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Saturday afternoon. A house in Pittsboro, North Carolina. The phone rings. Our hero picks it up. Dempsey: Hello? Regan: Hey, Dempsey. D: Hey, Regan. R: What you been doing? D: Not much. I carried Granny to the Piggly Wiggly this morning. She had to get out of the house because Granddaddy was being ugly. I’ll tell you what: I hate going to the store with her; she fussed the whole time that her buggy had a wobbly wheel. R: Man, I hate a wobbly buggy. D: You know, Regan, I’m fixin’ to sit down and watch the Carolina game. Do you want to come over and watch it with me? R: I reckon. D: Come on, then. Later in the day . . . The doorbell rings. Dempsey answers it. R: Hey, Dempsey. D: Hey, Regan. Come on in. Regan comes in, looks around. R: You got new furniture? D: Yeah, brand-new living room suit. They wanted thirty bucks to deliver it, so I carried it home myself. Dempsey and Regan sit down. D: You want a snack? R: Sure. D (calling to the kitchen): Liddy, would you bring Regan a short leg? Liddy: I might could do it, but I've got to get ready to go. D: Okay, I'll get it. You want some white milk, too, Regan? R: Okay. Dempsey totes the food in. L: Dear, I’m going to carry Junior to his friend's house. Have you seen my pocketbook? D: Over there on the table. Has he cleaned his room yet? I've been waiting on him all morning. Junior (from his bedroom): Aw, Daddy, quit fussin' at me! L: He's just putting up his clothes. D: Looks like it’s going to rain, so don’t forget to burn your headlights. It’s the law, you know. Oh, and if Junior's going to play outside, make sure he wears his toboggan. L: Okay. Oh, can I take your car? Mine’s acting up. D: Yeah, but don’t forget, it’s a straight drive. L: I hear you. Liddy leaves. D: Is the remote over by you, Regan? R: Sure is. D: Could you cut on the TV? Mash that big button at the top. Now cut it up a little bit. A little more. No, that’s too loud; cut it down some. R: How’s that? D: There we go. They begin to watch the game. D: Hey, Regan, we’re gonna have a pig pickin' tomorrow. We haven’t seen your wife and young'uns in a while. Wish y’all could come out. R: Now, you know how much we love barbecue. We'll be there. They watch the game. D: How about those Tar Heels? |