televised interviews with me, I believed his acknowledgement of this matter was a personal decision—one I would not make for him any more than I would for my siblings. You will often find in abusive families that the victims tend to be strongly allied and extremely protective of one another, and mine was a classic example.

I get the feeling that you have more than one book inside of you. Are you working on another or will you be soon?

Yes, I am definitely in the midst of writing a second book. This one is fiction, but it deals with the same dynamics found in Snapshots. It has been said that a writer is best when writing about her own experiences, and I think that's true. The abuse my siblings and I endured as children has affected us all in ways we are only just beginning to truly understand. Writing of this, and writing of other avenues we might have taken (some very painful to imagine) seems to help me come to terms with the facts of my life. In my second book, I begin with the worst imaginable thing: finding out that my brother has taken his own life as the result of life-long depression. It is precisely because it is one of the things I fear most that I began exploring it. Now it has become a sort of amulet for me, as though the writing can protect us all from such a thing in real life. Although the endeavor is intensely emotional and difficult, I am compelled to continue.

How long did it take you to write this book?

The short answer to this is "all my adult life," because Snapshots was truly in the works the entire time. I first attempted to write the book in my mid-twenties, then again in my mid-thirties. Although it was always there in some fashion, and I wrote short stories and poetry about the experiences, I was only successful in writing the book when I was 38. Then it just poured out, almost exactly as it now appears in print. It took roughly 400 hours to write the book. That corresponds to my writing schedule of 18 hours a day for just over three weeks. I was, you might say, extremely dedicated to the project by then, and I slept no more than three hours in every 24-hour period during that time. I knew that if I did not write it all down this time, I would never touch it again. Much later, over two years, in fact, I added the epilogue, and two years after that, I decided to publish it.

What made you decide to write it? Catharsis is one word that comes to mind. But whom did you have in mind for an audience? Your story is hopeful and I'm wondering if you are speaking to abused children mainly.

Snapshots really wrote itself, I think. What happened to all of us in our family was so beyond our understanding, and I was drowning in grief. I really see it as my only option, because I could not find a way to actually speak these words. It was different when the words were printed; somehow safer. Even so, there was so much that occurred that I may never even write about. This was really just an overview, and I no longer see a need to go into greater detail. Who would that serve? I think your choice of words is excellent, although I didn't see it as cathartic immediately after I was finished. In fact, I felt far worse than ever. However, that experience sent me spiraling so much that I finally returned to therapy and found an excellent provider who helped me find ways to deal with the intense anxiety, depression and fear that I had lived with all my life. If I had to name a specific audience, I would say that it was to those, as you suggest, that were abused (or are being abused) as children. But there is a larger audience that has presented itself since publication, one that includes both professionals in abuse recovery, and family and partners of abuse survivors. Interestingly, I have received a vast number of letters from readers who have never experienced abuse, and I am happy to find that Snapshots offers something to them as well. Most of all, I would like to think it provides a true sense of hope for others, whatever trauma they might have known, that their lives can be filled with joy and happiness, and that they, in turn, can make a difference to someone they know.