Okay, so here are some quotes, regardless of
context, from the game. I'm going to add the more memorable ones as the
Chronicle progresses.
- "So, what are the stats on a lit zombie?"
- "Well, there's two father figures down!"
- "She, like all good oracles, must die."
- "If you do that, I'll kick your ass."
- "The hell he's making a copy of me! I'll kick his ass!"
- "Okay, so hurry up in there, 'cause we've got ass to kick."
- "She is not going to come up in my house and take
my name. I'll kick her ass, whoever she is!"
- "Remind me to kick your ass for this later."
- "I'm going to follow him, and if he does anything funny, I'm going to
kick his ass!"
- "Don't miss with those tentacles, or I'll kick your ass."
- "Five bucks says that halfway through the party she's hanging out by
the punch bowl, hugging a log and telling everyone their future."
- "You know, somebody's going to have to kill the troubadors. They've
seen too much. Or I guess they could get ghouled."
- "Hmmm. Quill, I'd say you count as an oversized club, wouldn't
you?"
- "Don't make me roll Stamina for my tentacles, or I'll kick your
ass."
- "Faster, damn it! Shamble faster! Get out of here!"
- "Why is whether or not they speak French such a big deal all of a
sudden?"
"Well, it is the official language of Courtney Love."
*long
pause*
"Sorry, courtly love."
- "I just want to inhabit necrotic flesh!"
- "Too much chunk, and not enough cream."
- "You're looking longingly at a sheep?"
"He's Scottish. It's in his
genes."
- "You've not got a special dispensation from the Pope!"
"Oh, and
have you talked to the Pope lately?"
"Well, my name is
Rome."
"Does that mean the Vatican is your codpiece?"
- "You can hear the terrible, heart-stopping (if it wasn't already
stopped, permanently) shriek of the...of the horses."
"Horses
shriek?"
"Of course they do."
"No, we do not hear the sound
of tires shrieking. Horses. Right."
- "Why don't we just stay at a monastery or something? Oh, yeah, they
won't let us in there with all the little kids, will
they?"
- "God, I want to thrash something."
(Celeste holds up random
street urchin as a suggestion.)
"Oh, yeah. You like children.
Nevermind."
- "Oh, I think I'll sit astride my horse and laugh haughtily while she
rips his face off."
- "What the hell is the deal with the squirrels? WHAT SQUIRRELS KEEP
ATTACKING YOU?"
- "Maybe I should give him some blood?"
"...No."
(small voice)
"Oh, okay."
- "Yeah, fine, you throw the old bitch behind the treeline when you've
drained her, and in the distance, you hear Rome calling your name."
- "I'll make sure to send a round of ales over to their table before I
go downstairs."
(long pause)
"I give my ale to my squire."
(long pause)
"I give my ale to Rome's squire, too."
(long
pause)
"Yeah, I guess I scoot mine towards Rome's squire."
- "Did we just wipe out two entire generations of this village's
populace?"
"Coming back through here on our way back to Madrid is
really going to suck."
- "Of all the fucking times not to have a Giovanni."
- "Do squirrels really live in the river?"
(NPC child answers)
"Uh, well, no, not as a general rule. BUT IT WAS STILL THE RIVER
SQUIRRELS! WAAAAAAAH!"
- (nervous twitch) "Are there any squirrels around?"
- "Yeah, like I'm stepping foot inside that Elysium again. Right. The
last time we tried this Presentment business, someone fired off a bunch of
Obtenebration and tried to kill my ass!"
- "There's an eight-foot beetle/Geiger-alien combo crushing the skull of
this weirdo? My action's going to be to scream, flail around, and run for
the gate out of here."
- "I continue trying to poke all this Obtenebration with my jeweled
dagger."
- "Forgive me father, for I have sinned."
- "Oooh, are there any children playing nearby? I want to try my
Dementate."
- (After the Brujah spots some highwaymen up ahead.)"Guess I shouldn't
have had so many beers before we left town. Guys, we need to stop the
horses for a minute."
"Why?"
"...Gotta...answer the call of
nature. You know."
"WHAT?"
"You know."
"I just
completely fail to understand what you're saying. YOU'RE DEAD."
- "Where are y'all again?"
"We're in the
crypts."
*pause*
"You're in the Crips? I have this picture of a
couple dozen guys with blue bandanas on their heads, wondering what the
hell they're doing in Spain. In the eleventh century."
"They gonna
BUST A CAP IN YO ASS!"
- "I'd really rather we not spend game time discussing coitus
Twinkie-us."
- "Well, they were all upset that there's a church that close to
the city where vampires are worshipped. I'm actually rather
excited by it."
- "...and then on our way back to Madrid, the villagers formed a
mob against us when they realized who we were. But then our Lord Jesus
Christ appeared out of the ground, nailed to the Cross, and told the
villagers their priest was a heretic. We were, obviously, blessed."
- "Well, just before that last second when I would really need to work
the lock, I'll make the sound of a horse shrieking outside to distract
everyone."
"A horse shrieking?"
"Yes. Not tires. A horse."
- "How was your weekend at home?"
"Pretty good, except for when I
woke up on Sunday and my body had a complete reaction to lack of nicotine.
My vision was fuzzy, I couldn't hear right, my body felt weird. It was
like I entered nicotine torpor."
- "You wake up where you went to sleep, in the crypt. With a 't.'"
"That's right, I wake in the 'hood."
"You're wearing the
hood."
"He's wearing a hood."
(Quietly, from the other side
of the room...)
"He's wearin' the whole hood."
- "What's your name, little boy?"
- "No, you're in Oro tonight. Remember? You got here, and the
innkeeper told you how Father Dominic would be leading a requiem mass
because Pig Boy is dead."
(In unison, from Kat &
Corwin, droaned with much sorrow.)
"Moooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!"
"Poor
Pig Boy."
- "She assigned us to investigate because she was afraid we might find
out something damaging if we stayed in town and investigated?"
*one
hysterical giggle*
"...No. Hee hee."
- "Perhaps the other priest would be willing to lead the service in
Father Dominic's absence?"
"Uh...I'll ask..." (leans into doorway,
calls out) "You willing to lead the service for now?"
*pause*
"Oh,
yeah, I'll be happy to lead the service. Be there in a
minute!"
- "C'mon. I know you're a vampire. You know I'm a vampire. Come on
out and play."
"He gives you that sort of Scooby Doo look of
'Aroo?'"
"Look, it's a fairy. Alright?"
"I'll sort of slowly
show my fangs."
(From the peanut gallery.)
"What, and the dog
wasn't there when we slaughtered an entire
village?"
"...Oh yeah. Damn."
- "So you invited us here just to tell us all this?"
"And to let us
get eaten by mosquitos?"
- "No, see, if I were going to compare you to a show, you'd be the
Scooby Doo Gang. Constance is Velma..."
"I most certainly am
not!"
"...and Celeste is Daphne. Rome is Fred, Colin is Shaggy.
You've got Canus to be Scooby. Quill is, I dunno, somebody."
"Can I
be, like..."
"Aner is the Harlem Globetrotters!"
"Actually, I was
about to ask. Can I just be the whole Harlem Globetrotters?"
- "That's not a horse, he's doing My Little Pony."
"I get my tiny
comb and my bottle of magic bubbles and head outside."
- "There's that damn Theology stat again."
- "This isn't a proper service. It's not even in Latin!"
"That's not
how we do them in Scotland."
"You don't do services in the language of
Christ?"
"...No. We don't know Latin there."
"But, that's
where all the best-educated people were, years ago. The
colleges...run by monks. In Ireland?"
"Sorry, not anymore. It's a
Scottish Requiem."
"It's sacrilege!"
"Sorry."
- "Well, see, I don't know what to do. Constance really wants to show
this little girl that kids can be monsters, too, and that they can do what
they want, and that's okay, because she's a monster herself, and,
well...it's probably going to involve killing her parents. So I want to
find out where she lives."
- "As I ride out there to see if they're awake yet or not, I
accidentally trample Canus and squash his little doggie head?"
- "Four hundred people? Yeah, we could clean out the town in an hour,
I'm guessing."
- "I was felt up by a Darth Maul cup."
"Well, it had those little arms that move..."
- "Ask him, he's the necrophiliac Ass-Master."
"Get the terminilogy right: 'butt-fuckin' necro.'"
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michael@metalab.unc.edu
Red Moon Rising 1/2
1999
©2001 White Wolf
Publishing Inc. All Rights Reserved.