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SHRINKING BRAINS
Shock Media May 1996 Issue
http://www.ipgnet.com/~jun/media/
News Flash
Shrinking Brains
Recent research at an undisclosed American University has
revealed that our brains are constantly shrinking. In fact our
brains shrink by a factor of 15-40 percent in the course of a
lifetime. This explains the loss of memory, lack of
concentration, moody behavior and just plain craziness in
many older people. Little do the majority of them know that
they are carrying about only about half their brain in some
cases. Men are particularly vulnerable to "shrinkage"
because they have a lower blood flow, especially in the
frontal lobe region. One doctor who asked to remain
anonymous stated that essentially the brain dries out much
like a fruit or vegetable. It would in the end resemble
something like a large raisin about the size of a softball.
The catch is that males lose twice the amount of brain than
women by the time they reach seniority which on one hand
explains why they die earlier than women but on the other
poses the specter of elderly men regressing to an infantile
stage which requires the constant attention not from Mom
but from their wives, whose brains are still largely active and
intact.
In the end, life for a man seems to be nothing short of a
matriarchcal experience clouded in confusion and mental
fog. In many cases, the lights are on but nobody's home.
From all of us males to all women in the world, thank you
for taking care of us when we're old, grumpy and half brain
dead.
May we all shrink less.