I was 11, skinny dipping with relatives out in California, trying not to care that everyone could see my penis. I saw this blue string hanging out of my cousin's vagina, which totally confused me because no one else seemed to notice. The only thing I coul d think of was that a piece of her underwear had gotten stuck inside her. The idea really embarrassed me, but I figured that everyone was being polite so she wouldn't feel bad, and I didn't say anything either. It took me ten years to figure out what that string really was.
In 4th grade they showed us what tampons, pads and belts were. There were these big pads, and this thing with a belt around it; it was so fucking involved, like a girdle. I remember seeing that and going "ewwwww!"
My grandmother gave me a medical text she had checked out from the YMCA library, told me to read it and closed the door. I don't remember much, except that it had pictures of these twisted, diseased penises and I thought they looked really scary (I'd neve r seen a penis before). When I came out, she asked if I had any questions. I asked, "Is this what 'fuck' means?" She said yes, but that's not the nice word for it. When I got home there was a humongous box of mini-pads in my bathroom.
I had my first contact with menstruation the first time I ever had vaginal sex in tenth grade. It was dark, but afterwards, in the light, I noticed there was blood everywhere. I became convinced I had broken my girlfriend. How was I going to explain it to her parents?
We all read Judy Blume's Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret in elementary school, and at summer camp I remember hearing the other girls talk about having vaginal discharge, which was supposed to be a precursor to starting your period. I hid under the co vers in my bed and cried because I wasn't having discharge!
I remember asking "What do you do if the tampons fall out, Mom?"
When I started, Mom was out of town. I was 11 and Dad said it was too early; my sisters didn't start until they were 14. He told me to remain calm and went to the store to get "supplies." (He's the one who needed to calm down.) He returned with one of eac h brand so I could decide which I liked best, then he helped me read the instructions. He was so embarrassed and supportive but later that night I heard him tell Mom, "Why couldn't she have been a boy? It would have been a much simpler day!"
I was very young when my mother sat my brother and me down for the big heart to heart on the birds and the bees. Maybe I wasn't listening or I was too overwhelmed by the whole thing but I was totally confused about where exactly the blood was supposed to come out. After that, I cried and had nightmares about bleeding out my butt!
My best friend in the fifth grade told me what a period was: "It's when a girl can have a baby but doesn't. Blood comes out instead."
One night when I was about seven, my parents had some friends over for a drink and my little brother whipped out a tampon from my mother's purse and started "smoking" it. The folks thought this was a real riot, naturally, but I just figured it was the bub bly talkin'.
My parents didn't tell me anything. When I started to bleed I thought I had cancer and was going to die. I didn't tell anyone. When it stopped after three days I was thrilled that I was going to live.
I was really jealous of how my best girlfriend found out. Her parents were really open with their sexuality - her mom always sat in the nude to put on her makeup. One day Karen saw a tampon string coming out and asked her mom why it was there. Her mom tol d her all about it and took her in the bathroom for a demonstration of how everything worked. When Karen started - at school - she called her mom, who took the day off from work and picked her up. They shopped for supplies, went to lunch and had a sort of "you're a woman now" celebration day together.
One summer night when I was about five, my family was visiting some friends down the street and I noticed my mom had a big red spot on her white cotton skirt where her bottom was. I burst out laughing and screamed "Mom! You sat in your wine!"
When I was 10, I looked under the counter in my parents' bathroom for some toilet paper and found my mom's box of Kotex. There was one of those belt things in the box, with webbing and plastic clips, a very uncomfortable-looking thing. I had it in my hand s and my mom came into the bathroom, looked at me like I'd done something wrong and said, "Boys don't need to know about these things."