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Re: Earn extra cash for the holidays working from home.



MoMoney wrote:
> 
>        Homeworkers Urgently Needed!
> 
>    Earn weekly paychecks from the comfort
>               of your home.
>   FREE details. Send long, self-addressed,
>           stamped envelope to:
> 
>           S.P.E.L.,  Dept IN-2
>             PO Box 211-111
>           Royal Palm Bch, FL
>                    33421-1111
> 

 
 Dear:
   [x] Clueless Newbie           [ ] Lamer               [ ] Pervert
   [x] AOLer                     [x] Spammer             [ ] Nerd
   [x] Freak                     [x] Asshole             [x] Moron(tm)
   [ ] Troll                     [x] Loser               [ ] Josh (all
of the above)
 
 I took exception to your recent post/spam to:
                alt.swedish.chef.bork.bork.bork, and many other
                            (Newsgroup[s])
 
 You will now be flamed because:
   [x] You made a ridiculously off-topic post to a newsgroup.
   [x] You made a ridiculously off-topic post to several newsgroups.
   [ ] Your post originated on AOL.
   [ ] Your post originated on GNN.
   [ ] Your post originated on Netcom.
   [ ] Your post originated on EarthLink.
   [x] Your post originated from any other worthless excuse for an ISP.
   [ ] Your post contained numerous spelling errors.
   [ ] Your post contained numerous grammatical errors.
   [ ] Your post contained EXCESSIVE CAPITALIZATION.
   [ ] Your post contained excessive punctuation.
   [ ] Your post contained AlTeRnAtInG cApItAlIzAtIoN.
   [ ] Your post contained 3l3373 7yp1ng, d00d.
   [ ] You posted the exact same message/reply more than once.
   [ ] You posted a "test" to a group other than alt.test.
   [ ] You posted a binary to a group other than alt.binaries.*.
   [ ] You posted a non-binary to an alt.binaries.* group.
   [ ] You flamed someone who has been around far longer than you.
   [ ] You flamed someone who is far more intelligent and witty than you
are.
   [ ] You flamed someone, then contradicted yourself.
   [ ] You quoted an entire article, only to add nothing.
   [ ] You quoted an entire article, only to add ___ line(s).
   [ ] You quoted an entire article, only to add "Me too!".
       [ ] Or something relatively close to "Me too!".
   [ ] You posted a "YOU ALL SUCK!" message.
   [ ] You posted a request for "SEXXY GIFZ".
   [ ] You posted a request for "AOHell"
   [ ] You posted a request to mailbomb an address.
       [ ] And the given address's domain matched yours.
       [ ] Because you don't know how to mailbomb.
       [ ] Because this person is obviously far superior to you.
   [ ] You posted a net sex ad.
   [x] You posted a pyramid money making scheme.
       [x] And you foolishly included your own Snail Mail address.
   [ ] You posted/flamed from an "Anonymous" account.
       [ ] Which classifies you as a coward.
   [ ] You phished for:
       [ ] An AOL "15 free hours" account
       [ ] An AOL password
       [ ] A credit card number
       [x] Money for a worthless cause.
   [x] You suck.
   [ ] You posted pro-AOL propaganda.
   [ ] You are abba@shore.net
   [ ] You posted an obvious troll.
   [x] You posted a commercial advertisement.
       [x] And it was poor advertising.
       [x] And it was for a stupid product.
   [x] What you posted has been done before.
       [x] More than once.
       [x] And it was done much better the last time.
   [ ] You posted an obvious forgery.
       [ ] And it was done clumsily.
       [ ] And it was easily traceable.
       [ ] And you blamed a relative/friend for the forgery.
       [ ] It was done to seem that a person who is superior to you
wrote it.
   [ ] Your .sig pisses me off because:
       [ ] It is more than 6 lines.
       [ ] Your newsreader truncated it.
       [ ] It contains a stupid disclaimer.
       [ ] It contains a stupid, pointless quote.
       [ ] You attempted to be witty in it and failed.
           [ ] Miserably.
       [ ] It contains lame ASCII graphics.
       [ ] I don't give a shit about your WWW site.
 
 To repent, you must:
   [ ] Keyword Cancel on your AOL account.
   [x] Leave this newsgroup.
   [ ] Learn to type/spell/drool correctly.
   [ ] Read the FAQ.
   [x] Locate a gun, with which you are to shoot yourself with.
   [x] Stop reading Usenet groups.
   [x] Stop posting to Usenet groups.
   [x] Consume excrement.
       [x] And thus expire.
   [x] Remove your modem and bust it up with a hammer.
   [x] Be the guest of honor in alt.flame for a month.
   [x] Take your advertisement and shove it up your ass.
   [x] Orally satisfy the local Moron(tm): Josh Brandt 
       [x] And become his/her love slave.
       [x] And get hideous tropical diseases.
       [x] And enjoy every minute of it.  
 Furthermore, I'd like to say:
   [ ] You have greatly misunderstood the purpose of  
alt.swedish.chef.bor.bork.bork
                                                           (Newsgroup)
   [ ] You are a loser.
   [ ] *plonk*
   [ ] Grow up.
   [x] You're a Moron(tm).
   [ ] Get a life.
   [x] Go to hell.
   [x] Yer momma's so fat/stupid/ugly that etc...
   [x] Get a clue.
   [x] Your company should disclaim YOU.
   [x] Why don't you see how far your tongue goes into the electric
outlet?
   [ ] Did you mother/test tube have any children that lived?
   [ ] All of the above.
 
 This message has been:
   [x] Posted           [ ] E-Mailed            [ ] Posted and E-Mailed
 
 Additional comments:
  spamming is ruining usenet. Take your horseshit elsewhere.

      Sincerely,
            Cornholio
 "You do not want to face the wrath of my bunghole!"
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