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SriRangaSri List Archive: Message 00046 Nov 2007

 
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Dear friends,

While in LA I learnt that Los Angeles's full name is:

"El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles
de Porciuncula". 

Even for Latinos it's more than a mouthful; not
surprisingly therefore it got abbreviated to 3.63% of
its original size viz: simply "L.A".

Talking of abbreviation, it strikes me that back in
India the typical Tamil Brahmin wedding in the good
old days -- say 40/50 years ago -- used to last for 3
long and leisurely days. Alas, today it too stands
abbreviated -- even bowdlerized, one might say -- to
almost the same level as "LA": 3.63% of the original. 

Weddings in Chennai these days have been reduced to
rather tame, business-like, boringly efficient, 
mechanical affairs. When you attend one it is plainly
obvious to you most of the guests there have turned up
because they know they are under familial or social
obligation to put in a cursory appearance; and to
return the compliment, the hosts of the wedding too --
both the groom as well as the bride's side 
-- are really in a state of nervous hurry to get it
all over with inside of a short day they wished could
be made shorter still.

The wedding of my cousin Sow. Kavita Cande (aka
'kandhAdai') in LA however, I discovered was a sweet
contrast to the ones I was all too accustomed to
seeing back in Chennai. It lasted all of 3 full
joy-filled days marked by vibrant variety, lively
music, zestful dance, garrulous gaiety reminiscent of
the leisurely proceedings of a traditional Tamil Sri
Vaishnavite wedding once upon a time I forget how many
years ago...

                  ***************

I like to think I have a clever little theory that
explains why the Tamil Sri Vaishnavite wedding today
in Chennai is such a dreary, perfunctory affair and
why, in sharp contrast, the community's weddings in
the USA, such as the one I was about to witness in far
away LA, are indeed "so much more fun!" (to use that
all-too-common, all-American term of effusive
exclamation).

The average SriVaishnavite wedding today in Chennai
may best be described as what I call a "completely
sub-contracted out event". India, the pundits say, is
today an "emerging economic super-power". This has
given a brand new status for Indians in India, one
which they quite like to wear if not flaunt on their
sleeve in all seriousness. It makes them want to look,
feel and remain always "busy" or frantic "24/7". Work
to do, Sir, they say, work, work and work ... and
money to be made too. "So no time, Sir, no time at
all".... No time therefore these days for the average
SriVaishnavite family or household in Chennai, nor the
energy, to spare for the enormous amount of tedious
nitty-gritty that goes into the planning, organizing,
delivering and celebration of a typical 3-day
SriVaishnavite wedding of the traditional format. 

So what do they do in Chennai? They "sub-contract". If
"global outsourcing", the buzzword of modern business
management everywhere, works indeed for the rest of
the world, it has begun to work for Srivaishnavites
too and nowhere else is the trend more apparent than
in the way they organize and conduct their weddings in
India.

The present-day trend in Chennai of outsourcing a
wedding event is virtually wholesale. Every task that
is considered even in remotely "onerous" or "tedious"
is contracted out to agents or "contractor" for a
pre-arranged fee. Caterers, stationers, printers,
janitors, electricians, videographers, priests,
pipers, musicians, stage and interior decorators,
beauticians, hair-dressers, clothiers and fitters,
usherettes, chauffeurs, travel-agents, receptionists,
liveried chefs and servers .... You name it and it can
be done! Every conceivable task that needs to be
accomplished to put a wedding together can now be left
to be handled by a professional "contractor" offering
specialist services in Chennai. Hosts and their
families or friends who have thus "outsourced" the
wedding proudly claim that they didn't have to "move
as much as a finger" for it and yet "it went off all
so grand!". 

Beyond dressing up for the occasion in fine silk,
jewels and perfumery, there is hardly any exertion
needed these days for conducting a modern
SriVaishnavite wedding in Chennai. We live in the age
of Globalization. Weddings can now be delivered to
families by professional "contractors" as project
turn-key for a price. It is a bit like pizza being
delivered at your doorsteps.

                  ***************

By immense contrast I saw in LA that my cousin Sow
Kavita's wedding was a wholly "in-sourced" event! 

Fortunately, I thought to myself, there are no
"contractors" or professional "event-manager" outfits
operating around Los Angeles (not yet!) with the
requisite expertise or experience in putting together
a typical SriVaishnavite wedding. So necessarily, it
was Dr Sri Cande Sridhar and his gracious wife Dr Smt
Bama Sridhar's family members, who came in from
virtually every part of the USA and Canada, and some
from India as well -- not to mention their very large
circle of neighbourly friends and friendly neighbours
--- who all readily and joyously took it upon
themselves to put a grand show together in the true
spirit of the well-worn Tamil expression (that never
of course stales): "koodi-irundhu kuLirndhu.. aelOr!".


Dr Cande Sridhar, bride's father, himself took on the
chore of a one-man reception-committe at LA airport
receiving arriving guests at all hours. He
single-handedly took charge of the decorations of the
large house stringing together festoons and paper
"thOraNam" from atop a house-ladder. Dr Bama with a
band of her friends led the team that did a fantastic
job of preparing the wedding "pandal" complete with
'agni-kundam', "ammi" etc. 

Sisters, brothers and brothers-in-law operated the 
house-kitchen serving out delicious dishes to every
guest that arrived one by one, at all and every hour
of the day and night. 

Good old "thAthA" marshalled the Malibu Temple
"purOhitar" and the main "vAdhyAr-swAmin" to make sure
the religious side of things went smoothly. In
Chennai, the "contracted" priest is usually quietly
"advised" by the hosts, "Please do not drag on the
ceremonies beyond the hour, Sir! Make it quick with
the "muhurtham" so we can all move on to other
events." But here in LA I heard good ol' "thAthA" had
drawn the chief-priest aside and advised him rather
sternly, "Please ensure that all the marriage
"mantrAs" and rites are performed in full measure
without compromise. No short-cuts please...". 

The ladies of the house themselves got around and
painstakingly did "rangOli" and flower arrangements.
And surprise of all surprises, the bridal couple, Sow
Kavita and Chi Vijay, themselves got involved in
together to sit and down draw up meticulous plans for
the events soon to follow over the next two days!  

                   *****************

At last in LA, I was glad to see the old joyous spirit
of yester-years back in a SriVaishnavite wedding
ceremony -- a ceremony where intense family involvment
was once the hall-mark. I was happy to see that for
the "kandhAdai", "maadabushi", "kadaambi" etc. clans,
who yet were first-generation immigrants in the USA,
to be gathered together on the occasion was in itself
a celebration of their roots and familial history. And
what better way to celebrate than to roll up one's
sleeves and lend one's shoulder to the proceedings? 

It was their collective enthusiasm, good cheer,
energy, involvement and camaraderie that truly lifted
the spirit of the occasion to soaring heights and
turned "los-angelessil tirumaNam" into a
SriVaishnavite wedding as it really ought to be: A
wedding of the family, by the family and for the
family!

                  (to be continued)
             ***************************

dAsan,
Sudarshan 





Warm Regards,
Sudarshan

" A life is perhaps worth nothing; but nothing certainly is worth as much as 
life". 
(Andre Malraux)


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