Ah, summertime. That special time of year when the great outdoors become a hellish wasteland of skin cancer inducing sunlight and humidity levels so high you have to sort of wade around rather than walk. In short, it's horrible, and the only way to survive the experience is to sit inside in the air-conditioning and watch Japanese cartoons. Will this summer's crop help you pass the time or drive you screaming outside where certain doom awaits? Let's find out! As ever, I'm using the [url=http://www.fansubwiki.com/Who_Subs_What:_SUMMER_2009]Fansub Wiki[/url] listing of shows that are coming out this summer, where you can also find their respective air and release dates. So, if you want to know when any given show is coming out, there ya go. [img]http://www.ibiblio.org/phil/fnordchan/sum09/01-isekai-no-seikishi-monogatari.jpg[/img] [url=http://www.seikishi.com/]Isekai no Seikishi Monogatari Episodes 4 and 5[/url] - Hey, remember that Tenchi spin-off OVA series no one really cares about? Well, there's more of it out there if you're interested, which you aren't. So! Moving right along... [img]http://www.ibiblio.org/phil/fnordchan/sum09/02-kawa-no-hikari.jpg[/img] [url=http://www.nhk.or.jp/savethefuture/kawanohikari/]Kawa no Hikari[/url] - Based on a children's novel, this TV special is the presumably heartwarming story of a group of mice who are forced out of their home due to construction and go off in search of a new place to live. It sounds like a cross between Pon Poko and The Secret of N.I.M.H., except lame. Eh. [img]http://www.ibiblio.org/phil/fnordchan/sum09/03-umi-monogatari.jpg[/img] [url=http://www.sea-story.tv/]Umi Monogatari ~Anata ga Ite Kureta Koto~[/url] - I'm kinda torn here. The director is the same guy who directed Kaleido Star and Princess Tutu and one of the screenwriters also worked on Kaleido Star. On the other hand, everyone else involved have worked on shows that are generally pretty dull and the character designs are kinda loli, so I dunno what to think. As for the show itself, it's about a couple of mermaids who meet a schoolgirl. It could go either way, really. [img]http://www.ibiblio.org/phil/fnordchan/sum09/04-fight-ippatsu-juden-chan.jpg[/img] [url=http://mv.avex.jp/juden-chan/]Fight Ippatsu! Juuden-chan!![/url] - More of the show about the office lady from another dimension who comes here to help bring zany hijinx to the downtrodden. When I first heard of this in the spring I thought it might be a fun sort of comedy, but now I'm getting the feeling that it's probably just crap. [img]http://www.ibiblio.org/phil/fnordchan/sum09/05-penelope.jpg[/img] [url=http://www.penelope.tv/]Ukkari Pope 2nd Series[/url] - Based on the children's books by Anne Gutman and Georg Hallensleben, Penelope is apparently a koala bear (I had to look her up) who has various adventures that will greatly appeal to the preschool set. [img]http://www.ibiblio.org/phil/fnordchan/sum09/06-umineko.jpg[/img] [url=http://umineko.tv/web/main/index.html][B]Umineko no Naku Koro Ni[/B] - I was more excited about this murder mystery anime (set inexplicably in the year 1986, unless it's just to ensure no one has a cell phone) until I learned that it was based on a doujin game by the Higurashi guy. On the other hand, the character designs are (with one invitable exception) not of the hyper-loli variety, so perhaps there's hope for this after all; the main problem I had with Higurashi was that all the little girls were so damn creepy. The Higurashi director is back for the occasion, so if you liked that, you'll probably like this. [img]http://www.ibiblio.org/phil/fnordchan/sum09/07-aoi-hana.jpg[/img] [url=http://www.aoihana.tv/]Aoi Hana[/url] - Hot yuri action the way you like it! Or something. When a geeky glasses girl (mmmmmm, megane-ko) enters high school depressed from her last breakup, she re-connects with an old friend who is just starting at another local high school. Cue friendship and, hopefully, hot yuri action, even if only in doujinshi. Oh, and it's from the director of Honey and Clover and Nodame Cantabille, so I'm totally there. [url=http://needless.jp/]Needless[/url] - Holy shit, will you look at that! I don't even think I need to say anything else; something like this really speaks for itself. Okay, okay, so it's about how after World War III some folks get superpowers and proceed to beat each other up. It looks awesomely retarded and hopefully the staff (who didn't excite me, but who aren't awful or anything) let that complete stupidity shine through. [url=http://www.tbs.co.jp/anime/taisho/]Taisho Yakyuu Musume[/url] - It's 1925 and two high school girls have decided to organize a baseball team. I'm sold. Oh, and it's from the guy who directed Genshiken! Granted, he hasn't directed anything else worth a damn, but that's okay. I'm still sold. [url=http://www.bakemonogatari.com/]Bakemonogatari[/url] - Supernatural mystery of the week, featuring a guy who, if I read the incoherent ANN description correctly, is back to being human after a brief stint as a vampire. Hey, it could happen to anyone. The show is being brought to you by basically no one of note [url=http://elementhunters.com/english/index.html]Element Hunters[/url] - Okay, get this: In the future, various elements completely disappear from the planet, 90% of humanity dies off, and they discover there's an alternate dimension Earth that only kids under the age of 13 can reach. Admittedly, most boy's adventure shows are kinda dumb, but this one takes the cake. The guy writing the show has done some cool stuff (Black Heaven, Nadeisco) but he and the director are mostly responsible for a bunch of generic anime, so I'm not expecting much here. [url=http://www.canaan.jp/]Canaan[/url] - Based on the visual novel 428: F.sasareta Shibuya De for the Wii (which means it really is a visual novel and not a porn game), it tells a story, to crib from ANN, "about a detective, a young man, a virus researcher, a freelance writer, and a cat mascot character who are brought together by bizarre events with worldwide implications in the Tokyo neighborhood of Shibuya." Well, alright then. Famitsu gave the game a perfect score (for what that's worth), but apparently a lot of the appeal came from the way the story changed depending on the perspective you were viewing events from. I'm not sure I trust the folks doing the anime to really pull off Rashomon here; direction is from the guy who directed Sword of the Stranger and has had various duties on a lot of other cool projects, but series composition is by the woman who gave us shows like Toradora on the one hand and Kodomo no Jikan on the other, so, yeah. We'll see. If nothing else, it looks like we're guaranteed women wearing improbable outfits, for what that's worth. [url=http://www.starchild.co.jp/special/zetsubou3/]Zan Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei[/url] - It's back for a third TV series with the same director and everything, so if you wanted more Zetsubou-sensei, here you go. [url=http://kuruneko.fc.yahoo.co.jp/]Kuruneko[/url] - ANN kept referring to this as a "manga blog" adaptation, which annoyed the hell out of me. It's a fucking webcomic. Just call it a webcomic. At any rate, it's about a woman who loves sake and cats and is chock full of slice of life comedy. I figure it's probably exactly like Garfield, but different. [url=http://www.prilover.tv/index.html]Princess Lover![/url] - Finally! I kept looking at show websites and thinking, "Man, that's gotta be based on a porn game", but it turned out I was wrong each time...until now! This is absolutely based on a porn game. See these two? [img] They're excited because they get to play their roles without lots of gasping and moaning and yelling "Onii-sama!" or what have you. As for the show itself, it's about an orphaned young man who becomes the heir to a vast corporate empire and is sent off to private school for the incredibly rich. There he will hook up with every girl in sight. Well, in the game at least. In the anime I dunno what he'll do, except that it'll probably be boring. I mean, what's the point if there's no screwing? Boy, I hate H game adaptations. [url=http://www.aika-zero.com/]AIKa Zero[/url] - Then there are the AIKa shows, which aren't based on porn games. They're just incredibly gratuitous. I kinda admire the original OVAs for pushing the envelope on just how many panty shots could be squeezed into a single episode, but at this point it's been beaten into the ground. That said, this is being done by the same folks who gave you AIKa R-16: Virgin Mission, so if you liked that then you'll probably like this, you naughty, naughty fanboy you. [url=http://www.starchild.co.jp/special/kanamemo/]Kanamemo[/url] - Well, this is going to be horrible. The show itself is perfectly innocuous, mind you - an orphaned middle school girl gets a job at a newspaper delivery firm with a bunch of other girls and they have wacky slice of life adventures - but that promo image screams, "Hey, degenerate perverts! Terrifying doujinshi is waiting for you!". Expect the next Comiket to be even more debased than usual. [url=http://mv.avex.jp/ga/]GA: Geijutsuka Art Design Class[/url] - Meanwhile, this is a slice of life comedy about cute girls in a art class, but the character designs are going for "cartoony" rather than "lolita", so maybe it'll dodge the scary doujin bullet to an extent. The comic has been published in the US by Yen Press if you want to check it out. Also, in addition to a bunch of Di Gi Charat, the director did Cromartie, so at least he knows how to deal with a gag strip. Series composition is by the Lucky Star person, which I bounced off of hard but a lot of folks seemed to like. [url=http://www.mmv.co.jp/special/soramani/]Sora no Manimani[/url] - A hapless bookworm moves back to his hometown and meets up with a childhood friend who drags him into the astronomy club. Cue romantic comedy hijinx. This has potential as the director also gave us School Rumble, Kochikame, and Gintama, so the man knows how to do a solid comedy. [url=http://www.spicy-wolf.com/]Spice and Wolf II[/url] - More laid back fantasy about a trader and a wolf girl, brought to you by the original staff. 'Nuff said. [url=http://tokyo-m8.com/]Tokyo Magnitude 8.0[/url] - The big one finally hits and our heroes have to make their way across post-quake Tokyo to their home. The staff isn't absolutely top flight, but they've worked on some good projects (particularly the director, who had other roles on shows like Stand Alone Complex, Moribito, and Noir) and the studio is BONES, so there's a lot of potential here. [url=http://www.gendaimahou.com/]Yoku Wakaru Gendai Mahou[/url] - Based on a series of light novels, we have our standard shounen heroine. Clumsy? Check. Looks younger than her age? Check. Precocious? Check. In this case, she's a high school freshman who is starting to study under a graduate student (presumably the one who looks old enough and wears glasses) who is a master of magic. Cue wacky supernatural hijinx. [url=http://hetalia.com/index.htm]Hetalia Axis Powers Second Season[/url] - More of the goofy five minute shorts about national stereotypes represented by silly uniform wearing bishounen. Cue surreal gags. What I saw of the first season was hysterical, so I'm all for another season. [url=http://anime-ch.nicovideo.jp/ontama/]Ontama[/url] - Finally, we have a show I don't think I can actually summarize. It has something to do with a little girl, tension between mom and her stepdad, her search for her biological father, and then things get weird and the ANN summary stops making any sense whatsoever. Presumably hijinx of the excessively cute variety are involved. And there you have it. What will I be watching? Well, if the past couple of seasons are anything to go by, virtually nothing; I'm completely out of the loop. Theoretically, however, I'd like to check out Aoi Hana, Taisho Yakyuu Musume, Sora no Manimani, Tokyo Magnitude 8.0, and Hetalia Axis Powers Second Season. I'm also curious to see how Umi Monogatari, Umineko no Naku Koro Ni, Canaan, and Yoku Wakaru Gendai Mahou turn out; I'm fairly dubious but, hey, you never know. Again, you can find air dates and the like at the [url=http://www.fansubwiki.com/Who_Subs_What:_SUMMER_2009]Fansub Wiki[/url]. FnordChan