Subject: ~{;]LXB|!$4YJ90.5DGi8PTv3$~} To Make Love Grow, Ardis Whitman

From: [email-masked] (yong luo)
Date: Mon, 3 May 1993 16:39:33 GMT

促使爱的情感增长                   To Make Love Grow

在这个争夺、奋斗、动荡的年代里，       In this scrabbling,striving,frantic
人们可以通过特殊的途径促使这无与   times there are special ways whereby we
伦比的天赋（爱的情感）至臻成熟．   can bring this matchless gift to 
．．．其实，爱绝不会自动产生，即   maturity.
使对于象我父母那样爱得自然的人，     In fact, love never just happens --
爱也不是自动产生的．但我认为有一   not even to people who seem as naturely
种非常适合爱的情感的气氛，这种生   loving as my mother and father. But 
活方式能够促成爱这个无与伦比的天   there is, I think, a climate that is 
赋达到成熟的地步．                 best for love -- a way of living that
                                       hastens the maturity of this matchless
                                       gift.
首先，爱需要时间．可能会有人一见       First, love needs time. Perhaps 
钟情，然而，成熟的爱就象树一样，   people can fall in love in a moment, but
要经过一个从在地下种子里萌动到长   mature love is like a tree, moving slowly
成枝叶茂盛的大树的缓慢过程．人也   from the seed in the ground to the 
需要时间去加深感情，去理解对方不   sheltering splendor of its prime. People
同的个性，去分享对方的喜乐，去分   need time to deepen their affection, to
担对方的痛苦．…当友情由于起初受   appreciate one another's differentness, 
到一点伤害就动摇时，都是很痛苦的； to share one another's joys and griefs.
因为这样一来，我们就失去了一种伟大 ...when friendships falter at the first
的艺术品，即长久的爱．             injury, for thus we forfeit a great work
                                       of art --- the long love.

每个人的生活都应该为这样的爱留下一     Everyone's life should have room for
席之地，为了这种爱，即使花费相当多 such loves, loves for whom it is worth
我们认为是花不起的时间也是值得的． risking sizable pieces of time we think
                                       we can't spare.

一旦容忍了所爱的人的不同性格，我们     When we accept the differences of 
就会发现：正是这些不同的性格造就了 loved ones, we find that those very
人与人关系的神奇感．想找到完美的人 differences provide the mystery and 
的念头是非常可笑的；世界上根本不存 wonder of human relationships. It's 
在完美的人，其关键在于认识人们的不 foolish to expect perfection; it doesn't
同并从中得到乐趣．                 exist. The key is to recognize and enjoy
                                       our differences.
                                       
爱的情感的滋长还需要另一种难以捉摸    To grow, love needs another, more
的东西，即放手让对方自由自在的能力． elusive quality -- the abilty to let
                                         go.

最后，爱的情感还需要语言去实现．如     Finally, love needs words to make it
果没有语言，互相之间的不和就不能消 real. Without words, quarrels can't be
除，相互间的反感也不能表面化，我们 resolved, resentment can't come to the
就失去了分享生活意义的能力．情感的 surface, we lose the power to share the 
交流有许多方法．重要的是要承认感情 meaning of our lives. There are many ways
表达感情．如果我们既不承认也不表达 of communcating. The important thing is 
感情，那么我们的感情就不会被别人理 to acknowledge and express our feelings.
解，而我们自己也失去了表达感情所带 If we don't, we deprive others of the 
来的乐趣．                         knowledge of our love and ourselves of 
                                       the joy that comes from expressing it.

爱的情感不是一种单一的举动，而是一     Love is not a single act, but a  
种我们生活于其中的气氛，是一种终身 climate in which we live, a lifetime  
都拿不准的行为过程，我们总是在其中 venture in which we are always learning,
学习，在其中发现，在其中成长．爱的 discovering, growing. It is not destroyed
情感不会因为一失败而毁灭；也不会由 by a single failure, or won by a single
于一次爱抚而得到．爱的情感是一种气 caress. Love is a climate -- a climate 
氛－－－一种心心相印的气氛．       of the heart.

-- 

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Yong Luo 罗勇
Dept. of Electrical Engineering
University of British Columbia
Vancouver, B.C. Canada
E-mail: [email-masked]
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