Miscellaneous   < <  .sig  <  the_board   ||

"O.K., so you like don't remember I was here before and I was frolicking about with a bunny on my head and... and you said 'Let's dance' and I said 'O.K.' and the next thing I knew you're all FOOM with the fire and the evil and the kill'n..."
-- Lenore #7, 'The Dream Catcher'

"If I were to send you flowers, where would I... heh. Wait. Let me rephrase. If I were to let... you suck... my tongue... would you be grateful?"
-- Castor Troy (Nicholas Cage), 'Face/Off'

"Well, I'm one of those fortunate people who like my job, sir. Got my first chemistry set when I was seven, blew my eyebrows off, we never saw the cat again, been into it ever since."
-- Goodspeed (Nicholas Cage), "The Rock"

Choda Boy: "So, Joe, how was your first day in the porn industry?"
Joe: "I am a bad, bad Mormon."
-- (Orgazmo)

Greene: "But you told him not to come back?"
Hathaway: "Yeah. I was strong."
Greene: "And he listened to you?"
Hathaway: "Yeah... for the first time. Ironic, huh?"
Greene: "Huh?"
Hathaway: "I expected him to come back."
-- er

"The worm has turned for you, boy."
-- Sgt. Elias, "Platoon"

"Free your mind, your ass will follow."
-- Junior, "Platoon"

"Just keep your pecker hard and your powder dry and the world will turn."
-- King, "Platoon"

"All these years, Vivi, right from the start... all the secrets we had to keep, trying not to catch each other's eyes because we might realize we were strangers...
"And always the medicines, the doctors, the experts, the things I was never told... and the way people looked at us -- 'There go Tom and Viv. What do they say to each other? Whatever do they say?'"
--Willem Dafoe as T.S. Eliot, from 'Tom & Viv'

"Oh, and another thing -- that pentagram the police say they hung on the wall? That was just my Motley Crue t-shirt from back in the 70s."
--Carl Medzie, on his daughters arrest for conducting Satanic rites in a Baptist church.

"When I looked in the box and saw the leash... I thought I was getting a PUPPY!"
--Tess, 'Stark Reving Mad'

"Dogs may be stupid, they may stink, and they might not have a will of their own... but if a cat weighed 60 pounds, it would try to kill you."
-- some anonymous coward from slashdot.

"All cats respond to their names, they just don't deign to tell you what they are.
"The one we call Maggie is really 'sound of can opener.' The one we call Kapua is secretly 'bag of kitty food being shaken.' The one we have named most accurately, Curious-About-Bowls, is truly 'sound of human eating cereal.'"
-- Generic Joe

"Life is a gift, as sweet as a ripe peach, as precious as a gilded jewel. I have never been able to understand the logic of willfully surrendering such a treasure. And what is it again? How dark can your existence be when compared to an eternal void. Unless, of course, you have faith that there is something beyond. What do you see from where you stand? a bright light at the end of a tunnel? is it a ray of hope? a glimmer of something better? or will it burn you like the rising sun? is that sound you're hearing the trumpeting of St. Peter's angels or the screams of Memnoch's tortured souls? You can't answer that, can you? Because you will never know the answer, until after the deed is done. And is your faith really that strong? I understand the need to move on; it is something that happens to us all. And your time has truly come. I also understand that with the beauty of this life there comes pain, and despair. Noone is immune. But consider what you have in your hands before you give it up. Don't trade a treasure for an empty box."
-- Lacroix 'Forever Knight,' "Last Night"

"I just want people to know the original idea of this show was me sitting around with my friends. That's why I got the idea for the show, was 'cause that's what I did at home. So I thought, "Why don't we do that on television? Just sitting around with interesting people, talking about whatever's going on, without the bong." "
-- Bill Maher, about 'Politically Incorrect'

"Oh helium..."
"Heeeeeellllllliiiiuuuum..."
"Listen to the happiness. It brings me misery."
"Miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissssserrrrrrrry."
-- www.strindbergandhelium.com

Operations: "You—of all people—aren't going to warn me against playing God..."
Madeline: "No—provided we do a decent job of it. God doesn't make clumsy mistakes."
Operations: "Nonsense. Scientists say ninety percent of the species ever created on this planet are now extinct. That's a 10 percent success rate. Ours are much higher than that. End of dicussion."
-- La Femme Nikita, "Gates of Hell"

Sarah: "You're handsome. You probably get everything you want from women. Which means you're not very nice."
Michael: "You're right."
-- Juliet Landau and Roy Dupuis, La Femme Nikita, "Before I Sleep"

"Our father would be a 'slippery when schitzophrenic' sign, for instance."
-- Ryan Phillippe, 'Igby goes Down'

brother 1:"So there's this moose. And the moose is telling this other moose that the other moose is really an elk and as such should be running with a different herd. But the moose is basing his whole assessment on what appears to be pretty questionable evidence."
brother 2:"Like... ah... his horns are kinda small?"
1:Actually, it's more of a behaviorial observation. Like, say the moose in question was seen sniffing a flower, which, according to the first moose, is elk-like... but the second moose isn't so sure... I mean, he doesn't feel like an elk, he doesn't have elk thoughts, so does it make him an elk just because he likes this one flower?"
2:"Did you want to try a science metaphor?"
1:"Does it mean I'm gay if I like a lesbian?"
2:laughs "Who have you been talking to?"
1:"I'd rather leave the moose out of it."
2:"Ok, well, first of all... no. Liking a girl is liking a girl. And who says she's a lesbian?"
1:"That would be the moose again."
2:"You know, usually this kind of thing you, just, know!"
1:"I know! But apparently there's all these indicators about me."
2:"Here's your only indicator, are you ready? When you're alone, just kinda passing the time, what do you like to think about?"
1:"Getting past level 5 in Diablo, that sort of thing?"
2:"No. I mean, ok... when you're in the shower..."
1:"Oh, sometimes I think about Condoleeza Rice. I mean, her influence is second only to Kissenger. Um...and then there's... Sigourney Weaver in Alien. Uh. Christina Ricci. Batgirl."
2:"Ok. Stop. See, that's all you need to know."
1:"So, I'm definately a... moose?"
2:"Don't ever make me walk you through this again, ok?"
-- Joan of Arcadia

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