Re: GBlist: Fw: Virus Alert

greenbuilding Conference @ txinfinet.com (XINCLXgreenbuilding@txinfinet.com)
Sat, 29 Mar 97 00:30:13 CDT

earthshp@newmex.com writes:
> > > Please read the following message very carefully.
> > > * COMPUTER VIRUS *
> > > If anyone receives e-mail entitled: PENPAL GREETINGS! please
> > > delete it
> > > WITHOUT reading it.
> > > This is a warning for all Internet users. There is a dangerous virus
> > > propagating across the Internet through an e-mail message
> > > entitled "Penpal Greetings!"

I have a feeling that this is another hoax, very similar to the Good Times
virus hoax. The actual virus is the email it generates warning everyone about
the supposed virus. It fits most of the criteria for a virus: it
self-replicates, is non-productive, wastes resources (bandwidth, in this
case), and is generally annoying.

Please read up about viruses, and spare your fellow list members and sysops
from another round of chicken little hysteria. Investigate the claims before
acting - That's what you'd do with a new Sustainable Wonder Material, isn't
it?

Below is some stock info on Good Times and viruses in general, including a
satirical "Antivirus" I picked up somewhere.

The Good Times Virus DOES NOT EXIST. It is a hoax that started around
christmas time some 3 years ago. It is a rumor. That's all.

You can NOT get a virus by reading email. You have to actually download a
program and start it up for a virus to get its "wake up call" to start
spreading through your machine.

Go to the website at Northwestern University, pick up the latest copy of their
virus protection software, and read up on what viruses are and how they work.

There are several web pages chronicling the spread of this hoax:

http://www.tcp.co.uk/tcp/good-times/index.html

http://www.singnet.com.sg/staff/lorna/Virus -- lots of virus info

(Note: the V must be capitalized.)

http://www.nsm.smcm.edu/News/GTHoax.html

GoodTimes Email Virus FAQ:

Goodtimes will re-write your hard drive. Not only that, but it will
scramble any disks that are even close to your computer. It will
recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream
goes melty. It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards,
screw up the tracking on your television and use subspace field
harmonics to scratch any CD's you try to play.

It will give your ex-girlfriend your new phone number. It will mix
Kool-aid into your fishtank. It will drink all your beer and leave its
socks out on the coffee table when there's company coming over. It will
put a dead kitten in the back pocket of your good suit pants and hide
your car keys when you are late for work.

Goodtimes will make you fall in love with a penguin. It will give you
nightmares about circus midgets. It will pour sugar in your gas tank and
shave off both your eyebrows while dating your girlfriend behind your
back and billing the dinner and hotel room to your Discover card.

It will seduce your grandmother. It does not matter if she is dead, such
is the power of Goodtimes, it reaches out beyond the grave to sully
those things we hold most dear.

It moves your car randomly around parking lots so you can't find it. It
will kick your dog. It will leave libidinous messages on your boss's
voice mail in your voice! It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous
and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of
mauve.

Goodtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the toilet seat
up. It will make a batch of Methamphedime in your bathtub and then leave
bacon cooking on the stove while it goes out to chase gradeschoolers
with your new snowblower.

Listen to me. Goodtimes does not exist.

It cannot do anything to you.

But I can.

I am sending this message to everyone in the world. Tell your friends,
tell your family. If anyone else sends me another E-mail about this
fake Goodtimes Virus, I will turn hating them into a religion. I will
do things to them that would make a horsehead in your bed look like
Easter Sunday brunch.

Thank you.

--

Bill Christensen billc@greenbuilder.com Sustainable Building Calendar at http://www.greenbuilder.com -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sustainable Sources - Internet Solutions with an Environmental Perspective info@greenbuilder.com BBS 512.462.0633 Telnet://fc.greenbuilder.com:3000 WWW http://www.greenbuilder.com/ __________________________________________________________________ This greenbuilding dialogue is sponsored by Oikos (www.oikos.com) and Environmental Building News (www.ebuild.com). For instructions send e-mail to greenbuilding-request@crest.org. __________________________________________________________________