Presenting every article ever published in Spite Magazine, starting with the most recent.
 
 
  2002 - 4th Quarter
10/4 Win A Date With Brian
 
  2002 - 3rd Quarter
8/29 Boston Red Sox: This Is Their Year (2002 edition) by Kevin Hines and Will Hines
8/16 The Day I Was Called Spider-Man
by Brian Hines with photos by Doug DeMarco
 
  2002 - 2nd Quarter
4/22 500 Words: Third Wheel by Brian Hines
 
  2002 - 1st Quarter
3/26 Death, Tang, and Fetuses: The Collected Works of Zalvidar Jones Edited by Kevin Hines
3/18 Hey Ray Allen, Will You Be My Best Man? by Brian Hines
3/7 A Hair-owing Experience by Kevin and Brian Hines
2/5 Rock Around The Suck by Brian Hines
1/28 Baseball's Greatest Team Ever, Ever! by Brian and Kevin Hines
 
  2001 - 4th Quarter
 
12/12 Name That Man-Breast
 
11/6 You Are Not The Yankees by Brian Hines
Appropriate Bonuses For Curt Schilling by Will Hines
10/30 Comeback Fever: Meadowlark Lemon by Brian Hines
 
10/23 The Scientific Method by Brian Hines
 
10/23 Editor's Welcome by Will Hines
 
  2001 - 3rd Quarter
9/18 Boston Red Sox: This Is Their Year (2001 edition) by Kevin Hines, Will Hines and Greg Lancaster
 
  2000 - 4th Quarter
11/8 Election Special: The Election Results Are Getting Hayes-y by Will Hines
11/7 Whither the Token Babe? by Will Hines
 
11/1 My Father Is Batman by Brian Hines
 
  2000 - 3rd Quarter
9/22 Boston Red Sox: This Is Their Year (2000 edition) by Will Hines, Kevin Hines and Greg Lancaster
8/11 Not In The Swing Of Things by Brian Hines
 
  2000 - 2nd Quarter
5/8 Sensitive by Carrie Stewart
4/6 An Open Letter to Satan Regarding Louie Anderson by Brian and Will Hines
 
  2000 - 1st Quarter
 
2/17 Home Pages a tour of Will Hines' home
 
  1999 - 4th Quarter
12/14 Yes, Rob Thomas, There Is A Santana Claus by Brian Hines
12/2 The Newark Peppers Kick Ass by Brian Hines
 
  1999 - 3rd Quarter
9/28 Boston Red Sox: This Is Their Year (1999 edition) by Will Hines, Kevin Hines and Greg Lancaster
9/24 500 Words: Remembering Patton by Jim Foster
9/20 I Was a Bigger Loser Than I Thought by Brian Hines
 
9/15 Drug Addiction and Withdrawal by Will Hines
 
8/31 Hurricanes: Hey South-- Eat it. by Mark Richardson
 
8/19 My Friends and I Might As Well Be Gay by Brian Hines
 
7/15 Otherwise Cool Things Ruined By Their Irritating Fans (A Spite List) by Will Hines
7/9 The Heat: An Open Letter to the North by James Williamson
 
  1999 - 2nd Quarter
6/29 Two Honest Looks at Star Wars: Episode I by Brian Hines and Bill Bellamy
6/18 Dating Al Dente: Stealth Boy by KillerQueen
5/25 All Comedy Falls Into One of Three Categories by Will Hines
5/20 The End of The Line: Buying Star Wars Tickets in Just 15 Hours. by Will Hines
 
  1999 - 1st Quarter
2/26 Bring On The Asteroid by Mark Richardson
2/3 Dating Al Dente: The Guy Who Cracked His Head Open by KillerQueen
1/27 Brian Returns
    (and the staff's reaction)
1/20 Brian Retires From Spite Magazine
    (Including his resignation letter, the staff's reaction, and a retrospective.)
 
  1998 - 4th Quarter
12/16 Dreams of Old Sweaty Fat Women by Adam Fuller
12/10 The Unemployment of the NBA by Brian Hines
12/1 Dating Al Dente: The Guy Who Jumped Out of My Car by KillerQueen
11/17 Democracy Is Dead by James Williamson
11/10 "Eros Is Like, Sooo Cool..." by Adam Mathes
11/4 Unamerican.com: The Truth in 5 Words or Less Interview by Will Hines
10/29 Forget John Glenn; Bring On The Geeks! by Bradford Contemporary
 
  1998 - 3rd Quarter
 
9/10 The Will Hines Home Run Race by Will Hines
 
9/9 Boston Red Sox: This Is Their Year by Greg Lancaster
9/1 Don't Ask Me: Yet Even More Advice For The Forlorn by KillerQueen
8/25 Jimmy Buffett: Fess Up Or Grow Up by Brian Hines
 
8/11 I Wish I Was Bald And Fat by Will Hines
 
8/4 Private Ryan's D-Cup Day by JD
8/4 Should Alan Thicke Be Killed? by Mark Richardson
7/21 Hey, Third World: Quit Bitchin' by F. Amos Jester
 
  1998 - 2nd Quarter
6/23 Ben Affleck: I've Got Your Back by Brian Hines
6/16 Survival of the Un-Fittest by Jill Waldbieser
6/9 500 Word Rant: You Really Suck by F. Amos Jester
 
6/2 Paul McCartney: My Next Piece of Ass by Yoko Ono. Maybe.
 
5/19 Rejection by Jill Waldbieser
4/21 An Open Letter To Carol Ann Weston,
Who Suggested I Misquoted the Beatles,
But Was Wrong
by Will Hines
4/7 Time Waits For No Man; But It Should by Samuel Barks
 
  1998 - 1st Quarter
3/31 500 Word Rant: A Bit of A Bad Week by Julie Pocock
3/24 Hiding From The Man by Bradford Contemporary
3/17 Don't Ask Me: Even More Advice For The Forlorn by KillerQueen
3/17 500 Word Rant: The Jewel Syndrome by Jill Waldbieser
3/10 Vandalism by Talia Sher
3/3 Don't Ask Me: More Advice For The Forlorn by KillerQueen
3/3 The Art of the Grudge by Jill Waldbieser
2/24 Don't Ask Me: Advice For The Forlorn by KillerQueen
2/24 Don't Ask Me: Introduction by KillerQueen
 
2/17 I Should Ov Been In Fooking Titanic by Noel Gallagher
 
2/17 500 Word Rant: Figure Skating: Move It Or Luge It by Greg Lancaster
2/17 The War to Finish War and Peace documented by Will Hines
2/10 500 Word Rant: Celibacy by Chris Sharp
2/10 If You Can't Fix My EMail,
Could You Mow My Lawn?
by Audrey Duede
2/3 The Unabomer: Not That Bad A Guy by Jill Waldbieser
2/3 Shut Up And Take It Like A Man by Jim Foster
1/27 The President Should Be Allowed
To Score Some 'Tang
by Bradford Contemporary
1/27 The Hazards of Downhill Skiing While Famous by Chris Parent
1/20 500 Word Rant: We Think Saddam Is Dumb, Too! by Kevin Hines
1/13 The Hoax that is El Niño by Kevin Hines
1/6 How Noel Gallagher Saved Spite by Will Hines
 
  1997 - 4th Quarter
12/30 500 Word Rant: New Year's Eve Sucks by Meredith Trotta
12/23 John Popper is Now the Most Likely
Famous Fat Guy to Die
by Bradford Contemporary
12/16 500 Word Rant: Sandy by Horatio Poundstone
12/09 The Trauma of the Spoiled Rich White Kid by Clark Adams
12/2 500 Word Rant: Rasherfrashersnasher by Chris Sharp
11/25 The Mathematics of Celebrity Death by Bradford Contemporary
11/18 Save Basketball: Ban Patrick Ewing by Stadley Rough
11/18 The Redesign is Great! by Will Hines
The Redesign Sucks. by Claire Delaware
 
10/8 The Flash Does NOT Fly! by Kevin Hines.
 
 
  1997 - 3rd Quarter
9/28 An Open Letter to Tony Danza by Bradford Contemporary
9/26 500 Word Rant: No New Taxes by Jim Foster
9/22 How I Stuck It To The Man by Will Hines
     Stick It To The Man -- The Game! by the editors
     Who is the Man? by Bradford Contemporary
8/19 500 Word Rant: Regarding Huey by Greg Lancaster
8/12 500 Word Rant: Eye of the Tired by Kevin Hines
8/4 DAS SPOT by Jim Foster (a rebuttal by Alex Isgut)
7/30 Blown Away by "The Relic" by Talia Sher
 
  1997 - 2nd Quarter
6/18 A Rabbit Spurned by Brian Hines
6/6 No Logos (why I learned to hate Microsoft) by Will Hines
5/17 500 Word Rant: The Ellen Episode by Jim Foster
5/5 Stop Hanson: The MMMBop Meter by Will Hines
5/5 Canada Is Maine by Will Hines
4/15 500 Word Rant: College Registration by Brian Hines
4/15 Down with the Dow by Will Hines
4/15 Mass Media Mediocre by Mass Media'd
4/11 On Being Filthy Rich by Will Hines
 
  1996 - The Beginning
12/10 Alanis M. cover
12/9 I Hate Alanis Morissette by Bradford Contemporary
12/9 Buddy Holly: A Mean S.O.B. by Bradford Contemporary
12/9 All Records Suck by Stadley Rough
12/9 When Good Bands Get Jerk Fans by Tyler Wilkes
12/9 Lighten Up, Francis by Nancy Nicholas
12/9 500 Word Rant: FIVEHUNDREDWORDRANT by Moira M. Fhinneachta
12/9 The Traitorous Trader by Bradford Contemporary
12/9 Editor's Welcome by Bradford Contemporary
Other Stuff
Editor's Notes by Will and Kevin
One paragraph essays. You will not believe how cool these are.


Bitter Guy by Kevin
GREAT comic strip by Kevin which still lives on at the Platypus Comics web site.


Comics Improv by Kevin and Will
Kevin drew it and Will wrote the balloons. It was brilliant but Will got lazy.