I collected most of this glass at the lakefront with my friend Adrian.  She's the first person I called when i knew I was ready to talk.
She's also one of the people who's story let me know I was not alone in the path my life took post rape.  It took me five years of very sharp and jagged glass to
learn what it takes to soften the edges.  This glass was worn by water until it doesn't cut anymore.  It will never go away, but it will hurt less over time.
I kept it in my pocket for a few days.  She gave me a little tupper ware thing to hold it in.  She was going to give it to good will.  It was in the back of her car.
More bad things happened and I realized objects couldn't protect me.  Only I can protect me.  So I did and then I felt better.
When i got back home, I went to the rape crisis center.  They told me what i was just figuring out.  My story is common.
I thought i had a private hell, but really more than a quarter of all women live through this.
I thought it was odd that two of my closest friends had been raped as virgins
and then branded as sluts and called a liar.

When the second girl told me her story something just clicked in my head.  That's what happened to me.
There must be a pattern.

I went to the crisis center for safety really.  I am so used to being attacked for "what" I am.  I wanted a headquarters to go to be safe.

They gave me this book.  Quest for Respect by Linda Braswell.  I recognized what phase of healing i was in and that it is normal to be angry or in denial.  I knew how to explain myself to people who didn't understand my behaviour..
"I'm in my survivor phase".

It makes sense if you know what to expect.  No one wants to hear about it so no one knows what to expect and not enough healing goes on.

So anyway, I just wanted to tell my story.
This is the one that interests me right now.
here are some links if you want to find out more:

These are the most prominent and well rounded sites I have found.  If you are only going to visit one or two sites for an overview I would recommend one of the following:


The premier source of information and support to survivors on the internet serving nearly 1 million hits yearly through it's page and message views in the chat rooms, forums and of course, the main site itself.


The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) is the nation's largest anti-sexual assault organization. RAINN created and operates the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1.800.656.HOPE. RAINN also publicizes the hotline's free, confidential services; educates the public about sexual assault; and leads national efforts to improve services to victims and ensure that rapists are brought to justice.


"Welcome to Barbados* is a Tori Amos inspired site for rape and sexual abuse survivors. In the following pages, you will find my story as well as the stories of hundreds of other courageous survivors. I hope to provide for each visitor a safe place to learn, teach, and grow. What is said may be triggering; please stay safe while exploring this site, and I wish you the best of luck in healing. -shannon"


"Welcome to emergence. survivors of sexual violation, their friends and family, and anyone else who wants to be supportive, helpful, and respectful of this sacred space is thoroughly welcome here. please come with an open mind and an open heart. in creating this place,
i hope that somehow, at sometime, someone else finds a piece of their own strength and determination, and sees in the mirror their
own beautiful reflection."


This site takes you to a search engine for webrings.  Just enter the word rape in the search box and it will show you the categories. 
Webrings are groupings of websites which associate with each other.

Information on healing from rape - a safe search

Be careful searching google.  I have provided some links to safe searches for rape healing sites.  Unfortunately you have to do an
advanced search for rape with out the word pornography or you will pull up inappropriate material.


What can you expect after a person has been raped?
In most cases
these symptoms prevent rape victims from functioning at full capacity and helping themselves.  It's important at this time for others to give their support and help protect them


What not to say to a rape victim


How to help rape victims and the stages of trauma.
recommended by the founder (on a message board). You can also order a paper copy.


RAINN how to help rape victims. How can I help a friend who has been sexually assaulted?


Understanding Rape
Rape is a complex experience. The therapist, of a survivor of rape, should be aware of different factors that shape the survivor's experience. However, the therapist must not only view the survivor in the context of the individual, but also in the context of community.  It is an injustice to survivors, to not become aware of the societal and experiential determinants that shape the reactions of a survivor.

End Abuse Campaigns: Reaching Men
Coaching Boys into Men

Thanks for reading.  Hope you learned something that helps you or someone else one day.

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