Subject: intoxicated keyboard (Re: cmsg cancel <[email-masked]>)
From: [email-masked] (Juergen Stockburger)
Date: 27 Jun 1994 12:58:59 -0700
Newsgroups: alt.activism.d,alt.activism.death-penalty,alt.adjective.noun.verb.verb.verb,alt.adoption,alt.aeffle.und.pferdle,alt.agriculture.fruit,alt.agriculture.misc,alt.aldus.freehand,alt.aldus.misc

In article <[email-masked]> [email-masked] (Bananafish <><) writes:
   In article <[email-masked]>, [email-masked] (Nicholas Abbot) writes:
   >[email-masked] wrote:
   >: In article <[email-masked]> [email-masked] writes:
   >: >arsehole users!
   >: Ha so ennes au! Was dreibd denn _der_ dubbel en onserer newsgroup? Erschd en

   [ snip ]

   >: Aber mir sen ja liberal, als schwoabe.
   >: Ansonschde: tscheussle aus Oschdweschdfale
   >: Ralf
   >: [email-masked]
   >
   >	Brain?  Fuck Brain.  This is your KEYBOARD on drugs.

   alt.mistaken.abbotin.screw-up.foul-up.fuck-up
   alt.intoxicated.keyboard.is.was.will-be
   alt.proper.format.use.apply.attempt
   alt.crossposting.idiots.leave.leave.LEAVE!!!!!

INTOXIACATED KEYBOARD MYSTERY SOLVED!!! The erratic character
sequences you received are in fact part of a living European dialect,
which still enjoys wide popularity in the heartland of Swabia. This
tribe of southwestern Germany has invaded the Usenet news distribution
system, establishing a group under the name of their 'national
symbols' aeffle.und.pferdle as a bridgehead.  This is a new quality of
an old global threat: The infiltration of all major societies by
so-called SWABIANS.
	This threat may have been most acute during the middle ages
when their Hohenstaufen dynasty ruled as emperors of the Holy Roman
Empire.  Although superficial examination of the historical record
will give them credit for things like the foundation of the first
secular university in Italy (Naples) and early attempts at making a
multicultural society work (Italians, Normans, Saracenes and Germans
in Sicily and southern Italy), closer scrutiny will undoubtedly
uncover the full extent of their global conspiracy.
	The abolition of Swabia as a political entity after the death
of the last Hohenstaufen seemed to be a great setback to their
subversive efforts. Unlike Bavarians, who snatched away part of their
territory, they have kept a low profile over decades -- but only to
refine their strategies, as was recognized by alert historians early
in this century. The mass emigration from Europe in the nineteenth
century was used by them as an inconspicuous way to infiltrate the
Americas and many countries of eastern Europe. Sometimes only typical
names like 'Haeberle' or 'Laemmle' or 'Abele' will give them away.
	What you have experienced is no doubt the beginning of an
effort to brainwash people into using their language with the aim of
gaining more leverage in the international political scene.

J:)rgen

P.S. Rumours that speakers of that 'language' get 20% off their
Mercedes or Porsche, made at their 'capital' Stuttgart could not be
substantiated while this article is being posted.

   --
   Bananafish <><                Write for Amnesty International info!
   [email-masked]
   "Keep your hat on your head; home is a long way away."  --REM
   Like figuring out guitar TABs?  Listen to REM?  Write to me!
--
========================================================================
Juergen Stockburger			(213) 740-9337 voice
USC Chem. Dept., SSC 715		(213) 740-8348 fax
Los Angeles, CA 90089-0482		[email-masked]
========================================================================