The picturesque day was filled with AnnA's groovalicious tunes and the usual gang of silly supporters. Highlights included another magic mucus trumpet solo, and Moo-Cow Mitch actually getting down around the band on "Round About Her." Mickety-Matt, Wicked Woody, and LoveLee all kept their clothes on this time around, and all of the sun-bathing listeners had a dandy day.
As a special bonus, on this Thursday, the new and improved, politically-correct Circus of Crap rolls into town at the Skylight Exchange. See the Circus Promo Page for all the pertinent data.
Furthermore, moreover, in addition to, and also, The Testostertones, featuring Super Sammy the Skins Smacker (the drummer who filled in for AnnA at St. A's) will play at the Lizard n' Snake House of Specially Seasoned Beef on Wedesday.
"Take your clothes off and we'll take off the price of admission," doorman and strip-coaxer Kit Mason told the patrons as they entered the establishment. Kit, who once again wore his majestic green kilt, swapped clothes for reduced charges to see the band.
Apparently, band members themselves forgot that it was just the audience that was supposed to bare it all. Frontman "Rabid" Mitch Bennett unzipped his trousers during the first song. Bassist "Bubba" Blanchard was next to do away with his britches and modesty. Eventually, Bubba, Rabid Mitch, and ace axe-slinger Woolly Woody were all sporting nothing but boxers and grins.
Released from the shackles of clothing, the AnnA admirals, including seated and clothed drummer Fuzzy Lee, ripped through their set of sexy slurpy songs with all the intensity that naked college boys should have. The band played all the songs they have ever played before, including demo-tape selections "Someone to Blame" and "Michelle Barber."
The evening's highlights, besides the naked people, included Mitch's snotty, random-electronic-noise nose-trumpet solo, and Bubba's bodacious shirt. The kinetically-charged dancing squadron, including Flapjack Comisky, Kute Kit in a Kilt, Hondo Jenkins, Amy the Ace, Forrest for the Fleas, Kathy the Waitress, and Jambalaya Jamison, once again practiced the art of interpretive alter-ego pop dance. Fuzzy Lee attempted to electrocute himself once again, this time by pouring water on the floor lights that were wrapped around his ankles. Forrest "Little Willie" Stevens also moshed himself silly during AnnA's version of Pearl Jam's "Why Go."
The finalists in the Lovliest Body in the Land competition were RJ With Kung-Fu Grip, and Forrest With Far-Out Trip. A single victor was never declared, as everyone who showed nipples or upper thighs was a winner. And as the group of sweaty dogs dissipated into the balmy night air, they took with them a sense of naked pride, and warm, fuzzy feelings that will remain forever in their hearts.
When all was said and done, at about 3:15 a.m., the band had played one of their most rocking sets ever, and gained about 2 fans. The low rock-out to respect ratio was due to the pure shittery of all those damn Dookies in the audience. AnnA attempted to involve the audience in the show, but the turdfaces there just sat on their butts and ignored the band.
After about two songs, the band quit caring whether the lifeless audience appreciated what they were doing and started playing for themselves. A bubbalicious batch of big-butt boppin' bouncy ballads burst from the band as a result. A trio of trippy-trancy dancers was mercilessly mesmerized by the alluring siren of AnnA's aural bliss. The three dancemasters--Flapjack Comisky, Peanut Butter 'Becca, and Jambalaya Jamison himself--had the bootie-shakin' zone all to themselves, and they made excellent use of it by cavorting and contorting their bodies to reflect the jubilation of the music.
AnnA whipped out a myriad of songs like a flagellate to the deadbeat crowd. Among them were two Faces, two Greenshirts, two Bionic Arms, two Waitresses, one Someone, one Barber and an Asshole. Haruki, Houses, Putrid, Time, Martian, Radio, Rendezvous, Shriners, Round, Downtown, and the Booger Blues were also given the live sonic treatment.
Most of the evening's nonmusical highlights were provided by the AnnA Aces themselves, since the crowd was as about as interesting as a bullshit newspage. Frontman Retard "Mitch" Bennett went on a naked and famous kick and dropped his drawers several times during the show to let the audience see the results of poor sphincter control firsthand. On an all-night nutty streak, he then wallowed around on the floor in spilt beer while gargling the words to a song he had once written, much to the delight of the dorky dancers the other band members.
Also, Wayne, a man unemcumbered by the daily constraints of four walls and a roof, decided to come give his support to AnnA. When the band had arrived at the Cantina, Wayne generously had lended his help in carrying the band's gear up the long flight of stairs. Wayne wanted to come in to the Cantina to see just why he had lugged that unnecessary PA up that narrow flight of steps. However, Wayne was deemed unsavory by the owners of the establishment, and was eventually arrested for trespassing. Apparently, stuck-up, snot-nosed Jerseyites who could care less about the band members whose girlfriends they are hitting on are allowed to hang out at the Cosmic Cantina, but friendly old men who give support to the featured bands are not.
AnnA to the Infinite Power proved tight and resilient in the face of a crappy
crowd, and look forward to their next gig, which is at the Cat's Cradle on
April 3. For more info on future shows, check out their
schedule.
For more info on the band itself, check out the
AnnA's homepage.
Until next time, keep your toe jam between your toes, and your kleenexes
under your pillow!
Fresh from a weekend jaunt to Washington, where he emerged as the AnnA Party's Presidential Nominee (see below), Woody initialized his grand-scale letter-writing campaign to announce to the world his opinion on various complex issues facing the nation (see below). Furthermore, he has not only written a political platform, but he has displayed his simple plan to bring America up to her full potential on his own personal web page.
This action falls right in line with Woody's heated defense of all things internetical. Woody's agenda to bring swift and precise change to all the ailing aspects of America will get the full electronic press treatment by both his own site and by the JayJFadd Newsfront.
Remember to vote Woody (Mr. Sullender if you're nasty) into office this November! Write Woody for political advice or to send campaign contributions from his internet mail page.
TO THE EDITOR: It seems quite ironic that in Jeff Gargliano's column,
he criticized the world wide web for its lack of substance and cotton
candy appeal ("http://www.nothing.worthwhile/to.communicate, March 19).
I happened to read his column on The Daily Tar Heel web page. So I guess
Mr. Gargliano's article is just another text adding to the megabytes and
megabytes of "insubstantial or downright silly" information.
If Mr. Gargliano would look a little deeper than Yahoo's Web Site of
the Day and quit fighting the technological advances of our society like
the grumpy old man stereotype, he might actually find a wealth of
information. The U.S. National Library of Medicine has a web page that
one would find much more useful than any found in the DTH. One can even
view the most recent observations of the Hubble telescope on one of
NASA's web pages.
Even the DTH has archives from the past two years
online via the world wide web. But I guess in his opinion, it is just
another site with "a lack of valuable information" where I found his
column.
Woody Sullender
FRESHMAN
COMPUTER SCIENCE
We here at the JayJFadd Newsfront say, "Run, Raywood, Run!" Even though we don't know what that means.
A reporter working for the JayJFadd Newsfront was able to snag this civilaactivist and squeeze a quote from him. Being the coy, modest muchacho that he is, Woody downplayed his importance in the massive social uprising that he himself was the progenitor of.
Wild Woody had this to say:
"Actually JayJFadd, I was doing laundry
one day and I got kinda bored. So, what else do you do when you are
bored but try to raise a little hell. Well now that I am over the age of
18 and therefore can have criminal record, I usually try to stay within
the legal bounds. My point being that I wasn't all riled up and pissed,
just bored. Put that on your web page!"
We here at the JayJFadd Newsfront don't usually respond positively to
imperatives demanding what information we broadcast, but Woolly Woody is
such a powerful and influential politico that we felt obliged to print
his moving tell-all account of the events that motivated him to become
such a creator of widespread social reform.
Woody Sullender for president in '96!!!!!!!!!
JayJFadd started the race in the middle of the pack, but kept running strong the whole race through, and finished with a triumphant burst of speed. JayJFadd made all** of the other runners eat his dust. When the dust settled, JayJFadd was declared First Place* Winner!!
Such was JayJFadd's running prowess that the fraternity decided to lay out a gargantuan smorgasboard of fruit, bagels, sammidges, and liquid refreshments just for him***!! Unbiased race spectator John Squire said, "I never felt the wind blow as hard and fast as JayJFadd**** when he crossed that finish line."
Big Beef Bennett, the contributor of the Y-chromosome of Vocal Stylist Mitch Bennett, was on hand to enjoy the evening's festivities and partake of the succulent green beer. Christopher "Kit" Mason also showed up in a stylish green kilt in homage to the patron saint of Ireland. The massive Kit jigged and jiggled the night away to his own cadence.
Highlights included Kevin "Hondo"
Jenkins' soulful duet with jack-of-all-trades frontman Bennett on
the bluesy, melodic romp of "Round About Her."
Liquid Lava Six-String Note Coaxer Extraordinaire Woody "Scooby-Doo" Sullender
showed off his love of rare botanical species and his fondness of St.
Patrick's Day traditions with a pretty little shirt that his mom so
Bennett also played an impromptu round of "Singled Out," as a boy who admittedly "fucked up bad" and who, not coincidentally, was also badly fucked up, apologized to his girl and won her back.
Sunken Note Pulsation Purveyor and Harmonic Larynx Vibrator Matt "Turbo" Blanchard swayed the crowd to all sing along in celebration of girlfriend Jennifer "Asparagus" Comisky's 20th birthday. Happy birthday, Jennifer!
The show marked AnnA's last public performance before they pack up the gear and head off to our nation's political capital to record an actual see-dee and officially kick off their grass-roots "Fried Alive" Presidential Campaign. Seeing as how Washington is also our nation's murder capital, it may be wise to catch the gang in action in case they all get killed. In case they do live, here's a schedule of their shows.
Until next time--Keep your belly-button on the ground and keep reaching for the stars!
Wynton Marsalis--what a guy!!!
In other celebrity-related news, Kevin "Wonder Boy" Jenkins went on a week-long getaway to San Francisco with the sultry Hope Sandoval. As you may or may not know, when Miss Sandoval isn't makin' bacon with Mr. Jenkins, she moonlights as the lead singer of the Mazzy Star Band. Here's a picture of the occasion.
In yet even more celebrity-related news, AnnA to the Infinite Power
actually met the one and only Tupac Shakur! Frontman Mitch Bennett said
of the occasion, "Even though he's only got one ball, he still can play
a mean game of hoops!" Here's a picture of
the
meeting.
**Rhetorical Trivia** Why don't they call Tupac Shakur "Onepac"
now?**
Sir Siegle sleuthed his way to acquiring all five fantastic phrases and seeing all six super skin screens. However, just because Dr. Danny is the Neil Armstrong, doesn't mean that anyone else can't be the Buzz Aldrin!
Hunt on, happy hunters........
Remember, just because Dr. Danny and Mr. Mason are analogous to astronauts Armstrong and Aldrin, it doesn't mean that you can't be Jim Lovell!
When asked about the unsubstantiated charges against him, JayJFadd issued a press release stating, "She told me that she was 18."
When asked if his homepage was part on an international scheme to unravel the very fabric of modern society, JayJFadd responded, "I could both confirm and deny these allegations at this time, but the Nile ain't just a river in Egypt, and as far a confirmation goes, I'm not Catholic."
It was family nite for AnnA, as Mom'n'DadSullender, the co-conspirators in Woody-production, were on hand to watch their guitarist son play. Also, Jenny Bennett, the foxy younger sister of "jack-of-all trades" frontman Mitch Bennett, came all the way from the Lone Star State to watch the show and sing with the band.
The performance ceremonies were initiated with the Bennett siblings' duet on the Star Spangled Banner. Then, AnnA started rocking with "Mexican Radio," and an altered-lyric version of "There's Something Round about Her." The band also performed staples like "Star," and "Martian March-In," and debuted new material like "Haruki," and "Time Goes By," just to name a few.
Jenny Bennett got onstage again to sing backup vocals for AnnA's hip hop and roll cover of Young MC's "Bust a Move." Then AnnA rounded out the set with rearranged songs "Asshole," and the crowd-pleasing "Downtown Train." The glam slam jam "Michelle Barber" kicked ass as much as conceivably possible, with a groove that just wouldn't quit, and a phat-ass creamy freestyle middle.
The Infinity infidels closed with the riff-a-licious "Bonnie's Bionic Arm." Then, after a plethora of high-decibel cheers, returned once more to the stage to play "Bust a Move" once more.
The evening's highlights included a dance contest sponsored by Matt Blanchard. Matt, the lone judge in the entirely subjective contest, awarded Forrest for the Fleas second place, and gave him an odd little poster as a reward. Upon receiving the poster, Forrest said, "I don't know what it is, but it sure is phat!" The first-place prize was most deservedly given to Rebecca, the Mammary Dancer. Upon receiving the super-large poster, Rebecca said, "I don't know what it is, but it sure is phallic...."
Other highlights included Woody recieving his standard bra-toss from the habitually drunk Sarah Alcoholic. Also, Nico (Bico) was the night's designated One To Blame.
Mitch Bennett had two solo performances. He played the Bush tearjerker, "Glycerine," while Lee, the drummer, just sat there and got paid for it. Then, during a unplanned lull, Mitch played the Frank Black classic, "Speedy Marie," on an acoustic guitar, with Kevin "Wonder Boy" Jenkins adding snippets of inspirational poetry.
And on a sad note, although band members and fans alike anticipated her presence with much anticipation, Heather Katherine Lewis, the band's abstinance-practicing groupie, could not make the show. Alas, neither could the Julie Ribbons, the band that was supposed to open for AnnA. Oh well.
Be sure to catch AnnA in the near future at a fraternity near you. Until then, keep your belly button on the ground, and keep reaching for the stars!
JayJFadd later recovered in Mt. Sinai Hospital. Both he and O'Lindsay were unavailable for comment.
As an added bonus to the Big Hair Fiesta, Matthew Wade Blanchard celebrated his magnificent 20th birthday that very same night. Jennifer Comisky baked a delicious birthday cake which she generously shared with the rest of the big-hairdos. Happy Birthday, Matt!!
AnnA got wicked and wild at the Cat's Cradle on Jan. 17, while sandwiched between the bands Brother Munk and Bus Stop. The evening's highlights included the presence of BlanchardMom and SullenderDad, funky light-bulb glasses, and an evil broken guitar string.
AnnA is also scheduled to play at the Lizard & Snake Burrito Joint on Saturday, February 10. The date for the venue at the Cave has finally been finalized, with February 15 being chosen as the day for which the show will transpire.
AnnA's managers and agents have recently been rumored to be in the midst of "working out" several performances with local fraternites and sororities. These gigs should occur sometime in the spring semester. Let's keep our fingers and toes crossed and hope that AnnA has enough time to play these shows.
AnnA's bassist, "Turbo" Blanchard, will be performing as vocalist with the Greensboro-based band, Digging With Gein. Digging With Gein are putting on a show on January 19 at Ziggy's in Winston Salem. So if you're going to be in the hometown of R.J.Reynolds on the 19th anyway, then why not go out and see at least a quarter of AnnA in action.
"Sophomore JayJFadd of Greensboro had a more philisophical outlook to
the new logo.
'The epic struggle between old-fashioned, traditional values and icons,
and new, trendy and more marketable images is juxtaposed here in the
conflict between the old Ramses and the new ram.'"
Huh?
After the show, Mitch, Matt, Woody, and Lee stuck around to listen to the other bands, and cheer them on. When all was said and done, AnnA received a $100 cheque, and open invitations to play at many more UNC rock band type operations. Following the Battle, the band members adjourned to Mitch's pad to participate in a Vanilla Ice party, where, oddly enough, AnnA appeared onscreen in a very deja-vu-esque way. They also watched SuperHombre battle a menacing beam of light with extremely phallic overtones.
For more information about the coolest sensation since York Peppermint Patties, check out AnnA's homepage.
Back to JayJFadd's Homepage!!