News concerning or interesting JayJFadd

Although this page is small, it will grow, like a fungus. Also, to check out JayJFadd's competing source of AnnA to the Infinite Power news, go to the AnnA Newspage.


Barbie Q Madness and Infinite Gladness

On Saturday, April 20, AnnA to the Infinite Power played for the RHA Spring BBQ at McIver Beach (which is on campus near the Arboreatum and nowhere near a body of water). The performance was part of University-sponsored thingie that included Schlomo and Planet Nine.

The picturesque day was filled with AnnA's groovalicious tunes and the usual gang of silly supporters. Highlights included another magic mucus trumpet solo, and Moo-Cow Mitch actually getting down around the band on "Round About Her." Mickety-Matt, Wicked Woody, and LoveLee all kept their clothes on this time around, and all of the sun-bathing listeners had a dandy day.

As a special bonus, on this Thursday, the new and improved, politically-correct Circus of Crap rolls into town at the Skylight Exchange. See the Circus Promo Page for all the pertinent data.

Furthermore, moreover, in addition to, and also, The Testostertones, featuring Super Sammy the Skins Smacker (the drummer who filled in for AnnA at St. A's) will play at the Lizard n' Snake House of Specially Seasoned Beef on Wedesday.


Nudity Happens: Round Three in AnnA and Lizard n Snake Matchup

It pays to get naked. Fans of AnnA to the Infinite Power were bribed to take it all off at the band's First Annual Naked Jam Thursday night at the Liz & Snake burrito factory.

"Take your clothes off and we'll take off the price of admission," doorman and strip-coaxer Kit Mason told the patrons as they entered the establishment. Kit, who once again wore his majestic green kilt, swapped clothes for reduced charges to see the band.

Apparently, band members themselves forgot that it was just the audience that was supposed to bare it all. Frontman "Rabid" Mitch Bennett unzipped his trousers during the first song. Bassist "Bubba" Blanchard was next to do away with his britches and modesty. Eventually, Bubba, Rabid Mitch, and ace axe-slinger Woolly Woody were all sporting nothing but boxers and grins.

Released from the shackles of clothing, the AnnA admirals, including seated and clothed drummer Fuzzy Lee, ripped through their set of sexy slurpy songs with all the intensity that naked college boys should have. The band played all the songs they have ever played before, including demo-tape selections "Someone to Blame" and "Michelle Barber."

The evening's highlights, besides the naked people, included Mitch's snotty, random-electronic-noise nose-trumpet solo, and Bubba's bodacious shirt. The kinetically-charged dancing squadron, including Flapjack Comisky, Kute Kit in a Kilt, Hondo Jenkins, Amy the Ace, Forrest for the Fleas, Kathy the Waitress, and Jambalaya Jamison, once again practiced the art of interpretive alter-ego pop dance. Fuzzy Lee attempted to electrocute himself once again, this time by pouring water on the floor lights that were wrapped around his ankles. Forrest "Little Willie" Stevens also moshed himself silly during AnnA's version of Pearl Jam's "Why Go."

The finalists in the Lovliest Body in the Land competition were RJ With Kung-Fu Grip, and Forrest With Far-Out Trip. A single victor was never declared, as everyone who showed nipples or upper thighs was a winner. And as the group of sweaty dogs dissipated into the balmy night air, they took with them a sense of naked pride, and warm, fuzzy feelings that will remain forever in their hearts.


Duke Sucks; AnnA Rocks

AnnA to the Infinite Power bravely ventured into the the hamlet of hell known as Durham for the purpose of transforming a local burrito joint into a rock and roll refuge on Friday, March 29. AnnA arrived at the Cosmic Cantina, cattycorner to the campus of Duke University, at approximately 11:30, set up their duplicate, needless $55 PA system, and began to kick out the jams at 12:30.

When all was said and done, at about 3:15 a.m., the band had played one of their most rocking sets ever, and gained about 2 fans. The low rock-out to respect ratio was due to the pure shittery of all those damn Dookies in the audience. AnnA attempted to involve the audience in the show, but the turdfaces there just sat on their butts and ignored the band.

After about two songs, the band quit caring whether the lifeless audience appreciated what they were doing and started playing for themselves. A bubbalicious batch of big-butt boppin' bouncy ballads burst from the band as a result. A trio of trippy-trancy dancers was mercilessly mesmerized by the alluring siren of AnnA's aural bliss. The three dancemasters--Flapjack Comisky, Peanut Butter 'Becca, and Jambalaya Jamison himself--had the bootie-shakin' zone all to themselves, and they made excellent use of it by cavorting and contorting their bodies to reflect the jubilation of the music.

AnnA whipped out a myriad of songs like a flagellate to the deadbeat crowd. Among them were two Faces, two Greenshirts, two Bionic Arms, two Waitresses, one Someone, one Barber and an Asshole. Haruki, Houses, Putrid, Time, Martian, Radio, Rendezvous, Shriners, Round, Downtown, and the Booger Blues were also given the live sonic treatment.

Most of the evening's nonmusical highlights were provided by the AnnA Aces themselves, since the crowd was as about as interesting as a bullshit newspage. Frontman Retard "Mitch" Bennett went on a naked and famous kick and dropped his drawers several times during the show to let the audience see the results of poor sphincter control firsthand. On an all-night nutty streak, he then wallowed around on the floor in spilt beer while gargling the words to a song he had once written, much to the delight of the dorky dancers the other band members.

Also, Wayne, a man unemcumbered by the daily constraints of four walls and a roof, decided to come give his support to AnnA. When the band had arrived at the Cantina, Wayne generously had lended his help in carrying the band's gear up the long flight of stairs. Wayne wanted to come in to the Cantina to see just why he had lugged that unnecessary PA up that narrow flight of steps. However, Wayne was deemed unsavory by the owners of the establishment, and was eventually arrested for trespassing. Apparently, stuck-up, snot-nosed Jerseyites who could care less about the band members whose girlfriends they are hitting on are allowed to hang out at the Cosmic Cantina, but friendly old men who give support to the featured bands are not.

AnnA to the Infinite Power proved tight and resilient in the face of a crappy crowd, and look forward to their next gig, which is at the Cat's Cradle on April 3. For more info on future shows, check out their schedule. For more info on the band itself, check out the AnnA's homepage.
Until next time, keep your toe jam between your toes, and your kleenexes under your pillow!


Woody Sullender Announces Presidential Campaign

It's an election year and Woody Sullender doesn't want to be labled as a fiery politician. What two better reasons for the JayJFadd Newsfront to launch some comprehensive political coverage of the Sullender race to the White House?

Fresh from a weekend jaunt to Washington, where he emerged as the AnnA Party's Presidential Nominee (see below), Woody initialized his grand-scale letter-writing campaign to announce to the world his opinion on various complex issues facing the nation (see below). Furthermore, he has not only written a political platform, but he has displayed his simple plan to bring America up to her full potential on his own personal web page.

This action falls right in line with Woody's heated defense of all things internetical. Woody's agenda to bring swift and precise change to all the ailing aspects of America will get the full electronic press treatment by both his own site and by the JayJFadd Newsfront.

Remember to vote Woody (Mr. Sullender if you're nasty) into office this November! Write Woody for political advice or to send campaign contributions from his internet mail page.


Woody Gets Wicked Wild and Woolly in Wesponse to Wrong World Wide Web Write-Up

The rocking Ralph RayWoody Sullender got riled about a certain crappy column condemning all homepages on the internet. So, like any civil-minded hell-raiser, he wrote the editor to complain. Here's his letter:

TO THE EDITOR: It seems quite ironic that in Jeff Gargliano's column, he criticized the world wide web for its lack of substance and cotton candy appeal ("http://www.nothing.worthwhile/to.communicate, March 19). I happened to read his column on The Daily Tar Heel web page. So I guess Mr. Gargliano's article is just another text adding to the megabytes and megabytes of "insubstantial or downright silly" information.
If Mr. Gargliano would look a little deeper than Yahoo's Web Site of the Day and quit fighting the technological advances of our society like the grumpy old man stereotype, he might actually find a wealth of information. The U.S. National Library of Medicine has a web page that one would find much more useful than any found in the DTH. One can even view the most recent observations of the Hubble telescope on one of NASA's web pages.
Even the DTH has archives from the past two years online via the world wide web. But I guess in his opinion, it is just another site with "a lack of valuable information" where I found his column.

Woody Sullender
FRESHMAN
COMPUTER SCIENCE

We here at the JayJFadd Newsfront say, "Run, Raywood, Run!" Even though we don't know what that means.

A reporter working for the JayJFadd Newsfront was able to snag this civilaactivist and squeeze a quote from him. Being the coy, modest muchacho that he is, Woody downplayed his importance in the massive social uprising that he himself was the progenitor of.

Wild Woody had this to say:
"Actually JayJFadd, I was doing laundry one day and I got kinda bored. So, what else do you do when you are bored but try to raise a little hell. Well now that I am over the age of 18 and therefore can have criminal record, I usually try to stay within the legal bounds. My point being that I wasn't all riled up and pissed, just bored. Put that on your web page!"

We here at the JayJFadd Newsfront don't usually respond positively to imperatives demanding what information we broadcast, but Woolly Woody is such a powerful and influential politico that we felt obliged to print his moving tell-all account of the events that motivated him to become such a creator of widespread social reform.
Woody Sullender for president in '96!!!!!!!!!


JayJFadd Wins First Place* in Franklin St 5-K!!

It was a bright, clear, sun-shiny day. The puffy white clouds hung beautifully in the sky above picturesque Chapel Hill. It was quite the perfect day for JayJFadd to win First Place* in Zeta Tau Epsilon's 7th Annual Franklin Street 5-K Footrace.

JayJFadd started the race in the middle of the pack, but kept running strong the whole race through, and finished with a triumphant burst of speed. JayJFadd made all** of the other runners eat his dust. When the dust settled, JayJFadd was declared First Place* Winner!!

Such was JayJFadd's running prowess that the fraternity decided to lay out a gargantuan smorgasboard of fruit, bagels, sammidges, and liquid refreshments just for him***!! Unbiased race spectator John Squire said, "I never felt the wind blow as hard and fast as JayJFadd**** when he crossed that finish line."

* Apparently, JayJFadd was entered into the age 65+ Females with Missing Appendages category.
** All Elderly Women with Missing Appendages entered in the race did, in fact, eat JayJFadd's dust.
*** JayJFadd graciously decided to share his feast with the other runners so that it wouldn't go to waste.
**** JayJFadd was breathing quite hard when he finished. You would too if you had just come in first place* in a 5-K.


AnnA to the Infinite Power Razes the TEP House!!!

AnnA to the Infinite Power headlined the Tau Epsilon Phi "PattyPalooza" on Saturday, bringing sound waves of bliss to the entire room of happy dancers. With the Tyson pummelfest as their undercard, the AnnA Admirals pounded out solid go-go grooves for about two and a half hours (which, incidentally, was 15 times longer than Tyson had to perform). The band was in fine form, swinging through all of their signature hits and giving the discophiles plenty to keep busy with.

Big Beef Bennett, the contributor of the Y-chromosome of Vocal Stylist Mitch Bennett, was on hand to enjoy the evening's festivities and partake of the succulent green beer. Christopher "Kit" Mason also showed up in a stylish green kilt in homage to the patron saint of Ireland. The massive Kit jigged and jiggled the night away to his own cadence.

Highlights included Kevin "Hondo" Jenkins' soulful duet with jack-of-all-trades frontman Bennett on the bluesy, melodic romp of "Round About Her." Liquid Lava Six-String Note Coaxer Extraordinaire Woody "Scooby-Doo" Sullender showed off his love of rare botanical species and his fondness of St. Patrick's Day traditions with a pretty little shirt that his mom so kindly gave him. Meter Regularity Enforcer and Subjunctive Fills Fellow Fuzzy Lee berated the crowd for not realizing his presence before he rubbed the bass for Beck's "Asshole."

Bennett also played an impromptu round of "Singled Out," as a boy who admittedly "fucked up bad" and who, not coincidentally, was also badly fucked up, apologized to his girl and won her back.

Sunken Note Pulsation Purveyor and Harmonic Larynx Vibrator Matt "Turbo" Blanchard swayed the crowd to all sing along in celebration of girlfriend Jennifer "Asparagus" Comisky's 20th birthday. Happy birthday, Jennifer!

The show marked AnnA's last public performance before they pack up the gear and head off to our nation's political capital to record an actual see-dee and officially kick off their grass-roots "Fried Alive" Presidential Campaign. Seeing as how Washington is also our nation's murder capital, it may be wise to catch the gang in action in case they all get killed. In case they do live, here's a schedule of their shows.

Until next time--Keep your belly-button on the ground and keep reaching for the stars!


JayJFadd Meets the One and Only Legendary Wynton Marsalis

Sometime last month, or maybe it was this month, THE Wynton Marsalis came to the UNC Campus to perform. The lucky JayJFadd was priveleged enough to actually meet this incredible saxophone (trumpet?) player! Here's a picture of JayJFadd meeting Mr. Marsalis.
Then, Wynton Marsalis took time to pose with JayJFadd's good friend, J. Mitchell Bennett! Here's a picture of that.
The ultra-friendly Wynton even gave that ultra-smooth hempcat, Forrest for the Fleas, a back massage, as Woody "Ol' Blue Eyes" Sullender looked on.
Mr. Marsalis then gave Jennifer Comisky a nice big hug backstage after the show.

Wynton Marsalis--what a guy!!!

In other celebrity-related news, Kevin "Wonder Boy" Jenkins went on a week-long getaway to San Francisco with the sultry Hope Sandoval. As you may or may not know, when Miss Sandoval isn't makin' bacon with Mr. Jenkins, she moonlights as the lead singer of the Mazzy Star Band. Here's a picture of the occasion.

In yet even more celebrity-related news, AnnA to the Infinite Power actually met the one and only Tupac Shakur! Frontman Mitch Bennett said of the occasion, "Even though he's only got one ball, he still can play a mean game of hoops!" Here's a picture of the meeting.
**Rhetorical Trivia** Why don't they call Tupac Shakur "Onepac" now?**


Danny Siegle Garnishes Game's Glorious Goodness

Danny Siegle, Netscape navigator extraordinaire, has become the first human being to figure out the mysterious and macabre JayJFadd Homepage Hunt.

Sir Siegle sleuthed his way to acquiring all five fantastic phrases and seeing all six super skin screens. However, just because Dr. Danny is the Neil Armstrong, doesn't mean that anyone else can't be the Buzz Aldrin!

Hunt on, happy hunters........


Kit Mason Becomes the Buzz Aldrin of JayJFadd's Heart!

Christopher "Kit" Mason is the second homo sapien to venture into the previously uncharted territory of the Homepage Hunt Winners' Circle. He joins the elite list of snappy, slaphappy individuals whose internet skills far surpass their need to do anything productive.

Remember, just because Dr. Danny and Mr. Mason are analogous to astronauts Armstrong and Aldrin, it doesn't mean that you can't be Jim Lovell!


Rumors Abound that JayJFadd Runs a Secret Game

Rumors have been circulating that the trickster known as JayJFadd has set up a hide and go seek word scavenger hunt in the nooks and crannies of his homepage. According to Rev. Norman Wiggins, "Evil images and devil-spawned words have been spewing forth from the bowels of that pit stop of filth on the information superhighway known as 'JayJFadd's Fadbulous Page.'"

When asked about the unsubstantiated charges against him, JayJFadd issued a press release stating, "She told me that she was 18."

When asked if his homepage was part on an international scheme to unravel the very fabric of modern society, JayJFadd responded, "I could both confirm and deny these allegations at this time, but the Nile ain't just a river in Egypt, and as far a confirmation goes, I'm not Catholic."


AnnA to the Infinite Power Perform Triumphantly at the Lizard & Snake Burrito Factory!!!

On Saturday, February 10, AnnA to the Infinite Power and their legions of devoted followers descended upon the Lizard n' Snake House of Refried Beans to fill the air with blissful sounds and witty lyrics. The show, which lasted longer than "Dances with Wolves," marked AnnA's second performance at the club/restaurante.

It was family nite for AnnA, as Mom'n'DadSullender, the co-conspirators in Woody-production, were on hand to watch their guitarist son play. Also, Jenny Bennett, the foxy younger sister of "jack-of-all trades" frontman Mitch Bennett, came all the way from the Lone Star State to watch the show and sing with the band.

The performance ceremonies were initiated with the Bennett siblings' duet on the Star Spangled Banner. Then, AnnA started rocking with "Mexican Radio," and an altered-lyric version of "There's Something Round about Her." The band also performed staples like "Star," and "Martian March-In," and debuted new material like "Haruki," and "Time Goes By," just to name a few.

Jenny Bennett got onstage again to sing backup vocals for AnnA's hip hop and roll cover of Young MC's "Bust a Move." Then AnnA rounded out the set with rearranged songs "Asshole," and the crowd-pleasing "Downtown Train." The glam slam jam "Michelle Barber" kicked ass as much as conceivably possible, with a groove that just wouldn't quit, and a phat-ass creamy freestyle middle.

The Infinity infidels closed with the riff-a-licious "Bonnie's Bionic Arm." Then, after a plethora of high-decibel cheers, returned once more to the stage to play "Bust a Move" once more.

The evening's highlights included a dance contest sponsored by Matt Blanchard. Matt, the lone judge in the entirely subjective contest, awarded Forrest for the Fleas second place, and gave him an odd little poster as a reward. Upon receiving the poster, Forrest said, "I don't know what it is, but it sure is phat!" The first-place prize was most deservedly given to Rebecca, the Mammary Dancer. Upon receiving the super-large poster, Rebecca said, "I don't know what it is, but it sure is phallic...."

Other highlights included Woody recieving his standard bra-toss from the habitually drunk Sarah Alcoholic. Also, Nico (Bico) was the night's designated One To Blame.

Mitch Bennett had two solo performances. He played the Bush tearjerker, "Glycerine," while Lee, the drummer, just sat there and got paid for it. Then, during a unplanned lull, Mitch played the Frank Black classic, "Speedy Marie," on an acoustic guitar, with Kevin "Wonder Boy" Jenkins adding snippets of inspirational poetry.

And on a sad note, although band members and fans alike anticipated her presence with much anticipation, Heather Katherine Lewis, the band's abstinance-practicing groupie, could not make the show. Alas, neither could the Julie Ribbons, the band that was supposed to open for AnnA. Oh well.

Be sure to catch AnnA in the near future at a fraternity near you. Until then, keep your belly button on the ground, and keep reaching for the stars!



JayJFadd Dies in Intense Golf Tube Fight

Over the semester break, JayJFadd clashed in the form of a present-day medieval battle with a red haired forest sprite named O'Lindsay. O'Lindsay's sword abruptly met JayJFadd's face with no small amount of speed. JayJFadd's ocular sphere was not so delicately removed from its socket, leaving our hero with only half of his normal peripheral vision. Taking full advantage of the handicap she had inflicted upon him, O'Lindsay then used her sabre to steadily dismantle JayJFadd's body. O'Lindsay took JayJFadd's severed head back to Thebes with her and accidentally turned 19 people who happened to look at the head of JayJFadd into stone.

JayJFadd later recovered in Mt. Sinai Hospital. Both he and O'Lindsay were unavailable for comment.


Kevin "The Man" Jenkins Throws Huge End of Semester Bash

On Saturday, December 9th, 1995, Kevin Jenkins threw a wild "Big Hair Fiesta" at his house on S.Columbia St. The main gimmick of the party was that all of the attendees were supposed to arrange their hair in a big fashion. Most of them did, and great merriment and mirth was had by all who showed up. The party included two rooms of dancing discophiles, a kitchen full of mingling party guests, and some hyperactive madman who frolicked all around the house doing high-impact aerobics. If you have any information concerning the identity and/or the whereabouts of this lunatic with teased hair, please call either the Charter Memorial Treatment Center or the Dorthea Dix Mental Hospital.

As an added bonus to the Big Hair Fiesta, Matthew Wade Blanchard celebrated his magnificent 20th birthday that very same night. Jennifer Comisky baked a delicious birthday cake which she generously shared with the rest of the big-hairdos. Happy Birthday, Matt!!


AnnA Ready to Ring in the New Year with Four Big-Ass Performances

AnnA to the Infinite Power, fresh out of their winning performance at the UNC Battle of the Bands, has conveniently acquired four official gigs at local performance oriented establishments in Chapel Hill. The first AnnA show was January 10 at the Local 506. AnnA rocked the local esablishment for about two hours. Highlights included J. Mitchell Bennett's ear-protection contraption, the Julie Ribbons' guitarist's squeezebox solo, and a barechested HyperBlanchard.

AnnA got wicked and wild at the Cat's Cradle on Jan. 17, while sandwiched between the bands Brother Munk and Bus Stop. The evening's highlights included the presence of BlanchardMom and SullenderDad, funky light-bulb glasses, and an evil broken guitar string.

AnnA is also scheduled to play at the Lizard & Snake Burrito Joint on Saturday, February 10. The date for the venue at the Cave has finally been finalized, with February 15 being chosen as the day for which the show will transpire.

AnnA's managers and agents have recently been rumored to be in the midst of "working out" several performances with local fraternites and sororities. These gigs should occur sometime in the spring semester. Let's keep our fingers and toes crossed and hope that AnnA has enough time to play these shows.

AnnA's bassist, "Turbo" Blanchard, will be performing as vocalist with the Greensboro-based band, Digging With Gein. Digging With Gein are putting on a show on January 19 at Ziggy's in Winston Salem. So if you're going to be in the hometown of R.J.Reynolds on the 19th anyway, then why not go out and see at least a quarter of AnnA in action.


JayJFadd Gets Philosophical in the Daily Tar Heel

In the Wednesday, November 29, 1995 edition of the DTH, JayJFadd was quoted in regard to his wonderful opinion concerning the new UNC mascot and logo interpretations. What follows is an excerpt from said article, by that beautiful journalist, Gibson "y'all" Pate:

"Sophomore JayJFadd of Greensboro had a more philisophical outlook to the new logo.
'The epic struggle between old-fashioned, traditional values and icons, and new, trendy and more marketable images is juxtaposed here in the conflict between the old Ramses and the new ram.'"

Huh?


AnnA nets big $100 payoff in the UNC Battle of the Bands

AnnA to the Infinite Power had nice little 30-minute set of jivin' tunes in the Student Union's Cabaret this past Thursday. The show, although shorter than AnnA would have liked, did include a dance crew, and a fanatic woman obsessed with stroking Woody. AnnA opened with a scorching rendition of "Mexican Radio," sans vocals, then entered into the rabid hillbilly bop of "Star (Star, Star, Star-Star-Star). Other songs played by AnnA included "Bonnie's Bionic Arm," "Martian March-In," "Rendezvous with Grandma," "Downtown Train," "Someone to Blame," "Asshole," and some booger-nosed funk reminiscent of Vanilla Ice's classic, "Ice, Ice, Baby." The band closed with a freestyle version of "Michelle Barber," in which all four instrumentalists each played a different song.

After the show, Mitch, Matt, Woody, and Lee stuck around to listen to the other bands, and cheer them on. When all was said and done, AnnA received a $100 cheque, and open invitations to play at many more UNC rock band type operations. Following the Battle, the band members adjourned to Mitch's pad to participate in a Vanilla Ice party, where, oddly enough, AnnA appeared onscreen in a very deja-vu-esque way. They also watched SuperHombre battle a menacing beam of light with extremely phallic overtones.


AnnA to the Infinite Power to play at the UNC Battle of the Bands on Thursday, November 30, 1995

The title of this news blurb says it all. No one is certain when AnnA herself will take the stage, but if you arrive at 7:00 post meridian, you should be okay. Don't forget to wear any Vanilla Ice paraphenalia you might possess. *Don't be shy--deep down, we ALL love the Ice!*
Following AnnA's triumphant performance, there will be a post-show Vanilla Ice party. Be there!!

For more information about the coolest sensation since York Peppermint Patties, check out AnnA's homepage.


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