Subject: New vitamin A1

From: [email-masked] (Keith F. Lynch)
Date: 1 Apr 1994 00:33:54 -0500

Scientists today announced discovery of a new essential vitamin,
thiomethylaprilamine (A1).  This vitamin is not found in any food
in the vegetable kingdom.  It's not found in any animal, either,
with one exception.  It's not available as a supplement, since it's
too difficult to synthesize.

The sole source of this vitamin is the human body.  The only way to
obtain this essential nutrient is by consuming human flesh.

If you have not been doing so, you are probably deficient.  Deficiency
symptoms include (but are not limited to):  Anxiety, backaches, boredom,
cavities, colds, constipation, depression, fatigue, gas, headaches,
heartburn, hemorrhoids, indigestion, ingrown toenails, itching, malaise,
nausea, nearsightedness, obesity, thinning hair, tobacco addiction,
and toothaches.

If you have ever had any of these symptoms, you had better get more of
this vitamin.
-- 
Keith Lynch, [email-masked]

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