This oxymoron I think embodies why he felt he was a bad Catholic.
Existentialist thinking places all emphasis on this world, meaning is
derived from existence itself . In its purest form, existentialism appears
to promote atheism. There is no external meaning to life.
Catholicism focuses on the next world, Salvation comes in the afterlife,
faith in this salvation gives meaning to existence. My interpretation is
that Percy felt the practice of religion and Catholicism in particular was
a good thing. However, it seems that he and his characters could not shake
the possibility that there might not be a next Kingdom.
Faith can be a difficult thing. I think Percy struggles with this idea in
an honest manner, that religion without absolute faith does bring good into
the world and that absolute faith is very difficult to achieve.
Perhaps, I am oversimplifying. Is anyone else out there familiar with the
existential side of Percy's works. I haven't seen it mentioned anywhere in
these postings on Catholicism.
David A.