Subject: Re: castaway humor (fwd)

From: Louie Raffloer <[email-masked]>
Date: Mon, 15 Apr 1996 19:58:19 -0700 (PDT)

very stupid joke

On Mon, 15 Apr 1996, Tom Vincent wrote:

> 
> 
> ---------- Forwarded message ----------
> Date: Mon, 15 Apr 1996 11:13:24 -0500
> From: [email-masked]
> To: [email-masked], [email-masked],
>     [email-masked], [email-masked],
>     [email-masked], [email-masked],
>     [email-masked], [email-masked], [email-masked],
>     [email-masked], [email-masked], [email-masked],
>     [email-masked], [email-masked], [email-masked]
> Subject: castaway humor (fwd)
> 
> >Date: Sun, 14 Apr 1996 12:31:57 -0600 (CST)
> >From: Elizabeth J Tipton Murff <[email-masked]>
> >Subject: castaway humor (fwd)
> >To: Bramblett <[email-masked]>, Iris <[email-masked]>, Tipton
> ><[email-masked]>, Waterman <[email-masked]>, Justice
> ><[email-masked]>, Agarwal <[email-masked]>, Dane
> ><[email-masked]>, Lee <[email-masked]>, Buse
> ><[email-masked]>, Garza <[email-masked]>, Murff
> ><[email-masked]>
> >Content-type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII
> >Content-transfer-encoding: 7BIT
> >
> > Subject: There was this engineer...(On a lighter note)
> >
> >   There was this male engineer, on a cruise ship in the
> >   Caribbean for the first time. It was wonderful, the
> >   experience of his life. He was being waited on hand an
> >   foot. But, it did not last. A Hurricane came up
> >   unexpectedly. The ship went down almost instantly.
> >
> >   The man found himself, he knew not how, swept up on the
> >   shore of an island. There was nothing else anywhere to be
> >   seen. No person, no supplies, nothing. The man looked
> >   around. There were some bananas and coconuts, but that was
> >   it. He was desperate, and forlorn, but decided to make the
> >   best of it. So for the next four months he ate bananas,
> >   drank coconut juice and mostly looked to the sea mightily
> >   for a ship to come to his rescue.
> >
> >   One day, as he was lying on the beech stroking his beard and
> >   looking for a ship, he spotted movement out of the corner of
> >   his eye. Could it be true, was it a ship? No, from around
> >   the corner of the island came this rowboat. In it was the
> >   most gorgeous woman he had ever seen, or at least seen in 4
> >   months. She was tall, tanned, and her blond hair flowing in
> >   the sea breeze gave her an almost ethereal quality. She
> >   spotted him also as he was waving and yelling and screaming
> >   to get her attention. She rowed her boat towards him.
> >
> >   In disbelief, he asked, "Where did you come from? How did
> >   you get here"?
> >
> >   She said, "I rowed from the other side of the island. I
> >   landed on this island when my cruise ship sank" "Amazing",
> >   he said, "I didn't know anyone else had survived. How many
> >   of you are there? Where, did you get the rowboat? You must
> >   have been really lucky to have a rowboat wash-up with you?"
> >
> >   "It is only me", she said, "and the rowboat didn't wash up,
> >   nothing else did."
> >
> >   "Well then", said the man, "how did you get the rowboat?" I
> >   made the rowboat out of raw material that I found on the
> >   island, replied the woman. The oars were whittled from Gum
> >   tree branches, I wove the bottom from Palm branches, and the
> >   sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree".
> >
> >   "But, but, asked the man, what about tools and hardware, how
> >   did you do that?"
> >
> >   "Oh, no problem, replied the woman, on the south side of the
> >   island there is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock
> >   exposed.
> >
> >   I found that If I fired it to a certain temperature in my
> >   kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. I used that for
> >   tools, and used the tools to make the hardware. But, enough
> >   of that, she said. Where do you live?"
> >
> >   At last the man was forced to confess that he had been
> >   sleeping on the beach. "Well, let's row over to my place,
> >   she said." So they both got into the rowboat and left for
> >   her side of island.
> >
> >   The woman easily rowed them around to a wharf that led to
> >   the approach to her place. She tied up the rowboat with a
> >   beautifully woven hemp rope. They walked up a stone walk and
> >   around a Palm tree, there stood an exquisite bungalow
> >   painted in blue and white.
> >
> >   "It's not much, she said, but I call it home. Sit down
> >   please, would you like to have a drink?" "No, said the man,
> >   one more coconut juice and I will puke."
> >
> >   "It won't be coconut juice, the woman replied, I have a
> >   still, how about a Pina Colada? Trying to hide his continued
> >   amazement, the man accepted, and they sat down on her couch
> >   to talk.
> >
> >   After a while, and they had exchanged their stories, the
> >   woman asked, "Tell me, have you always had a beard?" "No",
> >   the man replied, "I was clean shaven all of my life, and
> >   even on the cruise ship". "Well if you would like to shave,
> >   there is a man's razor upstairs in the cabinet in the
> >   bathroom." So, the man, no longer questioning anything, went
> >   upstairs to the bath room. There in the cabinet was a razor
> >   made from a bone handle, two shells honed to a hollow ground
> >   edge were fastened on to its end inside of a swivel
> >   mechanism. The man shaved, showered and went back down
> >   stairs..
> >
> >   "You look great, said the woman, I think I will go up and
> >   slip into something more comfortable." So she did.
> >
> >   And, the man continued to sip his Pina Colada. After a short
> >   time, the woman returned wearing fig leafs strategically
> >   positioned and smelling faintly of gardenia.
> >
> >   "Tell me, she asked, we have both been out here for a very
> >   long time with no companionship. You know what I mean. Have
> >   you been lonely, is there anything that you really miss?
> >   Something that all men and women need. Something that it
> >   would be really nice to have right now."
> >
> >   "Yes there is, the man replied, as he moved closer to the
> >   woman while fixing a winsome gaze upon her, "Tell me ... Do
> >   you happen to have an Internet connection?"
> >
> >
> >
> Eric C. Bramblett, Attorney 
> [email-masked]
> Austin TX
> 
> 
>

---

From: Tom Vincent <[email-masked]>
Date: Wed, 17 Apr 1996 22:29:12 -0500 (CDT)

Sorry folks. I thought it pretty close to the earlier discussion of what 
would you do if lost in the woods. I'll keep my attempts at humor of the 
group from now on. Tom