I reproduce below the editorial
in "Sri Vedantha Desika Vidya" (2nd issue dated July 2007) a monthly
journal . The Editor was
previously editor of "Sri Hayagriva Priya"
>From the Editor (Of "Sri Vedantha Desika Vidya")
Recently I had the occasion to attend the betrothal of a Christian
bride. Relatives of both sides have assembled in the hall of the three
star hotel. Elders were seated in the dais. The Christian Father was
there. The bride and bride groom were placed in two different places.
The Father was holding the prayer and then announcing the betrothal
according to their holy texts and customs. At the end of the ceremony,
some elderly members of the family requested the Father to permit the
bride and bride groom to take a seat on the dais. The Father stoutly
refused by saying "Not sanctioned by Bible." Every one obeyed and kept
quiet. The members of the bride and bride groom are economically and
socially well placed. But, the Father had the commitment to stick on to
his stand when it comes to the custom of religious practices. The bride
and bride groom join before the Altar during the marriage in the Church
and then a reception is held at a convenient hall. The marriage is
purely Christian function and they extend invitations for the post
marriage Reception to all. Among Moslem's, the bride didn't even look
at the bride groom's face till the marriage is over. Both the religions
are very rigid in their marriage customs.
But in our Hindu society, the recent trend of holding marriage
reception prior to real marriage is one such instance where convenience
takes precedence over customs. The idea of the bride and bride groom
joining together and getting the greetings of the visitors even before
they are recognized as husband and wife , at a promised marriage is not
sounding well. If cost of expenses in the marriage is the real reason
for such pre-marriage receptions, the we should have alternative ways
of celebrating the marriages. Marriages could be performed in holy
centers and reception in their place of living on any convenient date,
and this will definitely reduce the overall cost apart from providing a
homely atmosphere.
I was surprised at the command of the Father in the betrothal I
have mentioned. In the Hindu society, more so in Sri Vaishnava Society neither the Bruhaspathis have the commitment
nor the Grahasthas have the
respect for either theBruhaspathi or the religious customs.We find a
lot of changes to the convenience of Bruhaspathis
as well as grahasthas. The
trend is alarming and every thing looks farce. There should be some
real inward rethinking . We waste a lot of money in marriage food. The
austerity has gone to winds. Luxury has set in. Every family vies with
each other in marriage spending. This is highly alarming. Heavy hall
rents, cooks bills coming to several lakhs and the total expense for
any middle class marriage running to several lakhs is not a healthy
sign.
In recent session, members of the Karnataka Assembly have expressed
their concern over the practice of having pre marriage receptions to
avoid hall rents for further hours on the evening of the marriage day
in Karnataka. The situation is same in Tamilnadu also. The hall rents
are exorbitant. The urge of the middle class is high to spend money o
these halls and a fancy food just for the luxury of it. The situation
is alarming. Economically they may even afford it. But should they make
mockery of the marriage mantras
----T.C. Srinivasan
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