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Oppiliappan List Archive: Message 00189 Dec 2003

 
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Dear friends,

Let us take up for study two phrases from two
different stanzas in the TiruppAvai each underlining
however the same aspect of 'satsangh':

(11) "suttratthu tOzhimAr ellArUm vandhu ...nin
muttram pUgUndhu mugil vannan pEr pAda?"
(12) "anaitthu illatthArUm arindhu?"

In the above verses there are wonderful expressions
that reveal the essentially familial character of
'satsangh'. They are: 

    "suttratthu tOzhimAr ellArUm vandhu"  and
                   
    "anaitthu illatthArUm?"

Just as "Charity begins at home", so may it be said
that home and family serve as virtual nursery for the
growth and nourishment of a "satsangh". 

The phrase "anaitthu illam" means "every household" or
"an entire family"; and "suttratthu" means "all
around". That 'satsangh' is a true one indeed, which,
goes "all around" as "one large extended family",
singing the sacred names of God ("mugilvannan pEr
pAda"). It comprises all the kith and kin of a
household ("anaitthu illam") and everyone near and
dear of every age in the family ("anaitthu
illatthArUm")?. Such is the meaning of the expression
"anaitthu illatthArUm?" and "suttratthu tOzhimAr
ellArUm vandhu?mugil vannan pEr pAda?"

The deeper message embedded in these expressions of
AndAL is a very profound one and so very relevant for
our times: 

It is a belief quite common in societies of most
countries that the "family that eats together stays
together". In India it is customary for the head of a
family to insist upon every member of the household
promptly being home for dinner. Nothing binds a family
together more firmly than sharing meal time. It is a
nice sight indeed to see a happy family seated in a
large circle around a table (or on the floor as in
India with banana leaves spread before them) enjoying
both the warmth of a hot meal as well as that of
close-knit family ties.

In modern times, however, it is becoming virtually
impossible for families to sit and dine together
except on rare festive or formal occasions -- say,
"deepavali", a wedding or else some other family
"get-together". The reasons are many. 

For one, the average family size has shrunk. "Nuclear"
families have proliferated to become the general rule
while "extended families" have become history. 

Secondly, even in small families, the hectic pulls and
pressures of modern economic life have forced
household members to adopt life-styles and habits away
from each other even while living under the same roof.
The father holds a 9-to-5 job; the brother works the
night-shift at a factory; the son attends
evening-college; the daughter is off for private
dancing lessons in the evening just when it is usual
dinner time; and the wife, above all, must watch
prime-time serials on cable TV?. No family can ever
dine together, let alone bond effectively under such
turbulent circumstances. (In fact, in many families
members dread dinner table meetings since that's when,
for some strange reason, household tempers easily
flare and family conflicts lying dormant suddenly
surface and erupt!).

Under such hectic living conditions as we face today,
it is AndAl's expression ("anaitthu illatthArUm?"
"suttratthu tOzhimAr ellArUm vandhu?"mugil vannan pEr
pAda?") that indeed holds out hope for the family. 

A family or household might not be able to dine
together to stay together, but then perhaps, it can
still bond together if only it tries to 'satsangh'
together? If all members of a family resolve to spend
time together ("anaitth-illatthArUm vandu") in happy
"satsangh" -- say, an hour at least each week --
collective worship might really succeed where "eating
together", alas, no more works. 

It is family 'satsangh', indeed, more than family
dinner, that can help homes meld and regain the warm
sense of cementing kinship that certainly appears lost
in the life-styles of modern living today.

                *************
              (to be continued)

Regards,

dAsan,
Sudarshan              





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