These are not their last names. Nowhere else have I run across men with first names like Shelton, Shelby, Waverly, and Watts.

That doesn't mean he gave Granny a piggyback ride to the store. It means he drove her there, in his car.
He's not knocking Grandaddy's looks. (Although, I don't know, he may be lacking in that department.) He means he's being rude or obnoxious.
"Complained."
"Shopping cart."
"Getting ready to" or "thinking about."

Why is college basketball such a big deal around here? I don't know. I'll do some research and get back to you.

Some special clothes he wears in the living room? No, a matching set of furniture, usually a sofa, loveseat and chair.

Again, he didn't hoist it onto his back and trudge home. He drove it home, in his truck.

Are there any Elizabeths in the South who go by "Betty" or "Bess?" For that matter, are there any out of the South who go by "Libby" or "Liddy?"

"Chicken thigh."

As opposed to chocolate milk.

A diplomatic way of saying "Forget it."

"Carries". That is, the more commonly accepted definition of "carry."

You get the idea.

Where did this word come from? It's not a book, and it doesn't fit in your pocket.

Not like in a restaurant, as good as that may sound to Junior. It means waiting for.

Never put something away. Always put it up.

Parents around here are usually "Mama" and "Daddy." Grandparents are "Granny" and "Granddaddy," unless their grandkids are small--then they're "Maw-Maw" and "Paw-Paw."

"Giving me a bad time."

"Turn on," or "illuminate."

When I first heard this, I pictured someone wearing a sled on his back, like a turtle shell, or strapped to his arm, like a shield. I learned later that it's a knit winter cap.

"Standard transmission."

This can mean anything from “I feel your pain” to “Say no more.” Or, in this case, "Do you think I don't know how to handle a straight drive? Give me some credit, willya?"

"Turn on."

"Push."

"Turn it up."

You get the idea.

Ah. One of my favorite things about this place. Take a whole pig, stick it on a (preferably) wood-fired cooker, roast it for 14 hours. Enjoy. And remember to refrigerate the leftovers.

"Children."

This is the most useful phrase invented in the South. Indicates that a group of people is being addressed. Only used as a subject; when an object, it is "you all."

Note: Barbecue is not a verb. It's a noun, referring in this case to shredded pork in a vinegar sauce, served with coleslaw, hush puppies, boiled potatoes, and a glass of sweet tea.

"I agree completely with what you say. I could add to it, but you pretty much said it all."