oh anyway, adam posted on aol. did you read that? he is cool and i'm an asshole cause just this morning, when i thought about him posting before, i thought, 'silly jo, that was his way of trying to let me know he was out there.'
then of course the misery kicks in and i think that's ridiculous and he doesn't come near this newsgroup but sometimes i feel so guilty cause if i make him feels like some of my fans do, well the pressure is so high to meet some of you.
but it shouldn't be like that with adam and if it is, this isn't love. i don't want to think about it if it isn't love, it doesn't matter it's a delusion so i never have to live without it
but i'm sure there's something in a shade of jo...
anyway, i have to go. i'll be on the boat which is like a bus on the water that serves liquor, oh shit. i am down low in terms of my finances already. you know. i've had to acquire provisions on the road but i still haven't been eating cause i just get used to a place and bathe and have to go.
bathing is like sex. the longer you wait, the better it is.
anyway, do you know how weird i feel showering in strange men's home after the shit i write about doing in the shower. yikes. i don't know what's going to happen to my posts after this.
nothing. i mean i maintain, no i don't. my writing, well when i tried to do my column in new york it absolutely sucked. i said straight out to my editor 'don't you think it's boring' he is so nice and cracked up, so relieved i said it and agreed it was flat. flat.
oh gosh my friends. ross did so much to prepare for me. i'm going to stay in all kinds of hotels, even get an ocean-side cottage just for me. can you imagine? i'm going to be treated like a princess jo. joella.
i can't take it. i mean i can give nothing in return. after reading adam's little post, well how can you not love him?
okay, one minute. okay, here i go. okay wish me well. tunes await on the bus. two changes. hate that. oh gosh i hate to say good-bye. even if adam hates me or doesn't know i exist, i am so queer but just reading his little post, well i knew he was cool. i don't care if he hates the word. he's not a dick.
adam duritz said dick on the internet. i'm writing to aol, man.
okay, i'm so giggly happy now. crazy as a loon, headed for the street where you live.
okay,
bye,
jo