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SHRINKING BRAINS



Shock Media May 1996 Issue

http://www.ipgnet.com/~jun/media/




News Flash 


                                                Shrinking Brains 

               Recent research at an undisclosed American University has
               revealed that our brains are constantly shrinking. In fact our
               brains shrink by a factor of 15-40 percent in the course of a
               lifetime. This explains the loss of memory, lack of
               concentration, moody behavior and just plain craziness in
               many older people. Little do the majority of them know that
               they are carrying about only about half their brain in some
               cases. Men are particularly vulnerable to "shrinkage"
               because they have a lower blood flow, especially in the
               frontal lobe region. One doctor who asked to remain
               anonymous stated that essentially the brain dries out much
               like a fruit or vegetable. It would in the end resemble
               something like a large raisin about the size of a softball. 

               The catch is that males lose twice the amount of brain than
               women by the time they reach seniority which on one hand
               explains why they die earlier than women but on the other
               poses the specter of elderly men regressing to an infantile
               stage which requires the constant attention not from Mom
               but from their wives, whose brains are still largely active and
               intact. 

               In the end, life for a man seems to be nothing short of a
               matriarchcal experience clouded in confusion and mental
               fog. In many cases, the lights are on but nobody's home. 

               From all of us males to all women in the world, thank you
               for taking care of us when we're old, grumpy and half brain
               dead. 

               May we all shrink less.