Subject: Re: *** F R E E M O N E Y *** No Joke, All LEGAL!

From: [email-masked] (Ruth or Bill Mays)
Date: Mon, 11 Mar 1996 01:48:32 GMT

Dicky <[email-masked]> wrote:

>  I'd just like to point out at this stage that I don't want any free 
> money.  I don't want to lose weight - IN WEEKS! - either.  But I would 
> like to advertise my new invention:

> PEN-O-KNUCKLE
>  Stuck at the phone without a pen?  Need to pretend to be able to 
> memorize eleven digit phone numbers? NO MORE! Pen-O-Knuckle grafts easily 
> with human bone.  Simply remove your right index finger at the knuckle 
> and PEN-O-KNUCKLE screws simply into flesh. Writes for weeks.
Just don't drop it in front of Benjamin- he will carry off anything
that is loose!
Ruth Mays  Cinnaminson, NJ  USA  08077
E-Mail:[email-masked]

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From: Brad Lloyd <[email-masked]>
Date: Tue, 12 Mar 1996 16:26:32 +1000

I think you are a very sick person! But I wouldn't be surprised if 
some-one would in fact cut off there finger to attach a pen.
  
  I would like to find out some international e-mail addresses so I can 
correspond with some-one not from OZ.

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From: [email-masked] (Master D!)
Date: Tue, 12 Mar 1996 16:55:57 GMT

>and PEN-O-KNUCKLE screws simply into flesh. Writes for weeks.

Please post full article. 

Do you supply refills?

Have you thought of tool attachments for the other digits? Consider
the options.....

(Hand - Pinkie, RIng, Middle, Index, Thumb)

Left Hand - Shoehorn, Spare condom, Allen key (always just the wrong
size), tyre lever for your pushbike,  taser or mace sprayer (your
choice, comes in a wide range of colours as long as it's black)
Right Hand - Spanner, cigarette roller/air freshener (your choice),
telescopic pointer in radium paint (for when you really want to make a
statement), PEN-O-KNUCKLE (the one, the only, the original), spork

Jaz Lewitscum of Nigel, Plodsketnax sez :

"These devices have totally changed my life! Now I am never without
those nifty things I need. Pity I can't masturbate anymore...."

Send all your money now, and we'll then bill you!

Master D!
Idle commentary for an idol world in an ideal place!

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From: [email-masked] (Jeremiah)
Date: 13 Mar 1996 20:03:24 GMT

>statement), PEN-O-KNUCKLE (the one, the only, the original), spork

Sure, sure, but when are they going to come out with a left handed 
PEN-O-KNUCKLE?  I removed my left index finger as soon as my PEN-O-KNUCKLE
came in the mail.  Upon attaching the PEN-O-KNUCKLE, I found it to be
like so many other life saving items: only designed for righties. 

I called the PEN-O-KNUCKLE customer service department, and while very
courteous and helpful, attaching the PEN-O-KNUCKLE to my right index
finger fell short of expectations.  It turns out that I am completely
unable to write coherently with my PEN-O-KNUCKLE on my right finger.
Of course I already knew I couldn't write with a normal right handed 
pen, but I thought PEN-O-KNUCKLE would be different.

Now part of my left and right index fingers are missing, and it hurts 
to type.  Can anyone help?

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From: "GONZALEZ A.RENE" <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 14 Mar 1996 14:08:52 -0600

whats up with that are you sick or what that invention sucks you really 
need to get medical attention or maybe just commit suicide do you really 
think that is going to sell come on! get a life....or get a pencil and 
stick it where you best like it you are really sick and you better write 
back.

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From: [email-masked] (Dick Heath)
Date: Sat, 16 Mar 1996 13:35:47 -0800

Please, sir, don't cross-post.  It bugs the hell outa me.

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From: Dreamer and Morbid Walker <[email-masked]>
Date: Sat, 16 Mar 1996 04:43:35 -0800

GONZALEZ A.RENE wrote:
> back.Post somewhere else.

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From: [email-masked] (Joe Milon)
Date: Sun, 17 Mar 1996 16:49:55 GMT

>stick it where you best like it you are really sick and you better write 
You must be joking. I can't beleive that someone is so naive that they
can't understand  obvious jokes. If you were kidding, you are not very
funny. BTW, the period is below the > sign on the lower right of your
keyboard.

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From: [email-masked]
Date: Mon, 18 Mar 1996 09:24:48 GMT

>> back.Post somewhere else.
AOL SUCKS!

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From: Perpetual Motion <ksm3ba@sirius>
Date: Mon, 18 Mar 1996 21:13:55 GMT

> stick it where you best like it you are really sick and you better write 

Wassa matter with you? Don't you have a sense of humour.. t'was a joke... 
just a harmless bit of fun!

Perpetual Motion.
 
     .-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-. .-. 
   /~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   |   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~   ~\
  |                         |   "I'm not sick and twisted, just       |
  |    [email-masked]  |         imaginative." - Pat             |
  |  [email-masked] |                                 -><-    |
   \                        |     HAIL ERIS! ALL HAIL DISCORDIA!     /
    `._.'~`._.'~`._.'~`._.'~`._.'~`._.'~`._.'~`._.'~`._.'~`._.'~`._.'

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From: [email-masked] (saandy surles)
Date: Sun, 17 Mar 96 20:20:16 PST

In article <[email-masked]>, [email-masked] says...

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From: [email-masked] (TrinaL1)
Date: 16 Mar 1996 10:31:22 -0500

In article <[email-masked]>,

>stick it where you best like it you are really sick and you better write 

I believe that post was a joke. As in, something humorous. As in,
something not to be taken seriously, and really not warranting this sort
of response. Besides, why would you expect the person to write back after
you call him "sick" and tell him to commit suicide?

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From: David Nottage <[email-masked]>
Date: 20 Mar 1996 23:29:28 GMT

>stick it where you best like it you are really sick and you better write

Get a sense of humor!!

Dave

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From: [email-masked] (oma nimi)
Date: 26 Mar 1996 17:51:53 GMT

In article <[email-masked]>, 
[email-masked] says...
>
>I would really like some free money.  Send me some details with the 
cash.
>--younger.
>___________________
>
>
>
>In article
><[email-masked]>, 
"W.
>Tahara" <[email-masked]> wrote:
>
>>Just Reply and I'll send you all the info you need to get started!!