The Rabbis of ancient times prescribed the eighteenth year as the age for marriage. This principle is still followed in the Russian Pale, in Galicia and in Palestine, while in other Eastern countries, Morocco, Persia, and India, marriage often takes place even earlier. In Russia political conditions have combined with moral considerations to produce early marriages, for married men are exempt from military service, and the father who has a dowry for his daughter seeks to secure her marriage before the dot can be imperilled by a riot. In Western countries, how-ever, early marriages are rendered less frequent by pru-dential considerations, though the traditional ideal of family life acts as a check upon a distant postponement. In orthodox circles early marriages, particularly of the daughters, are fairly frequent, but in households long established in a Western environment the age for marriage approximates to that among the general population. In Eastern countries, such as Morocco, Persia, and India, the marriage is arranged by the parents of the young couple, who submissively acquiesce in their fate. In Eastern Europe the parental negotiations are preceded by the activity of a matrimonial agent, who is rendered neces-sary by the segregation of the sexes still observed in most of the communities in Eastern Europe. The Shadchan, as he is called, is a prized visitor in the home of every marriageable girl, whose chances depend, apart from natural charms, upon the size of her dowry and the family reputation for piety, learning, and philanthropy. The highest virtue of the bridegroom is excellence in Talmudic study, which surpasses in value a splendid pedigree or a dazzling income bedimmed with ignorance. In most of the teeming communities of Russian and Galician Jewry the father still regards sacred learning as the noblest pos-session in a son-in-law, and if he can ally his daughter to a budding Rabbi he believes the union will find especial grace in Heaven. The lack of worldly means on the part of the bridegroom forms no deterrent, for it is customary for the father of the bride to keep his son-in-law in his own house for the first two years after marriage, and then to set him up in a home and business of his own. The services of the Shadchan are in constant demand: his area of operations extends throughout the Russian Pale and even across the frontier into Galicia, Rumania, and more distant lands. The couples whom he brings together hardly know one another before marriage and sometimes see each other for the first time on their wedding-day, but their happiness is generally assured by their youth, the absence of a previous attachment, and the fact that marriage affords them the first opportunity of cultivating the senti-ment of love. In the West the arrangement of marriages tends to vary approximately in accordance with local customs and conditions, the freedom of intercourse between the sexes allowing of the natural development of personal affinities. The Talmudic scholarship of a young man enjoys little or no importance in the marriage-market: its place is taken by secular scholarship and scientific distinction, particu-larly in Austria and Germany. But the decisive element in the bridegroom's eligibility is his worldly position and prospects, whilst the bride must, like her sister in the Russian Pale, be provided with a dowry. Despite the free conditions of the West and the vogue of matrimonial advertisements in German countries, the Shadchan still plays an important part, and in America he is even insured by the contracting parties against a breach of promise. But, on the whole, Western Jewry is divided from Eastern Jewry in the facility of marriages of affection as well as in the care exercised to prevent improvident unions. In the East the religious importance attaching to marriage, the stigma attaching to celibacy, and the deep-rooted faith in God as the bountiful Provider of daily needs, usually outweigh material considerations, but in the West the material sustenance of wedded life must first be assured. This difference of attitude results not only in the postpone-ment of marriage in the West, but also in the increase of celibacy, a tendency which is favoured by the sense of independence acquired by women who earn their own living and who find therein a source of consolation or distraction not open to their sisters in the East. Thus, the economic conditions of the modern world tend to modify profoundly the traditional ideals of family life. In ancient times the ceremony of betrothal (erusin) consisted in the signing of a contract which could be set aside only by formal divorce, and it was followed twelve months after by marriage (nissuin, "home-taking"). But when the Jews became dispersed among the nations they found this custom inexpedient, and so combined the two ceremonies in the marriage service. A Jewish betrothal now, therefore, is simply the ordinary engagement in the West, though it receives a religious sanction in the syna-gogue, in which the bridegroom, on the Sabbath following, is called up to the reading of the Law. Should the promise of marriage be unfulfilled, the girl who desires compensation must resort to the law of the land; but she is generally restrained from such a step by modesty and prudence, as her plight would become the talk of the community. The religious solemnization of marriage is, in its essential features, the same in all communities; its festive celebra-tion differs very widely according to environment. In orthodox circles the bride takes a ritual bath the day before the marriage, and both the bride and bridegroom fast on their wedding-day until the festal repast, in expiation of their sins. The scene of the nuptial ceremony is usually in the synagogue, where the rule as to the separation of the sexes is relaxed for the nonce. The young couple take their places beneath a canopy (chuppah) before the Ark of the Law, supported by their respective sponsors, who are known as Unerführer, and accompanied in Western countries by such conventional auxiliaries as best man, bridesmaids, and even page-boys. The Rabbi recites the marriage-benediction, offers a cup of wine to bride and bridegroom, and then the latter, placing a ring upon the bride's finger, makes the declaration: "Lo, thou art dedi-cated unto me by this ring according to the Law of Moses and Israel." The marriage contract, which is an Aramaic composition on parchment, is read; the celebrant utters seven blessings over a second cup of wine; the bridegroom crushes a glass under his foot as a symbol of grief for the loss of Zion; and the celebrant pronounces the benediction. Compliance with the marriage law of the land is naturally insisted upon by the religious authorities, but in very poor circles in Eastern Europe the act of marriage is sometimes confined to a private ceremony (stille Chasunah) at home, which is solemnized by an impecunious Rabbi, and the legal formality of registration is omitted. Such marriages, however, are on the decrease owing to a growing knowledge of the perils involved by illegitimacy. No alliance may take place between a member of the Jewish faith and a Gentile, unless the latter previously becomes a proselyte; nor between a member of the priestly caste (a Cohen) and a widow or a divorced woman. Marriage with a brother's widow, which, when there was no issue, was regarded as obligatory in the Bible times (Deut. xxv. 5, 6), is generally discountenanced, and the ceremony for evading the obligation (halizah, "taking off the shoe ") is observed pretty widely (Deut. xxv. 7-10), except in Reform circles. In Oriental countries the wedding festivities continue several days, and the bride is led to the home of her husband amid the gladsome acclaim of an animated throng. In Russia and Galicia, particularly in the townlets with a tense Jewish atmosphere, the feast is prolonged to a late hour, while profound discourses on Talmudic themes are delivered not only by the Rabbis present, but also by the bridegrooin, who, apparently, is expected to be so free from the exciting emotions of his new estate as to be able to hold forth for an hour upon some controversial theological topic. Entertainment of a lighter kind is provided by a party of fiddlers (Klesmer), one of whom, the jester (Badhan or Marschalik), improvises songs and japes, and addresses the bride in a mock-serious oration which reduces her to tears by depicting the trials awaiting the virtuous house-wife in Israel. In Western countries a dinner and ball are considered in the middle classes the requisite features of a fashionable celebration, and in each locality a recognized code or ritual is scrupulously observed. On the Continent, particularly in Germany, it is customary to perform an amateur play gently satirizing the foibles of the young couple and their families. The honeymoon, which is un-known in Eastern Jewry, is cultivated throughout the West by all whose means allow them the luxury, but in conforming families it is postponed until after the Sabbath following the wedding, as a domestic celebration, known as the " Seven Blessings," is observed on the Day of Rest. No marriage is considered blessed that has no issue; no family is considered complete without children. The maternal instinct of the Jewess is not only a natural emotion, but a traditional ideal, illustrated in the prayer of Hannah. The simple and essential conditions of domestic bliss are picturesquely phrased by the Psalmist: "Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine, in the innermost parts of thine house: thy children like olive plants, round about thy table." A husband is entitled to a divorce after ten years if the marriage has been childless, and hence among the poor pious classes in Eastern Europe a childless wife will perform all manner of virtuous deeds to secure the favour of motherhood and even consult a "good Jew," a man versed in Cabbalistic lore and reputed to possess the miraculous power of the Baal Shem, the founder of the Chassidic sect in the eighteenth century.1 There is also a religious reason for desiring all heir, for it is the duty of a son to honour his parents' memory after death by reciting a special prayer (Kaddish, "sanctification") to which profound - and almost superstitious - importance is attached. The desire for children is generally gratified, often in an abundant measure, though large families are becoming infrequent in the West, where prudential con-siderations prevail. The birth of a child is attended by a number of customs, partly religious
and partly superstitious, though the latter are confined mostly to communities
in Eastern Europe and the Orient. In ignorant families there still prevails
a belief in the power of Lilith over new-born babes, and her sinister influence
is exorcised by a display of charms and amulets on the walls of the sick-chamber.
These charms are mostly in the form of Hebrew leaflets, bearing verses
from the Psalms and an invocation to the guardian angels, which are hung
near the door or window. During the first eight days of its life,
and in some places even for the first thirty days, the child is protected
from benemmerin ("pixies") by a group of young school-children who recite
the evening prayers in the lying-in chamber under the supervision of a
teacher. In parts of Germany, in Rumania, the Caucasus, and the Orient
there are other peculiar customs for the protection of mother and child.
There is still another family celebration, when a boy on completing his thirteenth year publicly assumes religious responsibility, and is styled a "Son of the commandment" (Bar Mitzvah). The rite, known in Western countries as "Confirmation," is of an essentially religious character, but its domestic celebration enjoys at least equal if not greater importance. On the Sabbath after his thirteenth birthday, the boy is called up to the reading of the Law in the synagogue, and cantillates a portion in the traditional melody; while his father offers up a benediction for being exempted from future responsibility for the lad's religious conformity. The event is celebrated at home mostly by a breakfast, at which many speeches are delivered, including one by the boy himself, which, in orthodox families, consists of a Talmudical discourse learned by rote. In Western countries, the traditional breakfast has given way to an afternoon reception, at which the boy's presents are displayed. Orthodoxy knows of no counterpart to this ceremony in the case of a girl, but the Reformers have instituted confirmation services for girls, who are dressed for the occasion in a white frock, and in some countries also in a bridal wreath and train, and who receive gifts from relations and friends in honour of the event. 1 Israel b. Eliezer of Miedzyboz (Poland), 1700-1760, who was credited with the power of working miracles by the name of God, and hence was known as the Baal Shem Tob ("Master of the Good Name"). |
© Iosif
Vaisman
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