The Real Paul Jones

Accept no substitutes

Looking for Senior Citizen Discounts

I just received a box of socks from my parents. At least in their minds, I may celebrate birthdays, but I remain stuck in my teens and in need of assistance in maintaining my stock of acceptable personal apparel.
In the mind of the White House, I am among the last to be entitled for Social Security benefits.
In the mind of AARP, I should have joined 5 years ago.
In the mind of the intelligent treadmill at the gym, my heart rate should not exceed 165.
In the mind of my son, I am already in my dotage and have been since he had his 10th birthday.
In the mind of the North Carolina Employee Retirement System, I have to keep working if I want full benefits.
What I want to know is: where do I go to collect those famous senior citizen discounts?

1 Comment

  1. Dave Mason

    2/6/2005 at 1:34 am

    Ah, but in the eye of your admirers you are one Yanni-looking, rightous mo-fo. And don’t you forget it.

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