Mommy, Mommy! What's an Oedipus complex? Shut up and kiss me! 
Mommy, Mommy! Whats an orgasm?I don't know dear, ask your father. 
Mommy, Mommy! The milkmans here; have you got the money or should I go out an play? 
Mommy, Mommy! Can I lick the bowl? mom: Shut up and flush. 
Mommy, Mommy! Daddy puked! mom: Shut up and get a fork, before your sister gets all the big chunks! 
Mommy, Mommy! How do lions make love? mom: I don't know dear, all your father's friends are rotarians... 
Mommy, Mommy! Can I wear a bra now? I'm 16.. mom: Shut up, Albert.... 
Mommy, Mommy! Can I go to the toilet? mom: Yes Johnny I'll take you in a minute. son: Can Granny take me? mom: Why? son: Her hand shakes. 
Mommy, Mommy! the kids next door are calling me a three headed dragon. mom: There, there, now don't you worry - three heads are better than one! 
Mommy, Mommy! My head hurts! mom: Shut up and get away from the dart board! 
Mommy, Mommy! My teacher says my head is too big. mom: Shut up and get your hat from the garage, so your father can bring the car in! 
Mommy, Mommy, why do other kids tell me I have a big head? mom: Don't worry about them. Now take your cap and go get me 40 lbs of potatoes at the store. 
Mommy, mommy, can I lick the bowl? mom: Shut up and flush. 
Mommy, mommy, I hate you mom: Shut up or I'll eat you. 
Mummy, mummy, please can I have a spoon? mom: Yes of course dear. Why do you want the spoon? son: Because Daddy's been sick, and the cat's getting all the big bits 
Mommy, Mommy! I don't want to empty the compost heap. mom: Shut up and chew! 
Mommy, Mommy! Daddy's on fire! mom: Shut up and get the marshmallows! 
Mommy, Mommy! Daddy fell in the campfire! mom: Shut up and get the barbecue sauce! 
Mommy, Mommy! Is this the way to make pickles? mom: Shut up and get back in the barrel! 
Mommy, Mommy! Daddy went through the meat grinder! mom: Shut up and eat your hamburger! 
Mommy, Mommy! I've lost my fingers! mom: Shut up and eat your french fries! 
Mommy, Mommy! There's something in daddy's eye! mom: Shut up and eat around it.  
mom: Come upstairs, son, like a good boy. son: No, Mommy, you'll only throw me down again. 
