Personal Information About the Author
The Blue Elephant - why this site was created
Photo Essay- Perceptions - my story
Photo Essay- Soft Glass - my thoughts while creating this site
Art Work- Drawings by the author
You fear a cage because you have known dignity.
Your chains are in your heart.
You must free yourself.
Past the mission, behind the prison tower...I once knew how to get out [sic]
"Someone was hurt before you.....beaten before you; humiliated before you; raped before you; yet someone survived." Maya Angelou
"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has." Margaret Mead
"There is no agony like bearing an untold story inside of you." Maya Angelou
"you may trod me down in history with your twisted bitter lies you may trod me in the very dirt but still, like dust, i'll rise" Maya Angelou
"Most men live lives of quiet desperation"
"The thing about having something hidden in your past is that you spend every minute of the future building a wall that makes the monsters harder to see. You convince yourself that the wall is sturdy and thick, and one day, when you wakeup and the horrible thing does not immediately jump into your mind, you give yourself the freedom to pretend that it is well and truly gone. Which only makes it that much more painful when something like it happens again, and you learn the concrete wall is really as transparent as glass and twice as fragile."- Jodi Piccoult Keeping faith
"Darkness cannot drive out darkness only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that." Christ / Martin Luther King jr.
"The damaged are dangerous, they know they can survive." Anonymous
"A human being is part
of a whole, called by us the "Universe," a part limited in time
and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something
separated from the rest--a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness.
This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal
desires and to affection for a few persons nearest us. Our task must be
to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circles of compassion
to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its
A woman's walking along, minding
her own business, when she falls into a hole. The sides are too steep
& she can't climb out.
A doctor walks by & she calls
up, "Hey, can you help me - I'm stuck down here" The doctor
writes out a prescription, throws it into the hole & walks on.
A priest walks by & she calls
up, "Please, I'm down here & need help" The priest writes
out a prayer, tosses it down to her & walks on.
Next a survivor walks by &
she calls out "Please, I'm stuck & I can't get out". The
survivor jumps down with her. The woman cries "What did you do, now
we're both stuck down here"
*jumps down into the hole*
For everything there is a season,
If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood. I'd type a little faster. Isaac Asimov
Let children walk with Nature, let them see the beautiful blendings and communions of death and life, their joyous inseparable unity, as taught in woods and meadows, plains and mountains and streams of our blessed star, and they will learn that death is stingless indeed, and as beautiful as life.
Beth could not reason upon or explain the faith that gave her courage and patience to give up life, and cheerfully wait for death. Like a confiding child, she asked no questions, but left everything to God and nature, Father and Mother of us all, feeling sure that they, and they only, could teach and strengthen heart and spirit for this life and the life to come.
Louisa May Alcott
in Little Women, chapter 36
Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and celebrate the journey! Barbara Hoffman
Thank you to my family for being very loving and supportive. (Mom, Dad, Sister etc.)
I love you.
I would like this website to remain online indefinitely should anything happen to me.
About the kitty on the home page:
That is a drawing of the cat Tenacity. Tenacity is a very regal looking siamese sidewalk cat who happens to be my kitty's mother. She was the most dignified and muscular cat I've ever known. She had beautiful blue eyes and eyebrows that formed the letter 'w' when she was worried. We fed her while she was pregnant and still living in the back yard. I have a feeling she had a very hard life. She snuck into the house one night and in the morning my mother let her back out. She kept trying to get back inside rather urgently. Later my mother heard noises from the closet and thought it was a mouse. She went to clean it out and found Luna. A single, perfect kitten. Tenacity got back into the house. She was determined that Luna grow up to become an inside cat instead of a sidewalk kitty. Everytime she went outside she hid Luna behind a peice of furniture we couldn't move until she came back to feed her. I was the only person she would let pick Luna up. When Luna was five weeks old we realized she had NEVER been outside in her whole life. We put her down in the grass and she was terrified. Her mother marched right over, picked her up and carried her back inside. Eventually it came time for Luna to find a home. I couldn't bear to see them seperated so I adopted Luna and took her to my apartment. I don't think Tenacity ever really got over not having Luna's constant companionship but they had weekends and summers. I put her image on the site because it takes alot of persistance to speak out about rape, advocate for victim's rights and to heal. I think of her as a protective presence. She was very strong but she never bit or scratched anyone. She just wanted to survive and be a Mom. When I was struggling to become a survivor myself she would come and visit me and sit with me. Not everyone was nice to her or understood her because she didn't quite understand what humans wanted from her. What she did understand was suffering and how to prevail against the odds and the set backs. I want more from my life than to learn how not to upset the furniture. I want to make it better for the survivors who must make their way after me. I think that's what most of us want.
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Rape Crisis Information Pathfinder, UNC Chapel Hill, N.C., http://www.ibiblio.org/rcip/