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That's me. My real name is Will Hines, but don't tell anyone. I like to pretend that Bradford and Will are two different people. I'm that bored. Anyway, I started Spite in December 1996 as an act of vanity and as a way to learn HTML. I'm a young (well, sort of young -- born in September 1970), lazy, pot-bellied member of the ruling class who lives in Manhattan, earns a living as a web "programmer", and spends too much time reading comic books. As Bradford, I've written about Yoko Ono, Alanis Morisette, Buddy Holly, John Glenn, dead fat people, dead famous people, Tony Danza. President Clinton's sex life, Canada's banality, Marvel Comics and hiding from the Man. As Will, I've written about my home run, getting older, bouncing checks, the near-death of Spite, my astounding wealth, reading War and Peace, Microsoft, the stock market, Hanson, the great site unamerican.com,
buying Star Wars tickets,
cool things ruined, drugs, comedy, and my knowledge of the Beatles.
Kevin, the middle Hines and an SAP programmer (we don't know what that is) in his early twenties, ascended to his position within Spite by being related to me and for reading Spite regularly. Although he has written about stuff like El Nino, Saddam Hussein, and working out, his thoughts revolve almost exclusively around comics books and cartoons, as evidenced in his piece on The Flash. Kevin is also the writer, artist and producer of the epic comic strip Bitter Guy.
Completing the triangle of nepotism, youngest Hines brother Brian has written for Spite since soon after its inception. Rapidly closing out his college years, he has unhealthy obsessions with Lionel Richie songs, Kevin Smith movies and Jennifer Love Hewitt. He's written about liking gay things, Star Wars, retiring, coming back,
Matt Damon, Noel Gallagher, Jimmy Buffett, Bugs Bunny, college registration and jerk fans of cool bands.
Practically a trust-fund baby, Clark is a spoiled New York City brat wrote about, well, being spoiled.
Sam can't stand Daylight Savings Time.
Look at a particular graphic in Spite. If it looks like shit, I did it. If it looks professional, you can thank Paolo.
JD is a web programmer, a very funny guy, and an astute observer of movies. He wrote Private Ryan's D-Cup Day.
Patient, simmering, and midwestern, Audrey wrote about technical support.
A late-twenties Massachusetts resident, and another one of the Spite staff from UConn, Jim is one of the few Spite writers to tackle subjects which truly anger him. He wrote the epic Das Spot, as well as pieces on the Ellen "coming-out" episode, taxes and hypocrites. He also susbcribes to a magazine called Bassmaster.
Moira M. Fhinneachta
After weeks of fuming, journalist Moira M. Fhinneachta wrote about unrequited love. She probably didn't know that anyone would publish it.
F. Amos Jester
F. Amos Jester is a 33-year-old resident of southern Connecticut who wrote about how much you suck and America's responsibility to other countries' AIDS problems.
A friend of mine from the University of Connecticut, Greg can mimic the batting stance of each member of the 1981 Boson Red Sox. He has written about the Red Sox (oddly enough, eh?), the Winter Olympics and Huey Lewis.
Too smart to be associated with this outfit, Mass Media'd hides herself on Cape Cod, roots for the Yankees and wrote about mass media.
This guy is another self-described spoiled brat. He wrote about pretentious philosophy students, and has his own web page, to boot.
Blunt, fearless, wise and Canadian, Julie writes an advice column for Spite. She also wrote about a bad week and an even worse date. She works in the admissions department of some Canadian university, is true child of the 80's, and likes to quote Freddie Mercury.
Nancy J.Z. Nicholas
Raised in Rhode Island, Nancy is a journalist who hates snobs.
He's not famous, he doesn't ski, but Bucknell University student Chris Parent cares deeply about famous skiers.
A midwestern college student, Horatio got dumped.
Mark is a long-time Spite reader. He also contributed the very fine article Should Alan Thicke Be Killed?, requested the apocalypse, and made fun of hurricane victims.
Spite's elder statesman, Stadley is a part-time professor at a New York City college. When he cares to venture out of his smoky downtown loft, he gives me valuable advice on the development of Spite. He has written about sucky pop music and Patrick Ewing.
This British university student has written about Mutley and happy endings.
A paleontologist, Talia has written about The Relic and vandalism. She likes 80s music, too.
Meredith hates planning for New Year's eve. She ain't shy about complaining.
Bitter, but instructive, this college sophomore has written a lot of stuff for Spite. Unlike Will's pieces, each of the following is actually a full-fledged article. She pisses us off, but she's pretty damn funny. She wrote Unabomber: Not That Bad A Guy, The Art of the Grudge, and pieces about rejection, evolution and tits and ass in the music industry.
James "Brutal" Williamson
James noted that Democracy was dead and that northerners can't take the heat. He is a married hedonistic activist.
This entire site was her idea to start with. At one point, she thought I sold out.
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