Subject: Killer plants smother us in bed

From: [email-masked] (Gerald W. Roe)
Date: 2 Mar 1995 07:42:53 GMT

In the past couple of weeks, there has been a rash of messages in 

this and related newsgroups expressing the concern that plants in 

the bedroom may pose a health risk due to their nocturnal emissions 

of carbon dioxide.

 You know I never thought of this before? Here all these hundreds of 

millions of years we've been evolving in the jungles and forests, 

surrounded with plant life, and it took the mighty scientific 

achievement of the Internet to make us aware that these killer 

plants may have been trying to suffocate us in our sleep all along. 

 But that's not the worst of it. Lying awake at night thinking about 

this (you don't want to close your eyes with those plants around) I 

have come to the startling conclusion that there is an even greater 

danger in my bedroom. Scientists now know that *humans* exhale 

carbon dioxide at night too! I hope the truly health conscious who 

have voiced the concern about plants will recognize this even 

greater threat, and not allow any humans (or other animals) to sleep 

in their bedrooms from now on. I think the very future of the human 

race may depend on this.

 (The *very* concerned may want to stop breathing themselves. This will 

eliminate all health concerns.)

-- 
Trans-Pacific Nursery        Rare and Exotic Plants
Email catalog available      Timber Press books discounted

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From: [email-masked] (Karen Fletcher)
Date: 2 Mar 1995 12:24:07 GMT

I seem to recall that this dates from Victorian times when it was thought 
to be unhealthy to keep plants in a sick person's room.  Of course, there 
was also the belief that fresh air was unhealthy and your best bet was to 
seal out all that nasty fresh air (and sunlight, too) but shutting the 
windows tightly and drawing the heavy curtains (velvet, no doubt).

I hereby will personally volunteer to spend my days and night in a 
conservatory surrounded by plants ;-)  Send your donation today to this 
support this scientific undertaking!  I have it all picked out, it has a 
fountain in the middle and...

Karen Fletcher                                     [email-masked]
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From: Bryce Grevemeyer <[email-masked]>
Date: 3 Mar 1995 16:19:42 GMT

There is a real and very serious concern with keeping plants 
in the bedroom.  Plants are incurable gossips, and if you happen 
to have a friend stay over, well you can see the problem.

       ;-)

              Bryce

BTW, I moved mine out, after they started holding up little signs 
with numbers on them.  (3.7 for technical merit went just too far)

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From: [email-masked] (Lynsey Gedye)
Date: 4 Mar 95 18:54:05 GMT-12

>fountain in the middle and...

  Ah, my dear Karen.  You can afford to be so bold nowadays,
  now that plants have been tamed, bonsai'd, chemically emasculated,
  f1 hybridised, enslaved and beaten into submission.

  You wouldn't have been so forward in Victorian times.  Plants then
  were wild and free, not tame.  All it took was the beating of the
  human heart which sounds all too like jungle drums for plants
  to rustle and stir and send their tendrils lusting for the smooth
  white flesh of your innocent throat.

  Please my dear, before you dismiss such risks, may I commend for
  your reading pleasure, "The flowering of the strange orchid",
  a new short story by Mr H.G. Wells, or Mr Wyndham's latest offerings,
  "The Day of the Triffids", "The Trouble with Lichen"..

  Have a care, Karen, that plant beside you just moved.  They breathe
  in, you know, just before the attack...

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[email-masked]

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From: [email-masked] (Lynsey Gedye)
Date: 4 Mar 95 18:54:05 GMT-12

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[email-masked]